TCX (2)

It so often occurs that God tries to get my attention, and I’m not really paying attention. I’m so concerned with my agenda and my needs that, if I’m not careful, I miss out on what He wants me to hear.

This week He showed up in a random chance meeting and blessed me unexpectedly. The second night of TCX prep, I got back to my room about 930, ready to relax for an hour, unpack, and head to bed. A single staff woman had been randomly got assigned to my room, and when I returned, she was packing up to switch rooms. She was only at TCX for one night as she’s leaving staff and getting married this week.

Despite it being her last night at a Campus Crusade event, after being on staff 6 years, and my plan to relax and go to bed early, she and I got to talking. We conversed about her wedding plans and the rest of her week, my role in the regional office, our mutual friends, and the craziness of raising support.

We talked for maybe 45 minutes, during which I learned so, so much and was incredibly encouraged. Through our short conversation I learned she’s in her early thirties, owns her own house and is getting married, moving to another state and leaving staff. Life is about to change in huge ways for her, yet she took some time to ask me about my life and really encourage me in my support raising. It was a housing mistake for her to be placed in my room for the night, but I’m glad it happened. It’s so fun to see God working in even the smallest details.

Food Challenge-Complete!

I still haven't wrapped up our food challenge situation. I really enjoyed it! The time I've saved from wandering around the Hyv and Wal-mart has been spent doing a little more baking/cooking. I find this activity surprisingly enjoyable. Then, there's the money I've saved. Wandering the grocery aisles in Wal-mart almost always leads me to wander other aisles and buy things I do not need (and I know there are others who give in to the same temptation! why is it so hard??). They are usually cheap, small items, but they seem to add up quickly. I only had a few fast food meals those three weeks, which is a surprise to me.

All in all, a great experience! I think I will unofficially be doing this food challenge in 2010! :)

TCX (1)

I am here in Minneapolis setting up for TCX, (Twin Cities Xperience) the annual winter conference of the Upper Midwest region of Campus Crusade for Christ. This year, over 1600 college students from MN IA SD ND and WI will converge on Minneapolis, MN for 4 days of speakers, corporate worship, equipping and training seminars, fellowship and FUN! There's also a day of outreach where students will share food and Jesus with hungry people in the Twin Cities Metro Area.

I've been here 3 hours, and I'm already wishing I were at my full support level so I could be here all the time. My teammates, this city, TCX, Campus Crusade, God's call on my life are all really great and excite me a lot.

I haven't always felt this way the last year. There have been many ups and downs, but I'm so glad I followed His leading into full-time ministry. There were so many days I ignored his promptings, but not being in God's will scares me a whole lot more than the challenges of life right now.

Christmas, Take 3: Coming to Terms.

I really like Carolina Liar's song Show Me What I'm Looking For. Though you grammar sticklers might agree it should be more appropriately titled Show Me For What I am Looking. Most people would probably agree the song's been way overplayed on the radio, thus becoming annoying. But I don't listen to the radio, so I don't consider it overplayed at all. Actually, you probably have no idea what song I'm talking about, as Carolina Liar is a secular rock band that isn't that famous.

Which leads me to my point (finally!): Carolina Liar has another song called Coming to Terms. I like that one, too. They are may not a super appropriate band for a christian to enjoy listening to, but I like them. Most of the group is originally from Sweden. And I love other Swedish bands too, so I'm not surprised- Ace of Base, ABBA, Roxette...I'm on a tangent again...

The real point: their song Coming to Terms helps me explain my most current feelings on the topic of Christmas and the holidays. This is the third time I've blogged about Christmas this year, and I'm, cough cough, coming to terms in the same way Carolina Liar describes it:

I’m coming to terms
I’m starting to learn
This ain’t all it’s cracked up to be...
It’s never as easy as we believe

Ok, so I took out one line of the chorus above, but it fits. I put way too much pressure on myself, immediate and extended family, friends and my church in making Christmas an amazing, memory-filled holiday that exceeds my expectations every single year.

It's just one day. Yes, it's full of family traditions, it's a celebration of the birth of my Savior, and it's the most important holiday to a large segment of society.

Do I love Jesus as much at Christmas as I do other days of the year? Does a bigger tree than last year mean I love Him more than others?

Once in awhile I see a movie or hear someone talk about the "magic" of Christmas. Putting aside our differences and grudges to come together as family is a sweet thing. Being nice to others, even loving our enemies, is great. How wonderful to give of your money, possessions and even your time to help those in need.

But those things are filth compared to the power of majesty of Jesus Christ- who I will worship, honor, and glorify, as much as I can, every day.

FC: Day Thirteen

I had lunch today at a graduation celebration- super good food, didn't have to cook, and it was free! But, the best part was being able to celebrate good friends' college graduations.

Supper was cheese tortellini and red sauce followed up by a snack of so many pistachios that my lips are sore from the salt. That sounds disgusting. But they were so, so good!

FC: Day Twelve- sponsored by the letter "L"

Today I had a late lunch with Lura- last night's leftover's! We had ham, bread and fruit salad from the supper party Thursday, and I brought over some frozen garlic potatoes.

Today's lesson: veggies in those steam bags that you can just throw right into the microwave and cook can also be cooked on the stove in a regular sauce pan. They taste just the same.

Supper: I conned JB into buying a frozen pizza for me and we polished it off so there weren't even any leftovers. I'm not even ashamed. It was SO GOOD!

Vespers.

For the last three years, I've played acoustic guitar/sang for Vespers, an hour of contemporary information worship at my church every Sunday night during the school year. Mainly college students attend, but we do pull in a few adults from the working world once in awhile.

As long as I can remember, I've wanted to be part of a band. Thus far, the dreams that actually have come to fruition in my life, whether small or large, haven't played out like I originally thought they would. The 'band' dream is no different.

This week God showed me how much I've grown in the last few years by being part of the Vespers band- both in my musical ability and my attitude towards leading worship. There were weeks in college that I'd play my guitar for 10+ hours, including church, Cru and Vespers worship times, and practicing for all of those things. My junior year I probably logged over 200 hours playing my guitar, most of which was during group practices. I'm quick to admit I'm not real great, but I'm a whole lot better than when I started, that's for sure.

But even more than my growing ability, my attitude toward musical worship has greatly changed. While originally I wanted to join the Vespers Band just to make music and be apart of the band with some cool people (and also to worship God, but that reason was smaller than the others), I find myself now not really caring about my personal enjoyment or any type of gain from the time of worship. It's about God, and providing an opportunity for others to worship God. Sometimes I just pick up my guitar and worship God in the privacy of my own home, but not everyone can do that. It's my hope that Vespers is a blessing for those who connect with God through musical worship (which is way above another other option on my chart, so typically I do really enjoy it!)

I had a weird ear issue last week in which I couldn't really hear the band at all, but I sang and played anyway, with the hope that people would be able to connect with God, even if I couldn't feel His presence like I usually do. But despite being able to hear well, I felt His presence there without a doubt. Sometimes it seems the only constant thing in life is that God will work unexpectedly!

FC: Day nine-ten-eleven

One word can some up two days: leftovers. I think I will appreciate more this year the wide spread of food at holiday celebrations. The first of which is tomorrow! Day eleven will be comprised of a quick lunch and a fun Christmas supper celebration with great friends from bible study/church!

FC: Day Eight

Taking a deep breath, I carefully opened the freezer door, peeking inside at the mountain of oddly shaped plastic packages. The Green Giant stared me in the face. I could not avoid his smile, from the small box of sugar snap peas to the bag of roasted red potatoes and green beans in a rosemary butter sauce. I carefully moved aside a paper package containing what I hope is still edible chicken, and peered into the very depths of the icy freezer layers.

Wait! A glimmer of hope. I saw a long, blue box, with familiar writing. I reached for them, full of hope that I had found my hidden treasure- a forlorn box of frozen toaster strudels, just waiting to be uncovered from the cold, dark cave that has become our freezer. I turned over the box, and was greeted by cheerful Mister Pop'n'Fresh, the delightful Pillsbury Dough Boy mascot. Hurrah! I had found my beloved box of breakfast strudels. Kudos to my roommie, Allison, for suggesting I look again.

Of course, I celebrated my find by immediately toasting a strawberry-filled dessert-like-breakfast-pastry. Once I got the coffee going, the morning had begun.

Lunch was a much less exciting affair; a quick glance into the fridge revealed what I had been fearing most: leftovers. I still had one bowl of tuna noodle helper. Sigh. At least the noodle-y tuna is now gone!

I cooked up some pancakes for Al for supper, and a bag of pre-mixed teriyaki chicken, rice and veggies for myself. It was definitely tasty. I'm hoping the leftovers that will probably be consumed tomorrow will be just as good.

FC: Day Six & Seven

Dual post for the weekend. Both Saturday and Sunday breakfasts were coffee and cookies...maybe not the most healthy. Sadly, the oatmeal raisin cookies are now gone. I wonder what I will find for breakfast tomorrow morning? Suggestions?

Lunch Saturday was leftover tuna noodle goodness. Saturday supper was Subway, and Sunday lunch was a McDonald's chicken salad. These meals leave me wondering if it's against Food Challenge rules to eat fast food? I don't remember specifying the rules, so I will give myself some grace in this circumstance. But I think it probably should be against the rules, if I can help it.

This has been really fun, by the way! I like the idea of blogging about a goal. I probably should have been blogging about my 40-40-40 fund-raising challenge from November. Oh well.

That leaves...supper tonight. Will have some leftover pizza for a small lunch at 430, and will eat more after Vespers is done at 9.

Christmas, Take Two.

This was a big week: the first blizzard of the year snow, showing winter is seriously here to stay. I'm lining up the final Vespers set for the semester, and I've been searching for a good handful of Christmas hymns to finish off with.

I love this time of year. The Christmas spirit is in the air. Vacation is in sight. NFL teams have worked out the kinks and really start to shine. I even enjoy winter- at least the beginning of it. (And when there is minimal wind!)

Lately, I've felt like the Grinch. I did my Christmas shopping; my gifts were the first ones wrapped, even before the tree was set up at home. I bought candy canes several weeks. My cupboard is bursting with sugar cookie ingredients and festive cookie cutters. N*Sync and Point of Grace Christmas CDs have been promptly rotated from the back of my cd collection to the front.

For some reason, this year feels different than others. Maybe I'm finally growing up. I feel like a kid who found out Santa Claus isn't real this year.

I looked up 'Christmas' on wikipedia and there I learned that the letter X (chi) is the first letter of Christ in Greek. The similar Roman letter X has been used as an abbreviation for Christ since the mid-16th century. Therefore, Xmas is often used as an abbreviation for Christmas. People freak out that the X is taking Christ out of the holiday.

And that word: holiday. I love saying happy holidays. It's not that I want to be politically correct. I'm just too lazy to say "Merry Christmas and Happy New Year." I think that's actually what a lot of people mean when they use that word. Could it be that when people extend a happy holiday greeting.

I wish I knew a Jew. I wonder if I would wish them Happy Hanukkah because that's what they celebrate, or a Merry Christmas because that's what I celebrate. Why is Happy Holidays such a bad thing?

FC: Day Five

Today, I ate my last toasted apple dessert treat for breakfast. Sigh. I'm going to have to get creative now. Or I could just eat oatmeal cookies with my coffee in the morning.

Lunch was tuna helper with a little cheese supplement and some pineapple on the side, while supper was a frozen pizza.

Yummy Salsa.

Awesome Salsa Recipe

1 Can Corn, drained
1 Can Black Beans
drained & rinsed
1 Red Bell Pepper, diced
1 small avocado, diced
4 tbsp Fresh Cilantro, chopped
(I use 1 tbsp Cilantro leaves)
1/2 cup Green Onions, diced
1/2 cup Italian Dressing

Mix, Chill, Enjoy!


I will warn you- this salsa is super addicting! Tostitos Multi-grain chips are my ultimate favorite with this recipe. I think I like it so much because there are no onions or tomatoes, which aren't really favorites of mine (I leave the green onions out). Other helpful tips: don't substitute green peppers for red- it totally changes the taste- and you can use Kraft Lite Italian Dressing to save calories without much of a taste difference.

FC: Day Four

Today was good. Breakfast was a frozen apple pastry, heated to perfection by my toaster and drizzled with some type of yummy frosting, officially making it a dessert instead of a breakfast item.

Yesterday I made my yummy awesome salsa, since I had purchased an avocado and red pepper at Wal-mart. I will upload this recipe in a separate blog. Lunch was microwaved rice, grilled chicken and the salsa in a wrap. It looked amazing - just like Chipotle - but tasted nothing like it.

I was in a baking mood this afternoon- luckily it was Thursday (bible study night)- so I made a box of brownies. While they were baking I cleaned out my section of the kitchen cupboards, finding many hidden treasures I forgot I had. When the brownies had cooled, I frosted them with some cream cheese icing and threw on some Heath bar toffee bits. Yum.

I also tried my hand at homemade oatmeal cookies- 1/2 with raisins, half plain. I cut the recipe in half so we only have a dozen cookies, which a good amount for two people and will last us for days. While these were baking I cleaned the kitchen and finished of our Bible Study book- Tozer's The Pursuit of God. I've enjoyed the book despite feeling very distracted in the midst of almost every chapter. I think this is due to being unable to get a clear outline of each chapter. I like seeing the big picture.

Supper was another tortilla pizza- threw on some Chicken and a dash of Italian seasoning and Garlic- MUCH better than the pepperoni one I made yesterday. And way less greasy.

FC: Day Three

Today was pretty chill. Allison didn't have school due to our massive blizzard. After we spent a good 45 minutes digging out our cars, we visited Wal-mart for ribbon, snow boots and groceries. BUT WAIT! We are not supposed to buy non-necessities. But I did not tell you that the last time we went to the store (Sunday night) we meant to buy an avocado, tortilla chips and a red pepper. We forgot these items then so we picked them up today. I feel the need to explain my actions, since it was part of the deal. We also rented a redbox movie: Julie/Julia. Feel free to check out my post on that below.

So today. Breakfast was a pistachio muffin (that was an odd shade of neon green) and coffee. Lunch was tortilla pizza- thanks for the idea, Christine! Supper was leftover shrimp alfredo- and it was delish! Now on to a productive night of writing, editing and designing...just heard the dryer finish its cycle, so add some towel folding to the list.

Watching Yourself on TV.

My roommate Allison and I are watching "Julie & Julia" right now. I feel like I'm watching myself. Julie decides to blog about her life (cooking through Julia Child's cookbook in a year). She is talking with her roommate (boyfriend/husband) about it and he expresses a concern about his super-acidic stomach - same as my roommate (not my boyfriend, though her nickname is allen, haha). Then Julie admits a fault of hers- the inability to finish what she starts. Uh, hello- totally a flaw of mine.

We'll see how the rest of the movie turns out!
---
Ok, I'm closer to the end of the movie now, and I feel Julie's pain. She is crazy. She had a meltdown and wanted to give up, and then a reporter from Christian Science Monitor calls her for an interview. Maybe this goes to show that when you've hit your breaking point, you're right on track.

FC: Day Two

Tuesday. Day two of the food challenge was the same as day one, except soup for supper and shrimp alfredo for lunch. Good stuff, I have to say. I started clipping coupons this afternoon when the Broadcaster arrived. Then I realized I am not going shopping for the rest of the month. I did save coupons for milk, flour and eggs, since I think those constitute as necessities.

kids.

Kids. I can't wait to have em! I'm so excited to teach them things and see them discover things and watch them grow up.

FC: Day One

Monday. Day One of the Food Challenge.

Breakfast was a frozen Apple Pastry item toasted golden brown.
Yummy soup and crackers for lunch with a tall glass of milk.
Supper = eggs, pancakes and apple-cinnamon muffins.

Tim Tebow.

Two weeks ago, I had never heard of Tim Tebow. Born in the Philippines to American missionaries, Tebow was home-schooled on a farm in northeastern Florida. He thrived on his high school football team, despite a bit of controversy over his home-school status. As a top recruit, he chose University of Florida and won the Heisman Trophy (most outstanding college football player) his sophomore year (the first player to do so).

I happened to turn on the Florida v Florida State game last week (I couldn't resist a good in-state college rivalry). This was where I learned of Tim Tebow, now in his senior year of college. I wasn't sure right away why everyone made a big deal about him, but after watching him play, seeing his interaction on the field with other players, refs and media, and, of course, googling him, I see why he's a big deal. He is a stand-up guy.

Last Saturday's game against Alabama was broadcast nationally, it being the SEC Championship game and all. Tebow's face was one of the most shown on TV throughout the game. Under his eyes was the typical black face paint. But on the black, he had written in white letters "John" and "16:33" ("I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.")

The New York Times featured a story last week not only about Tim, but also his brother, Pete, who is on staff with Campus Crusade for Christ. It's an interesting read and I'd recommend it to those who like a good story (and, especially those who enjoy football).

What a great lesson from Tim- we are more than our resume, our skills, our talents. He is more than a good football player. I can't wait to see where he ends up in the future, and how he will use his gifts to glorify God. He's already doing an outstanding job of that.

Food Challenge!

My roommate likes to do late-night grocery runs, something I've never really done much of. We just finished wandering the aisles of our local HyVee (fondly pronounced hiv-ee in this college town). Due to the late hour and a small snowstorm today, we were the only customers in the store for most of our trip. We were both in silly moods and had an enjoyable time talking through some menus and poking fun at each other.

We were settling in with the groceries in the car, when my roommate is struck with a genius idea: Boycotting the grocery store until Christmas Break, eating all the food in our freezer and cupboards and giving away any nonperishable that we haven't consumed by then. Shear genius. We discussed the benefits of this plan and the fact that we probably would have to go to the store for perishables (I took care of it! I got the milk, eggs and fabric softener!) and essential items. We talked about planning menus, holding each other accountable and getting creative with meals, (with the help of google, I'm sure)!

I'm pretty glad we're doing this. At one point last month, we had 9 opened, half-eaten bag of chips in our kitchen! I don't have the funds to do any kind of shopping this month, groceries included. And my personal benefit aside, it's just more responsible. So look for more posts on this in the future! :)

Learning.

Before Church Sunday morning I was talking with a good friend about school and learning. I mentioned that I believe I hit my intellectual peak in about 5th or 6th grade. I was a fairly smart kid in my elementary years, but by the time I graduated from high school my GPA definitely ranked me lower in my class.

I've known others who have felt the same way, so I figured this occurrence wasn't very unique.
My friend commented that this fact makes sense. She's currently pursuing a PhD in educational psychology, so I figured she'd have a good reason: I was probably relying on my ability instead of effort to get me through elementary school. This explains a slightly tough transition to college, where I had to rely much, much more on my effort than my ability.

This reminds of addiction to caffeine. Or any drug, I guess. You need more of it as time goes on to be as effective as before. To be successful in college, I needed to increase my effort as compared to my effort in high school. When I first started reading the Bible every day, I could read almost any passage and learn something I didn't know. I'll definitely never know everything in the Bible, but I have to dig a little deeper the more I learn.

football!

I love football. Part of me wishes I knew what it felt like to be surrounded in the huddle, set on the line, back in the pocket, sprinting in the slot, juking a defender, celebrating a touch down! Ok, I'm done. I definitely enjoy the Thanksgiving holiday, for the food and family... but I also really like the football. Last weekend I watched 8 games in 3 days. The MN state prep bowl was on Friday and Saturday, along with Florida v. Florida State and the Vikes on Sunday. High School, College, NFL, it doesn't matter I like it all!

Roommates- part two.

Earlier I wrote a post about housing and roommate situations. Part of me would like to live on my own when I move to Minneapolis in the coming months, but with such a high cost of living and the desire to spend less than 35% of my income on housing, I'm thinking a roommate is a good idea and really the only option.

Aside from financial benefits, I've been considering other benefits to having a roommate. I figured boundless.org would have something to say about this matter, so I took a look an article named "20-Something Reasons to Live at Home." The article cites five benefits for singles living in a Christian family environment instead of on their own: Training, Protection, Finances, Community, Service. I feel the need to add here that I am going to be biased on this, because I didn't grow up in a Christian family and I feel that I'm growing in all of these areas on my own without one.

The training section had to do with developing personal habits while living alone that may not be very beneficial. The article cited an example of a single woman living on her own, expressing her enjoyment of a daily/weekly routine involving some of her favorite things. Boundless says this isn't necessarily a good thing, that a person can lose their flexibility and ability to flow with others. To quote the author,

"Living alone, or even with other singles, promotes independence in ways that are not always good. In practice, "independence" often translates to "self-centeredness." This is bad training for life. It's bad training for marriage especially, when we'll need to deal with the intrusions of others, look out for them, and handle changing circumstances with grace."

I think one of the toughest aspects about this topic is this difference between independence and self-centeredness. While living on your own provides all kinds of opportunities to grow and develop as an individual, there is definitely a chance that it can lead to an increase in self-centeredness.

The author of the article goes on to state that living in a family home "has provided me with excellent training for the future. Much of this training comes disguised as annoyance and inconvenience, but it truly is a blessing! It keeps me pliable, so I'm not going to shatter if life drops me into a hard situation. When we embrace family life and keep ourselves open to correction and change, life at home will prepare us to be happy, others-centered people."

I think I see the author's intent here, but I question the use of "shatter if life drops me into a hard situation." I just visited Minneapolis this week, and my car got towed. I had to withdraw $300 from my bank account to get my car out of the impound lot. I handled the situation on my own, and must deal with the consequences of my actions. My parents aren't going to bail me out (I didn't ask them). I'm not sure if all my bills will get paid this month, but I'm not going to cry myself to sleep tonight. Maybe the author had a more tough life situation in mind, I'm not sure what they meant.

The next area of concern was security. I don't doubt that people feel safer when living with a family. When I was little, I couldn't fall asleep until both my mom and dad were home and in the house. I think a lot of kids are like that.

I still remember my first night in my first apartment alone. While I had spent nights at my home alone, and at the farm house alone (which was even more scary!), this was different. I knew that this would be the first of many nights alone. I must admit, I was a bit nervous and scared. But part of this was due to overall feels of nervousness, as I was also a senior in college and unsure about my future. After the first few nights, I got over it. I grew more comfortable with the silence and with being alone. I learned a lot- how to deal with noisy neighbors, heating and electrical issues, setting up internet service, a leaky roof, etc. Maybe these aren't super important, but they were to me. But, my town and apartment complex I lived in were both small and generally safe.

The article cites another benefit of protection from living with family: "When you don't have parents or parental figures limiting the time you spend with your sweetheart (as well as supervising how you spend that time), you're likely to spend too much time with too little (commitment) in return."

Accountability is incredibly valuable and essential while a relationship may be developing. A parental figure can be a great source for this, but proper accountability can also come from roommates, coworkers, other Christian friends of both people in the relationship. Should a 20-something woman in a relationship be depending on a parental figure to monitor her time with her new boyfriend?

Roommates of any kind are almost always a more financially wise option. It's the American way to rent or buy as big as we can. I think that much of the housing market mess is due to the fact that people get into situations they cannot financially handle. Ok, I'm off the materialism and consumerism soapbox and back on the other, which I'm not sure what to call. Maybe my anti-Boundless soapbox! Ok, seriously, I digress.

Living on my own taught me big lessons about finances and budgeting. After 5-6 months on my own, I invited a good friend to move in with me so we could both save money. It was really a great decision- spiritually, personally and financially, which was the motive right away.

Boundless says "Once again, this benefit is best experienced when we actively use it to build for the future. I'm not advocating mooching off your parents!" Glad she added that. The goal of financial freedom or more financial security is a great benefit of living with roommates or with a family, especially for those who have lots of college or personal debt.

The author also adds in that it is easier for people to eat normal, healthier meals while living in a family home. That is very true, but I think 20-something singles are capable of learning how to eat right on their own.

The fourth aspect of family living from the article was community. The community of a Christian family is something I don't always understand. Though I will say, I have had a really strong desire for the last year to be actively involved in the lives of people around me- and I wish that I could take part in this in a big scale. The article lists things like asking questions, spending time together, doing small acts of service, and working toward common goals as aspects of family life that can be beneficial. I definitely want this in my life. This is the part of college life from the farm house that I miss most.

The author goes on to say that "Men and women were not designed to live alone. God's first commandment to the human race was "Be fruitful and multiply." By staying at home, we're able to live within the blessings of that multiplication — trading a cold, empty living room at the end of the day for a household full of warmth. This is healthy, good, and right."

Ouch. I get this, but it doesn't make me feel very good. It's things like this, and comments that marriage is the right way to live, that leave me wondering about the way I can live a purposeful single life.

Finally, service is a great thing for a Christian to take part in. A single person has more time for serving their community, family or roommates.

To quote the article, by living at home, "I don't have to fight to preserve my independence, so I can focus on the needs of others." I don't understand this- what does she mean by fighting to preserve my independence?

Ok, it's time to wrap up this huge post. In sum, I think the 'who to live with' decision is a personal one that depends on many, many things. Many singles would probably thrive living in a family home, but I think it is possible to thrive on your own as well. The success of both depends on many of the issues that the Boundless article discussed, along with others that are unique to each individual. The article brought up some great points, but I don't think it gives 20-somethings enough credit. This is the time in our lives to have fun, learn things and grow up into who God wants us to be.

Housing.

I've been thinking a lot lately about living situations for single women, probably because I'm pretty darn excited to finish raising support and move to Minneapolis. I play lots of scenarios in my head about potential situations...and I may or may not have a folder in my bookmarks tab labeled 'apts' with my favorite living options so far.

So this leaves me thinking about a roommate. I've been incredibly blessed with having amazing roommates for the last 5 years! Freshman year my roommate was a true Joy, a Christian with a strong and passion walk with the Lord who was a great example to me. Sophomore year I lived alone in the dorms since I was an RA. Junior and Senior year I lived in a charming old farmhouse with 3 good friends. We commuted 20 minutes to college, which was an experience in itself, and had a great two years there.

Then all my roommates either graduated or got married, while I still had one semester left. Bummed that I would have to go through my last semester of college without my besties, I ventured out on my own, renting a 2 bedroom apartment in lower Vermillion (but not the 'ghetto'). I loved living in town, and grew to love living on my own. I learned a lot about myself and gained independence in several good ways. For me, and probably for a lot of single women living on their own, my biggest struggle during this time was with self-centeredness.

After six months on my own, a new friend moved in with me. She'd been living in her own 2 bedroom apartment in a nearby town and decided she should downsize to save money. So she moved in to my apartment, in my tiny second bedroom. I had a roommate again!

At present, I'm living with a friend in a small 3 bedroom rental house. It's a great situation because I'm not tied into a lease, can help her with the bills and the one-story house is the perfect size for us.

Ahhh. What nice memories I have from some great college roommates! This leaves me contemplating my next move: my own place (very appealing, but very expensive and many negative aspects)? An apartment/house with friends (potentially the best option, but how likely)?

A good friend of mine prayed for me and this rooming situation the other day. I really appreciated her thoughtfulness - I had not asked her to pray about this, or even mentioned it at all in our 30 minute conversation. It's nice to know people are praying for me in all aspects of my ministry right now. And it's nice to know God's got it under control!

the Office!

I'm in Minneapolis, about to head into my soon-to-be office, and I'm pretty excited! :)

(Sorry if this title made you think this post was about the beloved tv show).

Update (lame title).

Wow! The last week has been crazy. I've been at home on the farm since Wednesday trying to help finish up the harvest and get the place in order before my mom has a microdistectomy next week. I know that word is misspelled but I have no idea how to get it close enough to where the spell check will give me options, so it shall remain.

I have learned a lot the last four days, so look for many upcoming posts as I consider farm life, being a single Christian female in today's world, the holiday season and much, much more.

I don't think I've ever said this before, but thanks for reading! I love to read your comments on my thoughts.

Live Your Best Life Now.

Well, it's official. As of 2011, Oprah is done with her hit talk show. I'm sure housewives across the country teared up at the announcement. Don't worry, she's merely moving from ABC to her own cable network- the Oprah Winfrey Network (OWN).

You know how there are those moments in history where you will always remember where you were and what you were doing when you heard big news? (For me, 9-11. For my mom, when JFK was shot).

I really hope this Oprah thing is not one of those moments. When I heard the news, I did not cry. In high school I loved the NBC Today Show with Katie Couric, I enjoyed watching a good episode of Oprah interviewing famous people...even the View. I had to know what the panel would say about the newest hot topics. I'm not sure how or when it happened, but after I became a Christian I started to care less about Oprah. I also started watching a lot less TV...but I can't get over how much I really don't care about famous people in the news.

I must say, Oprah's story is an admirable one. Rising from a rough childhood in the deep south, she made it to the top, exactly the 'American Dream' that so many people are hoping to fulfill. She has overcome adversity to be a benefit to society. Wikipedia cites her show as gaining popularity by focusing on literature, self-improvement and spirituality.

Our souls are yearning for good stories, hope for change, and a belief in something greater than ourselves. We want someone to give us all of these things. Oprah fulfills so, so many of the unmet longings and desires of American women of all ages. Live your best life now, she urges us.

Huh. Where have I heard that before? That's the same thing Jesus says. And while Oprah can offer us things to fulfill our longings, nothing truly satisfies these desires like Christ can. And does.

Chadley, my Bible study leader, says that the best lie is one that's the closest to the truth. Oprah is just close enough to the truth and goodness of Christianity that many don't think twice her advice and suggestions.

Even her name gives us a clue to this. She was originally named Orpah, after the biblical character in the book of Ruth. "According to an interview with the Academy of Achievement, Winfrey claimed that her family and friends' inability to pronounce “Orpah” caused them to put the “P” before the “R” in every place else other than the birth certificate" (from this wikipedia article).

Most recently, she's entered into politics. Two economists estimate that Winfrey’s endorsement for Barak Obama - the first candidate she's ever publicly endorsed - was worth over a million votes in the Democratic primary race, and that without it, Obama would have lost the nomination. No wonder Blagojevich considered offering her Barak's Senate seat, viewing her influence more powerful than all 100 Illinois Senators combined.

Oprah has really made a name for herself.
That's exactly what isn't important to God.

the fast track.

Jesus was not born on December 25th. Huh. I never considered the idea that Jesus was not actually born on that date in history. How could we really know the date on which he was born? Does the date matter? Can we figure it out? Why do people say "Dec 25 is Jesus' birthday?" Would it not be more accurate to say, December 25 is the date on which we celebrate Jesus' birth. (Note- I did not end that sentence in a preposition).

I've been hung up on this thought for a good three weeks. I can't help but question the opinions and views about God, Christianity and the Church that I grew up with. (couldn't avoid that preposition).

And not only there, but here. I'm guilty of putting my current church on a huge pedestal. Hillside has made a huge positive influence on me and my relationship with God throughout the last five years. But no church is totally on mark, no Pastor is perfect, no church body is unconditionally unselfish. Hillside is no exception.

I feel like I've been on the fast track to a mature walk with the Lord. Lately I've felt the need to take a step back and ask How in the world did I get here? On the outside, my life up until college was on a great track for corporate, financial and career success. On the inside, I was a mess. I'm so thankful for the following things that God has used in my life over the last 4-5 years to bring me as far as I have come.

Discipleship
I met with Wendy, the Campus Crusade staff member who led me to Christ, once a week for almost four years straight- informally and formally over 100 times. In these times we laughed a lot, and she recited many, many, many lyrics from various 80s hits. But aside from rock'n'roll knowledge, I learned how to walk with God every day, what a relationship with Him means and how to be assured of my salvation and His love and forgiveness. I also learned a lot about Campus Crusade and the strategy behind the organization. While I could see the big differences in my life that God made my freshman year, I didn't really have a for going out of my comfort zone to share the Gospel. Wendy, a big fan of personal evangelism and a prayer warrior, helped me take steps of faith over several years, in both of these areas and many others.

Church Worship
Hillside Church was the first non-Lutheran church I'd ever been to for more than one service. To attend the same church every single week and consistently see people who love the Lord and were serious about their beliefs had a huge impact on me. I learned about a relationship with God through Campus Crusade, and met many college students who were walking with Him. But at Hillside I met people in various stages of life who had strong relationships with each other and with God. I met the Heckathorns, and various other people, who would show me things that I could not learn by being a part of campus ministry. Hillside was the first time I ever saw a guitar in a church- let along drums!- and I loved it. Various friendships built with worship band members helped me grow in my knowledge and skill of playing music.

Campus Ministry Opportunities The movement at USD my freshmen year was pretty small, maybe 10 student leaders and an average of 25 attendees at our weekly large group meetings. We had one men's bible study and one women's bible study. There were about 5 freshmen women who got involved in the movement and were put in leadership positions over the course of our freshmen year. Getting involved right away presented a great opportunity for me to learn about campus ministry, and grow up in it.

Student-Led College Bible Study The a fore mentioned student-led Bible was a great thing to be a part of. I'd never been around people my age, at any age, that knew their Bible and wanted to learn more. This was the first glimpse I had into campus ministry and Campus Crusade.

Bible Character Study at Hillside
Week after week, the Old Testament came alive at a Bible Study at my church. The leader, Chad, was incredibly knowledgeable with the perfect amount of humility. It was here that I learned so much behind the stories I'd heard forever- Noah & the Flood, Moses & the Exodus, Sampson & Delilah, among so many many more. God used this Bible Study to cultivate in me a desire to understand His Word and apply it to my life. Chad was humble and quick to admit when he'd made a mistake. But he was also incredibly serious about knowing the Bible and knowing it well, and knowing why we need to know it well. And he has a heart for helping others understand this, too.

Vespers
An hour of solid worship music every Sunday night, Vespers began my sophomore year of college and through this ministry I was able to enter into God's presence through live music like never before. I loved it! My junior year, Mike and Meghan took over leadership and I was asked to join them in leading a primarily college-student crowd in corporate worship. For ten years I had dreamed of learning to play guitar in a band, and this dream was realized through serving with Vespers. I even had the opportunity to lead the band last year, and grew in many ways. Now when asked to help with worship at various events, I feel incredibly secure in my abilities. I could not and would not have been involved in Vespers if God had not cultivated in me a true heart for worshiping Him.

Fear.

We must have an appropriate view of fear. We must not be afraid of what can happen to us in this world. Our circumstances, like the economy or cancer, may not ever get better even though we want them to. But we must not fear. We are to fear the Lord, as it is the beginning of knowledge and wisdom [Psalm 111:10; Proverbs 1:7; Proverbs 9:10].

"To fear and not be afraid--that is the paradox of faith." - A.W. Tozer

for all my single ladies

Just friends. Oh, what a great label ((sarcasm)). I don't know any woman who hasn't had at least one friendship in which either she or the guy was hoping for more than just friends. I'll be honest. When this happens to me, I tend to blame it on the guy.

Boundless.org, a ministry of Focus on the Family, has tons of articles on dating, relationships and marriage, among many other topics like college, singleness, time, money and sex. I've been ready a series on biblical dating and happened upon an article about being 'just friends.'

Author Scott Croft has this to say about deep emotional commitments between Christians (or non-Christians) of the opposite sex:

"By offering a taste of the companionship and interactions that make marriage so satisfying, with none of the accompanying commitments or responsibilities entailed in marriage, intimate friendships discourage the pursuit of the grown-up, God-intended outlet for marital desires — marriage."

Just a quick shout-out to my single friends here. Regardless of whose 'fault' it is when two people are too emotionally invested, both sides are called to be responsible for appropriate levels of emotional and physical involvement.

How would your future husband feel if he knew you were emotionally invested in one of your guy friends? Croft goes on to encourage women who want to get married to think about the way their actions might affect their brothers in Christ. Are we single women satisfying the intermediate needs of our guy friends so they see or feel no particular compulsion to pursue marriage?

But that's not to say single Christian men and women can't be friends at all, and Croft makes that very clear in his article. Claiming biblical backing from I Timothy 5, Croft gives a laundry list of appropriate advice. (Finally! Some practical words for the single segment of the Body of Christ!)

Croft says "Single men and women can and should serve in ministry together, study the word together, and hang out together socially. They should go out together, gather around meals, watch movies. In my view, however, these activities should be done, for the most part, in groups rather than one-on-one. Men can initiate group get-togethers, and so can women. In fact, single brothers and sisters in Christ, like the rest of Christ's body, are positively called to care for one another. Men can (and should) give women rides home rather than have them walk alone at night. Men can come over and move couches. Women can cook a meal for a group of guys in danger of developing scurvy from a near total lack of vegetables. Knock yourselves out."

So, all my single ladies, the body of Christ is a natural place to make friends with Christian men and can often result in two people becoming more than friends down the road. It's not uncommon (or a bad thing!) for a guy to express interest in a girl before they spend a significant amount of time alone...and we certainly don't need to create situations that have a high level of intimacy with a Christian man to lead him to that point.

Christmas.

One year my high school youth group took a trip to a warehouse in Minneapolis to help in preparing shoe boxes for Operation Christmas Child. We watched a training video, spent a few hours checking and re-packing shoe boxes, and sorting them out on different pallets. There were thousands upon thousands of shoe boxes crowded all over the open warehouse - it was amazing to see so many gifts from so many people. Thinking of all the kids that would receive these boxes gave me my first vision for what God might be doing around the world (and I would not become a Christian for 2-3 years).

For the last several years I've been putting together a shoe box for OCC, a division of Samaritan's Purse. I love the organization, and the idea that I can help out in a small way that will actually mean something to someone.

This year, I vowed to purchase items for two shoe boxes for Operation Christmas Child before I did any of my own Christmas shopping. I found that starting out the Christmas gift giving season remembering those around the world who don't have much really put my personal shopping into perspective.

I love gifts. I love receiving, but I do generally love giving them. I enjoy seeing recipients of my gifts smile when they open the package, and it makes me feel good to brighten someone's day, or to show them how much I love and appreciate them. I can't help but feel at least a little disappointed when I've put a lot of effort into a gift and I don't receive any response from the recipient.

Because of this, I tend to want to overspend on gifts, especially at Christmas. This is the only time of the year in which my whole family comes home to the farm. I always want the holiday to go perfectly, because it's the only time we're together all year, but I think I end up putting way too much pressure on my family. A lot has changed for me in the last year, so I think this Christmas will be quite a bit different. I've come to realize that family is family, no matter our opinions, values, priorities and beliefs. I'd really like to just enjoy my time with them this holiday.

quotable!

"You WILL carry out God's purpose. But it makes a difference to you whether you serve like Judas or like John." ~ CS Lewis

quotable!

Success in marriage is not finding the right person, but being the right person in the power of the one perfect Person. -John Piper

Well Encounters.

I've been reading through the OT for a bible study I currently attend, and I've really been enjoying it. I just got to Moses and Pharaoh - you know, the whole "let my people go" bit. Good stuff.

Here I am, drinking my coffee and reading away, when it hits me. So many men in OT times meet their wives at a well. Of COURSE. That's a great idea. Women would show up, minding their own business, dutifully serving their fathers and families by lugging a few 5 gallon buckets here and there.

And the men- they are there to wait for the one, their wife-to-be. (Or for their master's son's wife-to-be). You probably want examples at this point in the post, so here ya go:

• Genesis 24: 12-27 [Isaac and Rebekah]
  
• Genesis 29: 1-14 [Jacob and Leah/Rachel]
• Exodus 2: 15-22 [Moses and Zipporah]
  

My friend JB happened to text me at this time in my learning, so I informed her of my discovery. She and I talk a lot about singleness and dating and relationships and men and marriage- though she's currently not looking, and I am. This works out for me because then she can look for me. Though deep down I know she's really got the better idea in not looking at all. She's so smart.

Anywho, she loved my thought, (of course), and we proceeded to ruminate about our modern-day wells: water coolers/coffee pots. Since I work from home right now, I end up doing work a few times each week in a coffee shop; now deemed by me our modern-day well.

Seriously. I go and do my work. I don't really pay any attention to those around me, unless they are really, really distracting me from my work. I don't lounge around aimlessly, but I'm diligent. I typically wear working clothes and my hair in a pony tail: which I think shows that I take care of myself, but I'm not overly concerned or conceited about my appearance.

Also, these "well women" were servants. When the servant went to find a wife for Abe's son Isaac, he prayed that the one to offer him and his camels a drink when asked would be the correct choice. And Rebekah did so.

So JB comments- maybe we need traditional garb from the bible times. I ask, what would that be? Did they wear head-coverings back then? Would throwing on a baseball cap be an equivalent? :)

When I asked my friend Jules about other modern-day well encounters, she straightforwardly replied Wal-mart. That is where a lot of people go to get our basic needs filled.

What do you think?

Proverbs 3:13-18

Blessed is the one who finds wisdom,
and the one who gets understanding,
for the gain from her is better than gain from silver
and her profit better than gold.
She is more precious than jewels,
and nothing you desire can compare with her.
Long life is in her right hand;
in her left hand are riches and honor.
Her ways are ways of pleasantness,
and all her paths are peace.
She is a tree of life to those who lay hold of her;
those who hold her fast are called blessed.

Envy.

The eye is a crazy thing. My eyes are hazel, but I always wanted brown. And although they tend to change color depending on my outfit, they are permanently tinted with a tiny amount of green envy.

The following article talks about envy. I will be honest, I haven't read all of it, but I'm going to repost it anyway. I identified with the intro so much: FINALLY another woman out there admits that women don't dress for men - they dress for other women. They know that they better measure up to the standards out there. And women will be noticing, because they themselves notice.


http://www.relevantmagazine.com/god/deeper-walk/blog/18957-the-sneaky-trick-of-envy

We can work it out!

Last fall I read Francis Chan's book Crazy Love. It's great.
I recently listened to one of his sermons about living reverently.

His passage of choice was Philippians 2:12-13... Therefore, my dear friends, as you have always obeyed—not only in my presence, but now much more in my absence—continue to work out your salvation with fear and trembling, for it is God who works in you to will and to act according to his good purpose.

Somewhere between Jesus' time on earth and today, somebody made the mistake that salvation is about a one-time decision made through prayer. He asks the would you get that from reading the Bible?

Salvation does come at a point in time; there is a moment when your eyes are opened and you understand that Jesus took your place on the cross. There is a moment of decision. But the rest of your life is you working out this salvation. The rest of your life is about following Jesus.

Midway through the sermon, Chan explained a great analogy with the decision making of a New Years' Resolution. The one-time decision is important, but the rest of the year is following that decision- changing what you need to do to act on it. Your actions will show how serious you were when you made that decision.

Paul wrote this letter from prison, and is encouraging the believers to work out their salvation in his absence. He is saying work out your own salvation. He isn't around anymore to help and encourage them. And they can't depend on him in the same way. And we can't depend on the people around us for our salvation. When it comes down to it, each of us will stand before Christ individually and have to answer for our lives.

Will He really tell you, well done? Are you a good and faithful servant? Or will He say "Depart from me, I never knew you. I know your parents, your grandparents, your pastor, your friends. But I don't know you."

Chan says he has "a responsibility as your pastor. I will probably be judged more strictly than you, according to James 2. I have a responsibility to try to lead you into the right place before God. At the same time, when you stand before God, you are not going to be able to blame me."

When I started walking with the Lord, my motives were shady. I had found great friends and a great social outlet. I always felt like I belonged. God started working in my life, and while I knew I had found something that would change me, I did a lot of things just because of the people.

I think that was ok, to begin with. It always amazes me how God can work through poor motives and irresponsible people. But had I continued to depend on those around me, I'm not experiencing a true relationship with God.

Would I follow Jesus despite all the believers around me? Am I making my salvation my own? A priority of my life?

Work out your salvation with fear and trembling. Chan says "I don't see a lot of fear and trembling in today's church. I see a lot of arrogance when people talk about God...like Scripture says, it's a terrifying thing to fall into the hands of the living God."

We have no excuse to not work out our salvation. We have endless opportunities to serve our neighbors, give to the needy, support missions. We have never had so much knowledge at our fingertips to encourage and challenge us in our relationship with God.

Best and Worst Cities in America

Every city has something to be proud of, but some cities, despite their beauty, charm, or cultural importance, also have features of which they might be a little less proud. Here are a few cities with dubious distinctions.

• According to a survey by AutoVantage (an auto club like AAA), Miami, Florida, is the city with the rudest drivers.

• A Cornell University study determined that New York City has the lowest quality of housing. The World Health Organization says that New York is also the noisiest city in the United States.

• Because of high divorce and unemployment rates and consistently gloomy weather, the city statistics analyzing firm BestPlaces named Tacoma, Washington, the country's most stressful place to live.

• Breathe easy if you don't live in these places: Greenville, South Carolina (where residents suffer the most respiratory tract infections); Scranton, Pennsylvania (the worst city for asthma sufferers); and Tulsa, Oklahoma (the pollen capital of America).

• Based on the number of accidents and fatalities, the International Federation of Bike Messenger Associations named Boston the most dangerous place to ride a bike.

• Zero, a group dedicated to slowing population growth, determined what cities were the best and worst in which to raise children based on the quality of healthcare, education, public safety, transportation, the job market, and the natural environment. The best was Fargo, North Dakota; the worst was Newark, New Jersey.

• According to the National Coalition for the Homeless, Sarasota, Florida, is the city most hostile toward homeless people.

• Forbes magazine named Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania, the worst city for single people. Reasons: expensive beer, few nightclubs, and not enough single people.

• Worst traffic congestion: Los Angeles. (Not coincidentally, it also has the worst air pollution.)

• City with the bumpiest, most pothole-infested roads: Seattle.

• In 2007 Men's Health magazine analyzed various cities' obesity rates, eating habits, and other data, including how much time people spend exercising and sitting in traffic. Result: Las Vegas was judged the nation's "fattest city."

• The city with the most suicides per capita is Medford, Oregon.

• Decatur, Illinois, has the highest skin cancer fatality rate.

• America's most rat-infested city is Baltimore.

• New Orleans leads in both gun- and diabetes-related deaths per capita.

• Hallmark Cards call El Paso, Texas, the city with the worst sense of humor, based on polls in which very few people said they considered themselves funny. (The city also has very low sales of Hallmark's humorous cards.)

• City with the highest percentage of lawyers: Washington, D.C. Nearly 2% of all residents are attorneys.

• According to the book Cities Ranked and Rated, the worst overall city in America is Modesto, California. The city scored a 0 on the book's 100-point scale for its high cost of living, high unemployment rate, lack of activities, and the highest car theft rate in the United States.

From http://www.neatorama.com/2008/05/13/the-worst-cities-in-america/

q&a with Grudem

This is an excerpt from a publication sent to campus crusade staff each month; thought I'd share it. The response to the question is written by theologian and professor Wayne Grudem and is his work entirely.

Q: What happens to infants who die before they are old enough to understand and believe the Gospel?

A: If such infants are saved, it cannot be on their own merits, righteousness or innocence, but it must be entirely on the basis of Christ’s redemptive work and regeneration by the work of the Holy Spirit within them. “There is one God, and there is one mediator between God and men, the man Christ Jesus” (1 Tim. 2:5). “Unless one is born anew, he cannot see the kingdom of God” (John 3:3).

Yet God can certainly bring regeneration (that is, new spiritual life) to an infant even before he or she is born. This was true of John the Baptist, for the angel Gabriel, before John was born, said, “He will be filled with the Holy Spirit, even from his mother’s womb” (Luke 1:15). We might say that John the Baptist was “born again” before he was born!

There is a similar example in Psalm 22:10: David says, “Since my mother bore me you have been my God.” It is clear, therefore, that God is able to save infants in an unusual way, apart from their hearing and understanding the gospel, by bringing regeneration to them very early, sometimes even before birth. This regeneration is probably also followed at once by a nascent, intuitive awareness of God and trust in Him at an extremely early age, but this is something we simply cannot understand well. One analogy to such trust, however, is the instinctive trust that infants have for their mothers. Studies show that they also learn to recognize both their mother’s and father’s voices while still in the womb.

We must, however, affirm clearly that this is not the usual way for God to save people. Salvation usually occurs when someone hears and understands the gospel and then places trust in Christ.

But in unusual cases like John the Baptist, God brought salvation before this understanding. This leads us to conclude that it certainly is possible that God would also do this where He knows the infant will die before hearing the gospel.

This teaching should be especially encouraging to Christian believers whose infants die in infancy, for several passages of Scripture show that it is a frequent pattern of God to save the children of those who believe in Him (see Gen. 7:1; cf. Heb. 11:7; Josh. 2:18; Ps. 103:17; John 4:53; Acts 2:39; 16:31; 18:8; 1 Cor. 1:16; 7:14; Titus 1:6). Particularly relevant here is the case of the first child Bathsheba bore to King David. When the infant child had died, David said, “I shall go to him but he will not return to me” (2 Sam. 12:23). David, who through his life had such great confidence that he would live forever in the Lord’s presence (see Ps. 23:6, and many of David’s psalms), also had confidence that he would see his infant son again when he died. David does not simply say, “I will go where he is,” but his words specify that he expects personal reunion and fellowship: “I will go to him.” David is convinced that he will be with his son in the presence of the Lord forever. And at any age, salvation is always because of His mercy, not because of our merits (see Rom. 9:14–18).

Darkness and Fire.

From The Irresistible Revolution- Shane Claiborne:


"When the darkness of our world, and all of the fears we hold in that darkness, are pierced by the light of God's love and by the possibility that God has other ideas in mind for how we are to live, something liberating happens. But there is also the danger of our becoming mesmerized by the dazzle of the light. It can be quite comfortable, like a campfire. We can crawl up into the hands of God and fall asleep in the sweet aroma and cozy warmth. And so much of the world lies in the cold, clammy darkness of human suffering, oppression, inequality. My friend John Francis Maher sings a beautiful song that whispers to the groaning masses, 'Don't let your eyes adjust to the dark.' Perhaps we could also add for those by the fire, 'Don't fall asleep in the light.'

I once heard Steve Chalke, a church leader and minister in the UK, describe a little kid stumbling across a raging house fire. As he looks around, he notices a water hose, which he quickly grabs, but then, as he frantically goes to put out the fire, he notices something else, something peculiar. All around him are fire engines with firefighters on them, but all of the firefighters are sound asleep. Now the little boy is left with a decision. He can attempt the hopeless task of trying to put out the fire by himself, or he can take that water hose and begin spraying down all of the firefighters.

The choice seems pretty clear when we see how large the inferno is in our world and how small each of our hands are. The darkness of our world will try to smother the light, so we have to surround ourselves with people who make us shine brighter."

Another Church Myth?

This post is one of those topics that old coworkers of mine loved to talk about, and one in which I usually defer to other Christians to settle. It's also something I'm thinking about lately upon finishing 'The Irresistible Revolution' by Shane Claiborne.

I've never considered exactly what a church should do with their tithes/offerings. I could dig up my current church's budget information and take a look at that. But I wouldn't even know how much should go to whom.

So I am unsure what to do with Shane's opinions and research on tithes and offerings in the Scriptures. In his words, he discovered tithes and offerings as "unmistakably intended to be used for redistributing resources to the poor and not to go toward buildings and staff for the church."

"An average of 85% of the church offering is used internally, primarily for staff and buildings and stuff to meet our own needs...no wonder most church going Christians give only less than 3 percent of their income to the church and find other ways of giving money to the poor."

I think my current giving to my church, four single female missionaries and a child-sponsorship program is appropriate considering my income level. But I struggle with giving to the homeless and poor in my community, due to many things- I don't see the need in my day to day life, I am not challenged to give to this segment of society, etc. To be honest, sometimes I feel like it's not my responsibility as a Christian to give- can't the government get their act together and do something?

These excuses are not valid, but they are there nonetheless. When I do feel moved to give to the poor in my community, I don't give to my church. There are local organizations that help the homeless that I've given to in the past. And there are other churches in Vermillion that offer tangible help to those who need it, so I give my time and organization skills to help once in awhile.

I understand the need for churches to spend their money on their own programs and staff. Support for their denomination...I'm not sure how I feel about that yet, because I don't know much about it. I'm not satisfied with what Claiborne wrote, or my own presumptions on the topic of giving to the poor and church tithes. Look for more posts on this in the future.

The Volante.

For several years I wrote for The Volante, the school newspaper for the University of South Dakota. Listed below are links to some of the articles I wrote during my college career:

Life Lessons from "The Simpsons" [March 23 2005]

Nature v. Nurture [April 20 2005]

Beede Residents Forced To Move [December 6, 2006]

Wright From The Start [April 18 2007]

Piano Player Insures Hands [February 7 2007]

Traditions Worthy of Reconsideration [April 27 2005]

Meeting Your Roommate Can Be A Real "Joy" [May 8 2007]

Schfall.

Schwell, it's almost Schnovember. And then it will be schwinter time, which is a bit schridiculous. I've barely been used to schfall.

Grammar.

Is it ok to end a sentence in a preposition?

The Church's "Multiplication Myth"

Sometimes multiplication can divide and subtract instead of the ultimate goal of extensive addition.

We want the Body of Christ to be reaching out and multiplying their faith. But as we grow larger, we divide into subgroups and become introspective. We divide over politics and ways to 'do church' and end up subtracting from the Body. Our goal is to add in such large numbers that we multiply and grow exponentially.

But that doesn't always happen. Shane Claiborne writes about this problem in his book, The Irresistible Revolution. It has been very thought-provoking, and has really challenged the stereotypes that I believe, and those that surround the Christian sub-culture today.

Near the end of his book, Shane explains what he calls the 'myth of multiplication.' "The pervasive myth is that as we grow larger, we can do more good. But there is little evidence that this is ever realized. My own research and experience would suggest that as congregations grow in terms of staff and property, their giving to causes outside of operating expenses decreases dramatically, especially money given directly to the poor. (A recent study shows that) rich people are significantly less generous (proportionately) than poor people, and that large congregations give proportionately far less to people in poverty than do small ones...as we build our buildings, human temples are being destroyed by hunger and homelessness."

I've seen a lot of things in the Body of Christ that don't make sense. Typically I just go along with the crowd because I assume other people know better than I do. I'm starting to question more and more motives and actions in the Church and Christian circles today, due in part to hanging out with a lot of non-Christians. For the first several months at my part-time job in college, I avoided discussing church and other religious topics because I considered myself to be above my coworkers.

But after a few months, I started to really listen to them. Their opinions became really important to me; I tried to dispel the untrue beliefs they had about the church. But after awhile I started to realize that maybe they were right. They weren't persuading me to change my beliefs, but they had a lot more experience in dealing with Christians and the Church. They were legitimate concerns and hurt feelings underneath all of the blown-out-of-proportion opinions.

"Amid all the super-sizing, I want to make a modest suggestion: our goal should be not to get larger and larger but to get smaller and smaller. I think of the Kingdom of God as bubbling up from the bottom rather than trickling down from the top," writes Clairborne. I don't exactly know what this means, or how to go about this as one person in the Body of Christ, but I like the idea. And I'll keep thinking about it until I figure it out.

Sundays.

Life is so good. I love today. Played in the worship band at church, heard a challenging sermon, Hy-Chi with friends for lunch, Vikes FB, cleaned the kitchen, blogging, reading, Vespers practice, a solid hour of worship, and hanging out with friends after. Probably one of the best days I've had in awhile!

Expression.

The way that Christians express their faith is so interesting to me. I've come to find out that the majority of the Christian population that I've met has a genuine desire to share Christ with other people. While some are much more passionate than others, almost everyone I know who professes to believe in Jesus Christ as their Savior and Lord has a desire to express this relationship in someway.


I don't know what to say to the Christians out there who don't have this desire. I understand the reasons behind not wanting to share Christ with others. Fear, selfishness, apathy, pride, the list goes on and on and on. But overcoming these obstacles builds my character and brings me closer to God. Sometimes our motives for sharing are even selfish. I think the level of desirability to share Christ with others really shows a person's maturity level in Christ, and the seriousness of their commitment to Him.


And just in the way we express things inappropriately at times, I don't think we always express our faith in appropriate ways. All too often, because we don't know how to express/share it, we just shy away from reflecting it at all. "Better safe than sorry" is such a bummer. Safety is a legitimate concern for those in the Middle East or China, but that's another story. Even in those situations, God sometimes calls us to give up our safety. I don't know too many situations where He calls us to do this in America- because safety is often never in question.


I love to write, so I write about my faith. I enjoy discussing theological issues, so I bring them up in conversation. I was very upfront about my beliefs with my coworkers when I started my job two years ago. And in the last two years, my non-Christian coworkers brought up theological questions and issues more than I did! I enjoy music, so I express my love for Christ in the songs I write and play. How do you express your faith? God has created you with interests. Pottery, music, cooking, poetry, woodworking, writing, painting - all these things can be used to express your faith.


And once in awhile, spoken words even work. :)

Ebenezer.

Here I raise my Ebenezer, hither by thy help I come.
And I hope by thy good pleasure, safely to arrive at home.


What the heck is an Ebenezer?


"Then Samuel took a stone and set it up between Mizpah and Shen. He named it Ebenezer, saying, "Thus far has the LORD helped us." So the Philistines were subdued and did not invade Israelite territory again." { 1 Samuel 7:12-13


The word Ebenezer is apparently two Hebrew words pronounced together: Even Haazer. The Hebrew word for "help" is Ezer and the word for "stone" is Even. Removing the 'ha' creates "Ebenezer," literally meaning a "Stone of Help."

WoF 09

Quotes and Notes
Women of Faith 2009


Patsy Clairmont
.. If it's not working, stop it.
.. The joy of Jesus will light your life. LET IT SHINE.
.. Don't ask God for the truth. He'll pierce your heart with it.
.. You've been on this mountain too long. Rise up. Leave.


Rich Stearns, President of World Vision
Two Questions to ask yourself:
1. What does God expect of me?
1. Am I willing to be open to God's will in my life?


Lisa Harper
Matthew: written to Jews, genealogy is a big deal
Includes names of imperfect women in genealogy

1. Tamar
   Judah's D-I-L, Gen 38
   Sleeps w/Judah while disguised as a prostitute
2. Rahab
   Full-fledged prostitute
3. Ruth
   Follow's M-I-L, Naomi to Bethlehem
   Moabite: Lot's daughter sleeps w/Lot = son Moab (Gen 19)
4. Bathsheba
   Her name isn't even written ('had been Uriah's wife')
   
   

Sheila Walsh
.. Forgiveness is God's gift to us to live in a world that's not fair.
.. Hebrew of "be still" in Psalm 46:10 means "let go."


Marylin Meberg
.. Of course I would have met my goals. But I would have missed my purpose.

motivation

Some days, caffeine motivates me more than Jesus.
I know it's sad, but it's so very true.

I combine both of them a lot and that makes it hard to tell...

love

"I want my son to know that I loved him before I even knew him or saw him- I loved him before he was even born." - new mom

Isn't that great?? God says the same of us. He loves us as much as a new parent who is seeing their child for the first time. And He loves us even more than that! How and why I do not know.

sacrifice

Can we do anything for God that is truly sacrificial?


"We love because he first loved us." - 1 John 4:19

pick up.

I am intrigued by people's unique individual qualities. I enjoy learning about their passions and talents. Lately I've been thinking a lot about my strengths and how to use them to best glorify God. I think knowing them and how to use them effectively is super important. Someday down the road I'd maybe like to help others figure this out for themselves. I like that it's strategic (a strong thought pattern of mine) because harnessing your potential will increase your effectiveness and efficiency.

I feel like I've been on the fast track to a mature walk w/the Lord. The last five years have been a wild ride, but I think it has been good all around. I've always been surrounded by people who were more mature, some very much so, which helped me grow immensely.

For the first few years of my walk with the Lord, I ate everything up. My faith became very real and personal to me. In hearing many sermons and reading many books, I focused mainly heard the "should nots"- things I should not do, should not say, should not think. But somewhere along the way there was a disconnect with what I SHOULD do, say, think. If people were telling me, I was not listening.

In his book The Irresistible Revolution, Shane Clairborne writes about this feeling. "There must be more to Christianity, more than just laying your life and sins at the foot of the cross. I came to realize that preachers were telling me to lay my life at the foot of the cross and weren't giving me anything to pick up. A lot of us (his youth group/friends) were hearing 'don't drink, don't smoke, don't sleep around' and naturally started asking, 'okay well that was pretty much my life, so what do I do now?' Where were the do's? And nobody seemed to have much to offer us."

Do you ever feel this way? I think all of us probably at some point in some way. A college grad might lay his future down at the foot of the cross. But what does he do while he waits for God's direction? My relation to this is my identity. I'm at a loss. I know that I should not find my identity in what I do. My resume, my planner and my list of goals in life do not define me, but it's ingrained in me in many ways. And even when I can figure out how to lay it down, I don't really know what to pick up.

MPD.

I think the first time I heard someone say "raising personal financial support for full-time ministry is not about the money" was at new staff training in January. I distinctly remember thinking they were ridiculous. Seriously, I thought they were just to sound uber-spiritual. I thought, surely they are just trying to make the 100+ new staff in the conference room feel better in light of their financial situations. Not going to work, Mr. Awesome Staffer Guy. You are not fooling me. And now I'm a bit mad that Crusade would have you come up on stage and blatantly lie to us.

It's taken me a good six to seven months to realize that it's not about the money.

The money is essential, but focusing on finances above the true Provider robs the process of its purpose. It's about learning and growing in my walk with the Lord and challenging and encouraging others in theirs. It's about partnering in ministry with others to reach people for Christ.

I have had many 'favorite' MPD appointments. One time I met a recent college grad for coffee. She literally thanked me for the chance to invest in something she new would have an effect on eternity. I've continually been encouraged by appointments like this, and by so many friends, and even people I don't really know.

So far I've been learning and growing in so many ways: walking in power of Holy Spirit, surrendering my own plans (sometimes on an hour-by-hour basis!), pride in my own abilities to provide for myself and physically 'earn' my money, and on and on.
MPD is really preparing me for many steps of faith I will be expected to take in ministry.

But more than changes in my life, I'm so excited for and expectant of what God is already doing and what He will do in the lives of my ministry partners!!

paranoia, for lack of a better title.

I notice people. I notice things. I remember numbers, addresses, patterns.
I. Love. Data. Collecting it, categorizing it, explaining it.

Lately, I've been a little more social than I have been in the last 2 months, and I can tell that I've been noticing habits and tendencies about people. And I've been considering the impact that this tendency can have on my self-esteem/self-confidence, and the possibility that it might cause paranoia. When I was younger I was quite self-conscious (and often still am). I remember thinking that people were looking at me, critiquing me, even staring at me. Now, I can be self-involved, and I generally just paired those thoughts with my ego/pride.

But I'm wondering if those thoughts of paranoia can be attributed to my assumption that people are watching me as much as I'm watching them. They most certainly don't. I can't be that interesting (i mean on the outside- aside from my blogged thoughts). It's funny that I would attribute a way that I am on to someone else, whether I know them or not. Hm.

History.

I've been in a 'let's get rid of all my junk' today; I just cleaned out a plastic bin with hanging folders FULL of stuff from high school, and even some stuff from college I was clinging to. It's hilarious to look back on stuff I wrote and things I was a part of back at SHS. One publication had a biography in it of me. Towards the end it said "Amy wants to be an accountant some day, but she's frequently bursting out into song. We wouldn't be surprised if she created a firm of singing CPA's." HA! I kept my love of music relatively to myself back then. What a good reminder to be real, to be myself no matter others think. My trips down memory lane don't usually make me thankful for the present. Crazy.

weirdest weekend ever.

The longer I walk w/the Lord, the greater my desire for my family to come to know Him. I want so badly for them to know the joy and hope and potential for change that Christ can bring to an individual, especially one who thinks none of these things are possible in the great ways that they are. To experience that common bond of belief in something and love for something so much greater than ourselves is a constant prayer. After five years, I'm finally starting to just be myself around my family. But I still feel like an outsider, and that feeling will probably never go away.

So after spending several days with family who are obviously not happy or hopeful, I spent 8 hours today with some of the best people in the world. I am so encouraged by being around families that love the Lord. I can completely be myself around them. I've never felt like an outsider, even when I'm being really ridiculous. I want to have my own family some day and experience that enriching joy, that lasting love, with them. To create that environment in which to raise kids. I've had slices of it here and there. Is it possible to miss something you've never truly experienced?

Smells.

The number of different smells present on the farm is quite interesting. Hogs have a distinct smell, but it is definitely different from cows. And then there's manure. And dairy cows have a different smell, too. Weird.

Let it be.

Every week I get an e-mail from Mark, who is a pastor and joined staff with me last January, with an encouraging verse and commentary. Last week's e-mail was labeled 'saving the best.' John 2 tells us of Jesus' first miracle- the wedding at Cana, which everyone knows, and is a pretty great one. It totally shows his character.

He turned water into wine. I mean, come on. He's trying to tell us something. The waiter says:

"Everyone brings out the choice wine first
and then the cheaper wine after the guests
have had too much to drink; but you have
saved the best till now." (John 2:10 NIV)

Jesus supplies wine that is better than the guests expected. And, he gives a LOT of it, not just enough to get by. He doesn't want me to scrape by in life.

So, great. What do we do about it?

I guess in this instance, we do nothing. It's so easy to make things happen for ourselves. In Chad's bible study this week, we talked about Abraham and Sara. God tells Abe he will bless the world through him- he tells him to count the stars, and so shall his descendants be. They took things into their own hands when the Mrs. suggests Abe sleep with Hagar. Not cool. But they can't wait.

God does not disappoint. Well, sometimes we think he does because we don't get what we want...but that topic is for another day.

Even When.

It's a fear that keeps me wide awake
In the middle of the night
When the expectations are too great
And the bar gets raised too high
So I do the best with what I've got
And hope that no one knows
That I strain to see how high I can
Try to stand on these toes
Until I'm measured, but You know better

We raise the standard and try to reach You
But we'll never make it, and we don't need to


even when//nichole nordeman

Waiting.

Waiting doesn't always mean not doing.

We wait for a lot of things in this life. We wait for the tooth fairy, presents at Christmas, the homecoming dance, the first kiss, senior year in high school, college graduation, falling in love, the first real job, the wedding day, the first promotion, the first child. And on and on and on.

I'm not good at waiting. Unless I can watch TV until it happens. And I think watching TV constitutes as doing nothing (productive).

While we wait for things, we cannot let life pass us by. We must work diligently at the tasks at hand. God has put us on this earth to work for his glory. And He enjoys when we take delight in Him, and wants to give us the desires of our heart.

But, as Chad would say, God is God and we are not. He's the Sovereign one, in control of our present and future. And sometimes we must wait for our true desires. We must trust that we will receive them in God's timing, which is always good.

I really want to get married someday. But I have to trust that this will happen in God's timing, if at all. I don't doubt that I can glorify and serve God in marriage. At this point in my life, I think I could, and I'd like to. It is going to be a bigger challenge than I realize right now, that's for sure. But God knows what's best for me, and I trust that. And, I have to trust it may not happen at all. If it doesn't happen, it's for God's glory. It's not because I am flawed or unfit, and it doesn't matter to me what others think about it, only what I think about it. If God decides to be glorified more in my life through my service to Him in singleness than in marriage, then so it will be.

Church.

Last Sunday, during a sermon at a church in Des Moines, I had several really good thoughts that I will attempt to share. I honestly don't remember much about the sermon but I wrote down several statements that were in my head. One statement (paraphrased) that came from the Pastor was "The church is not the end - 'this is as good as it gets, there is nothing more to hope for.' "

I don't even remember why he brought this up, but the statement, and idea, stuck out to me. As a new Christian, it was so easy for me to get wrapped up in the weekly church service. It was a joy to experience true fellowship, sincere sermons and meaningful music. As I've continued to go to church each week and grow immensely in my faith, I see that even Hillside, which I idolized for several years, has flaws. Any church will. And maybe in every church there are people that need to be reminded that church is not the end.

I don't think we should expect the church to provide a person a weekly, consistent spiritual high. This expectation puts too much pressure on the pastor, worship team, even on the congregation. Time for the cliche 'If the church was perfect you couldn't be a part of it.' It's our responsibility to bring ourselves into the presence of God in times outside of the church service.

Every Sunday in church, the scales threaten to tip towards complacency. The movement is often so subtle we cannot notice. We start to feel that church is the end, the crown, the goal. We walk through the doors of familiarity, surrounded by kindness and warmth, and we rest in the comfort. We strive as a church to be familiar, comfortable and kind- which we could be to outsiders, yes, and fellow Christians, too. But we can't let that comfortableness distract us from the goal of serving and glorifying Christ in whatever capacity he wants. Sometimes that is getting involved in and serving our local church. Sometimes it is serving our community in addition to or instead of. I think the trouble is when we consider serving in our church the end-all-be-all. We must be conscious of the community in which we live, and consider how God might be calling us to reach out to them.

legacy.

From Campus Crusade Staffweb:

"Dr. Joon-Gon Kim, founder of Korea Campus Crusade for Christ, has gone home to be with the Lord on the morning of September 29, 2009. He was 84 years old.

Dr. Kim, a visionary and a faithful man of God, has been totally committed to reaching every person in Korea, and the world, for Christ. Many have come to know him as a person who loves God and had the capacity to think big for God, and have been deeply influenced by his passion for the Great Commission.

Steve Douglass says of Dr. Kim, "Campus Crusade for Christ mourns the loss of a superb spiritual leader. God used him mightily in our ministry and beyond. We all mourn with and pray for the family, staff of Korea Campus Crusade for Christ and so many other members of the Body of Christ in Korea who counted him as a faithful friend." "

Within the first decade, Campus Crusade went international in establishing a partnership with Dr. Kim in South Korea. In the next 40 years, the country grows from receiving missionaries to being a sending nation with 270 staff serving in 23 countries.

Promise.

Bethany Dillon had this as her facebook status today:

"This is the promise which He Himself made to us: eternal life." 1 John 2:25

What a great verse. It's so simple, but thinking about this promise makes me think about all the things that God promises to us and all the things He's been faithful in providing. And I also want to say that the numbers in this verse reference represent the day we celebrate Jesus' birth 12/15 :)

Brother Andrew.

Andrew van der Bijl, also known as Brother Andrew, is a Christian missionary famous for his exploits smuggling Bibles to communist countries earning him the nickname "God's smuggler". Brother Andrew was born in the Netherlands, the fourth of seven children. He was raised Dutch Reformed and studied at the Bible Training Institute in Scotland.

A visit to the underground church in Poland in 1955 led to many more ventures into several Communist countries, home to persecuted Christians. Two years later, Brother Andrew traveled to Moscow in a new Volkswagen, given to him by a mentor couple, full of Bibles and spiritual literature, in violation of laws banning religious literature. "He often placed the material in plain view when stopped at government checkpoints, as a gesture of trust in God's protection" (from God's Smuggler). He later founded Open Doors, and the Volkswagen became a signature of the organization.

In the 60s, Andrew visited China, hostile towards the Christian religion, Czechoslovakia, with no religious freedom, and Cuba, after the revolution. In 1976, he wrote a book about spiritual struggle in Africa and encouraged congressional action. Brother Andrew also focused on the Middle East, visiting Lebanon, Israel and Palestine several times.

The first edition of 'God's Smuggler,' was written with John and Elizabeth Sherrill and published in 1976. The book tells the story of Andrew's early childhood, Christian conversion and adventures as a smuggler.

In the book Light Force, Andrew writes about Arab churches that "express great delight because of the mere visit of a fellow Christian from abroad, because they feel the church in the Western world at large is ignoring them. Also he visits some alleged Palestinian terrorists that were deported to an isolated mountainous area by Israel, and preaches the gospel to them." (wikipedia). His seventh book, Secret Believers: What Happens When Muslims Believe in Christ, was released on July 1, 2007.

Dirk Willems.

Dirk Willems, a martyred Anabaptist, was born in the Netherlands in the 1500s. He was rebaptized as a young man, and rejected infant baptism that was practiced then by Catholics and Protestants in the Netherlands. This rejection, along with his devotion to his new faith and rebaptism of others in his home, led to his condemnation from the Roman Catholic Church. Somewhere along the way, he in imprisoned.

During his escape, Willems flees across a frozen lake. Risking recapture, he turns back to save the life of his pursuer, who had fallen through the ice. He was burned at the stake near his hometown on May 16, 1569. Today, he is one of the most celebrated martyrs among Anabaptists.

unknown.

"The reason some folks don't believe in missions is that the brand of religion they have isn't worth propagating."

Author Unknown. But I think they may have been to a Lutheran Church before.

perspective.

"In a desperate search for significance, validation and fulfillment, we attach ourselves to money, relationships, power and prestige...until one day we awake and realize we have connected ourselves to leeches. In darkness, we have reached for the closest tangible thing; however, rather than comfort and healing we find ourselves united with something that is sucking out our life. When the light is turned on, we see ourselves, empty, lifeless, deflated and covered in leeches. The truth emerges-- we are in desperate need of redemption...we must receive a blood transfusion or death is our fate. Blood that is pure, without blemish or defect, is the only thing to save us from our current state of emptiness. As the eyes of our weary heart open, before us we see a Lamb; a gentle creature who has willingly sacrificed Himself. With a last gasp of breath He whispers, Drink this all of you. After the last drop of blood makes its way down--covering us completely--the Lamb comes to life again. But now He lives inside of us."

"For you know that it was not with perishable things such as silver or gold that you were redeemed from the empty way of life...but with the precious blood of Christ, a Lamb without blemish or defect." 1 Peter 1:18