a call.

The last night of tcx they played some music and flashed some quotes on screen before the speaker. They were the typical inspirational, go-to-the-ends-of-the-earth-with-the-gospel quotes.

And they are great. I could try to expound on them, give you my opinions about them, or arguments supporting them, but i'll just leave you with wise words that cannot be said any better way:

• "And people who do not know the Lord ask why in the world we waste our lives as missionaries. They forget that they too are expending their lives… and when the bubble has burst they will have nothing of eternal significance to show for the years they have wasted." - Nate Saint
• "Had I cared for the comments of people, I should never have been a missionary." - C.T. Studd
• "You can do something other than working with God in His purpose, but it will always be something lesser, and you couldn't come up with something better." - Steve Hawthorne
• "If Jesus Christ be God and died for me, then no sacrifice can be too great for me to make for Him." - C.T. Studd
• "The more obstacles you have, the more opportunities there are for God to do something." - Clarence W. Jones
• "Missions is not the ultimate goal of the church. Worship is. Missions exists because worship doesn't." - John Piper
• "It will not do to say that you have no special call to go to China. With these facts before you and with the command of the Lord Jesus to go and preach the gospel to every creature, you need rather to ascertain whether you have a special call to stay at home." - J. Hudson Taylor

Ok I lied. After reading them again, I do want to highlight this final quote by J. Hudson Taylor. This summer on project, a staff intern challenged the way we think about missions. I honestly didn't know the guy very well at the time, and don't remember everything he said that night. Whether they were his words or he borrowed them from a famous writer, he said this: Don't do missions when God tells you 'yes.' Go until he says 'No.'

Immediately, my paranoid mind says, there's no way I can apply that to my life. If I tell God I'll go until He says No, He will end up calling me to missions for the rest of my life. Paranoid.

But the guy had a point. While this has been in the back of my mind since Brasil, I've actually begun to think about it recently and consider the ways I could 'go' until God says no. I'm expecting that God has a specific plan for me after graduation. I don't know what it is yet. I'm ok with not knowing, probably only because graduation is still 11 months away. So I don't feel this special call on my life right now to do any specific thing after graduation. Will I let that get in the way of being involved in Christian ministry?

a lot

quite a few thoughts flying around in my head right now. i learned a lot of good stuff last week at tcx. God is so faithful in showing me things i need to know about myself. And providing the strength i need to just get through life. it's funny how much last semester sucked, and while this one doesn't look much different on the outside, i know that it will be a lot better. i'm stronger, more determined, and ready to tackle anything that comes my way. even if a lot comes my way.

ironic...

yesterday i blogged about purpose in life.
i was on my way to work today and i almost got hit by a train.
how's that for weird!? it was a pretty scary moment. i've done some stupid things in my life, but lately i've had a lot of those experiences --
mid june- brasil, almost got hit by semi-type-truck
end of sept- home, near car accident with huge tractor
mid dec -near hit by train

i don't know what god's keeping me alive for, but it's gotta be pretty cool.

purpose.

If you looked at my life now now and compared it to what it was in high school, it's 100% more purposeful now. Mostly everyone who knows me really well now didn't know me then, so it's hard for them to see the change that has occured in my life - but, nonetheless, making Christ part of my life, and slowly learning what it means to make my life his, has greatly changed my perspective on a lot of things. And I'll forever be grateful to God for that.

As I look to starting next semester, my final year of college, I can't help but think about the scary crazy adventure that awaits after graduation. The 'Real World!' Who knew one existed? I caught a glimpse this summer after project. And I liked what I saw.

There's a lot I think about concerning my future - lately I've been wondering if I'll be able to keep my mind on that purpose. You can't serve both God and Money, which might be one of my biggest struggles. I like to compare and compete with others. I care about material things. I always want the best, newest thing out there. I don't ever get it because I realize (luckily before I actually get to the point of buying it) that I don't need it, and really don't want it. Anyway - I just don't want to get corrupted. The business world isn't normally one for befriending others. People in it aren't there to help each other or their fellow man. Am I ready for this?

review.

the next few posts will probably be summaries of my semester (and year). mainly just some random thoughts that I am trying to sort out on paper...kind of. there are a few reasons i haven't been blogging much:

1. little/no time for it
2. not wanting to disclose things online
3. some stuff takes forever to explain in typing
4. my friends tease me about it

the last one is kind of a big deal - not that they tease me about being a dork (because i blog), which we all know is true (that i'm a dork, but not for blogging). i digress.

i don't just randomly spout stuff off to just anyone, or even close friends. this is how my brain works= have a thought...ponder it a long, long time...finally when i can get it out in words, i'll tell someone...then i can move on in a sense...and i probably won't mention it again. - but by blogging stuff, i get it out and then just don't talk about it much. i kind of forget that i never told anyone...lol. hence me not really talking about things i blog about to my friends, which isn't so great. and if they are reading this i hope they are mad i didn't tell them this before blogging it, lol! i don't think any of my roommates read this, tho, so i'm probably safe.

that's enough insight into the mind of amy. i'm kind of just killing time before i can go to bed. that time is here. g'night!

apples & oranges

hopefully i didn't scare the roommies too much tonight ... my temper came out and i started throwing apples and oranges at the trees outside the FH, as was their suggestion. it helped. i am not handling the stress in my life in a god-honoring way at all. add that to the list of annoying things that happened this semester that i really didn't want to happen. bleh.

leadership

tonight instead of one last leadership meeting we ate some Chinese at the Hyv together. It was a real good time. I've been so blessed by God to have the friends I do- and a great support system like the students on the leadership team. it was so nice to hang out with the leadership and not talk about any businessy crusade stuff. we talked about a LOT of random stuff...

• cheating the system by having kids during college to get reduced tuition
• the possibility of adopting a 24 year old to get reduced tuition
• the fact that kids can be brats no matter how you raise 'em
• getting our mouths washed out with soap when we were little
• unsafe toys we played with when we were little
• causes of obesity (genetic/hereditary v. learned behavior/parenting)
• the fact that fischer price play people have even gotten bigger since we were little...

yup. pretty random. :]