A friend recently asked me what my spiritual gifts are. Instead of blurting them out excitedly, I found myself pausing before answering.
I definitely know what they are, but I was hesitant to share because I didn't want this person to label me. I'm good at organizing- not just material things, but ideas, data and intangible things. That doesn't mean I'm always organized, or that I don't forget things. That also doesn't mean I like to be labeled as the obsessive-compulsive woman who never forgets anything. I have other strengths besides organization.
The flip side of this is that I do love working in the areas of my gifts. I am often quick to jump at the chance to do things in the area of my strengths, but honestly, it gets a little dull sometimes.
I may be good at administrative stuff, encouraging others, etc, but that doesn't mean I can use my gifts as an excuse to not do the things I'm not good at. I don't have the gift of teaching. That doesn't mean I can excuse myself from investing in others through leading a Bible study or mentoring someone. Give me a challenge! Working where I'm weakest provides great potential for growth.
Showing posts with label growth. Show all posts
Showing posts with label growth. Show all posts
Tuesday, October 18, 2011
Wednesday, June 29, 2011
Deep Roots.
Earlier this summer I finished one of the best books I've ever read about being single. Interesting fact: the author was actually involved in Campus Crusade in college but didn't have a real great experience. Which made me even more intrigued by her story.
Anyway, I didn't love the book because of it's writing style (unique and witty) or all of her dramatic stories (there were plenty!). The author consistently shared encouraging insights into the character of God and living the Christian life that she drew from her experiences in relationships (and her lack of relationships, at times).
Below is an example of what I mean- a short excerpt from the book in which the author compares living the Christian life to being a tree:
And you have to sink your roots into Him, after all. You have to find His water underground…only when your roots are drinking from that stream can you grow tall enough and strong enough to reach out into the world and maybe even make a little shade for others. To grow up tall and strong so as to bless the soil of others’ plots of ground – that’s what we’re meant to do. The branch or plant, after all, doesn’t worry so much about “growing” hard or stretching up strong, but sinking the roots down deep into the waters of life. And then, because of how God’s made us, the life and springing upward is a mostly natural consequence of that drinking, sinking, rooting.
If I had a favorite verse, this one from Colossians would be near the top of the list: "Therefore, as you received Christ Jesus the Lord, so walk in him, rooted and built up in him and established in the faith, just as you were taught, abounding in thanksgiving."
That verse felt like the theme of my upperclassmen years in college. Looking back, meditating on this verse propelled me into a search for a deeper relationship with God. I had been feeling distant from God for several months, grown weary of ministry on campus and wasn't growing much emotionally even though I was growing spiritually.
I remember sitting at yet another fall leadership training my senior year (or maybe even super-senior year), and hearing from a speaker that the Gospel was not just for unbelievers, but for believers, too. We needed the Gospel every day. I was floored!! God had been bringing this up in my life for the last year but I didn't really understand until that day. Right away I thought about that verse, about being rooted in Christ each and every day.
While masquerading as a book on singleness, this book taught me a lot about living the life God intends: not striving to grow and do and be externally- but seeking Him wholeheartedly. The Christian life is about letting the growth and good works and character traits we seek come from the love and life we can draw in with roots that grow deep.
Anyway, I didn't love the book because of it's writing style (unique and witty) or all of her dramatic stories (there were plenty!). The author consistently shared encouraging insights into the character of God and living the Christian life that she drew from her experiences in relationships (and her lack of relationships, at times).
Below is an example of what I mean- a short excerpt from the book in which the author compares living the Christian life to being a tree:
And you have to sink your roots into Him, after all. You have to find His water underground…only when your roots are drinking from that stream can you grow tall enough and strong enough to reach out into the world and maybe even make a little shade for others. To grow up tall and strong so as to bless the soil of others’ plots of ground – that’s what we’re meant to do. The branch or plant, after all, doesn’t worry so much about “growing” hard or stretching up strong, but sinking the roots down deep into the waters of life. And then, because of how God’s made us, the life and springing upward is a mostly natural consequence of that drinking, sinking, rooting.
If I had a favorite verse, this one from Colossians would be near the top of the list: "Therefore, as you received Christ Jesus the Lord, so walk in him, rooted and built up in him and established in the faith, just as you were taught, abounding in thanksgiving."
That verse felt like the theme of my upperclassmen years in college. Looking back, meditating on this verse propelled me into a search for a deeper relationship with God. I had been feeling distant from God for several months, grown weary of ministry on campus and wasn't growing much emotionally even though I was growing spiritually.
I remember sitting at yet another fall leadership training my senior year (or maybe even super-senior year), and hearing from a speaker that the Gospel was not just for unbelievers, but for believers, too. We needed the Gospel every day. I was floored!! God had been bringing this up in my life for the last year but I didn't really understand until that day. Right away I thought about that verse, about being rooted in Christ each and every day.
While masquerading as a book on singleness, this book taught me a lot about living the life God intends: not striving to grow and do and be externally- but seeking Him wholeheartedly. The Christian life is about letting the growth and good works and character traits we seek come from the love and life we can draw in with roots that grow deep.
Sunday, June 05, 2011
Minneapolis Half-Marathon
This morning I finished my first half-marathon!! I include 'first' in that sentence because I will definitely be running more. My goals for the race were pretty simple: have fun, do my best and cross that finish line. My final time was 3:04:11...SO close to under 3 hours!)
Besides jogging across the finish line, my favorite moment came at mile 5. After crossing the stone arch bridge, I crested a small hill, and suddenly saw a TON of people, cheering loudly and waving and clapping for the runners ahead of me. The energy in the crowd was so electrifying...I felt like a celebrity! I hadn't stopped at all at that point, and was feeling great, so I blazed through that part of the course.
After the crowd thinned out, we climbed a big hill, and I realized at the top that I wasn't sure what mile we were on. I had been keeping track of my time in my head after hitting each mile mark, so it was pretty odd that I missed one. After climbing another hill, I was pleasantly surprised to see a huge blue mile marker up ahead - mile 7!
Amidst the craziness of the crows, I had totally missed mile marker 6. True confessions: I'd never ran more than 6 miles in my training, so I had unknowingly crossed into uncharted territory. I'm so glad I missed the mark for mile 6, because I probably would have psyched myself out and slowed down. It was a good lesson for me - sometimes you don't have to be so focused on the next milestone and what's up ahead...enjoy your journey!
Throughout the race there were people lounging on the sidelines, cheering on their friends- and strangers, too. I didn't have anyone coming to watch so I wasn't expecting many rousing cheers. But right after mile 8, while climbing another hill, I caught the eye of a middle-aged woman standing near a street light. She started clapping as I neared her, then pointed at me and shouted "YOU are an inspiration. KEEP GOING." After I passed her, I glanced around to see if she was really pointing at me, and there was no one around, so I took that as a random act of support. It was another of my favorite moments. Encouragement can come from the strangest places, where you least expect it.
Around mile 9, my right hip flexor started to hurt. I had been having a lot of problems with my right knee during the last two weeks, and it was also starting to get sore. At mile 10 we hit a turnaround, and I slowed considerably due to my hip. At mile 11 I got a packet of hammer gel, which I could barely get open with my teeth (PS - it was disgusting!). By that time my hip flexor was really starting to hurt, and I had slowed to a brisk walk.
In the first 5 miles of the race today I had several bad side aches, but I pushed through them and kept running. It's not a natural thing for me to enter into pain, but I'm glad I did. Another good life lesson. On the flip side, my hip hurt so much that I had to walk most of the final 2 miles. I'm really glad I didn't push myself to run them and risk a more severe injury. It's hard to know sometimes how far to push yourself.
I was more worried about the mental aspect of the race than the physical, especially because I knew I'm be running the race alone. My friend Kerry signed up with me, but she's a speed demon (finished in 2.25 hours!) so we split after the first half mile. I am surprised at how driven I was throughout the race, and how I didn't psych myself out. I love doing things with other people, but it was actually kind of fun to try this on my own. (Though I wasn't truly alone - I had a very random mix of music artists on iphone to keep me company: Zac Brown, TobyMac, Chris Tomlin, Jason Derulo, B.Dill, the Vespers band, Matt Wertz, Sara Bareilles, Linkin Park, Switchfoot, Josh Turner ... and many others!)
Crossing that finish line felt so, so good. Even amidst the sore muscles and tiredness, I felt so good at the end of the race. There's something about entering into something painful, when you usually shy away from it. You come out on the other side and realize you're ok. You might find out you're stronger than you thought, or you might realize you're weaker. But you make it through.
Besides jogging across the finish line, my favorite moment came at mile 5. After crossing the stone arch bridge, I crested a small hill, and suddenly saw a TON of people, cheering loudly and waving and clapping for the runners ahead of me. The energy in the crowd was so electrifying...I felt like a celebrity! I hadn't stopped at all at that point, and was feeling great, so I blazed through that part of the course.
After the crowd thinned out, we climbed a big hill, and I realized at the top that I wasn't sure what mile we were on. I had been keeping track of my time in my head after hitting each mile mark, so it was pretty odd that I missed one. After climbing another hill, I was pleasantly surprised to see a huge blue mile marker up ahead - mile 7!
Amidst the craziness of the crows, I had totally missed mile marker 6. True confessions: I'd never ran more than 6 miles in my training, so I had unknowingly crossed into uncharted territory. I'm so glad I missed the mark for mile 6, because I probably would have psyched myself out and slowed down. It was a good lesson for me - sometimes you don't have to be so focused on the next milestone and what's up ahead...enjoy your journey!
Throughout the race there were people lounging on the sidelines, cheering on their friends- and strangers, too. I didn't have anyone coming to watch so I wasn't expecting many rousing cheers. But right after mile 8, while climbing another hill, I caught the eye of a middle-aged woman standing near a street light. She started clapping as I neared her, then pointed at me and shouted "YOU are an inspiration. KEEP GOING." After I passed her, I glanced around to see if she was really pointing at me, and there was no one around, so I took that as a random act of support. It was another of my favorite moments. Encouragement can come from the strangest places, where you least expect it.
Around mile 9, my right hip flexor started to hurt. I had been having a lot of problems with my right knee during the last two weeks, and it was also starting to get sore. At mile 10 we hit a turnaround, and I slowed considerably due to my hip. At mile 11 I got a packet of hammer gel, which I could barely get open with my teeth (PS - it was disgusting!). By that time my hip flexor was really starting to hurt, and I had slowed to a brisk walk.
In the first 5 miles of the race today I had several bad side aches, but I pushed through them and kept running. It's not a natural thing for me to enter into pain, but I'm glad I did. Another good life lesson. On the flip side, my hip hurt so much that I had to walk most of the final 2 miles. I'm really glad I didn't push myself to run them and risk a more severe injury. It's hard to know sometimes how far to push yourself.
I was more worried about the mental aspect of the race than the physical, especially because I knew I'm be running the race alone. My friend Kerry signed up with me, but she's a speed demon (finished in 2.25 hours!) so we split after the first half mile. I am surprised at how driven I was throughout the race, and how I didn't psych myself out. I love doing things with other people, but it was actually kind of fun to try this on my own. (Though I wasn't truly alone - I had a very random mix of music artists on iphone to keep me company: Zac Brown, TobyMac, Chris Tomlin, Jason Derulo, B.Dill, the Vespers band, Matt Wertz, Sara Bareilles, Linkin Park, Switchfoot, Josh Turner ... and many others!)
Crossing that finish line felt so, so good. Even amidst the sore muscles and tiredness, I felt so good at the end of the race. There's something about entering into something painful, when you usually shy away from it. You come out on the other side and realize you're ok. You might find out you're stronger than you thought, or you might realize you're weaker. But you make it through.
Wednesday, April 13, 2011
When Pancake People Persevere
I like to dabble. I have a long list of hobbies: photography, songwriting, running, graphic design, crocheting, reading, golfing, playing cards- the list could go on for quite awhile. Recently, I was talking with a friend who used a funny phrase to describe a friend of hers; "all about." She said her friend was "all about quoting Saturday Night Live."
I found this very interesting. What does it look like to be all about something? Is there one thing I'm all about? Is it even a good thing to be all about one thing?
I neglected to include a major hobby in the list above: googling. I love google. I like knowing an instant answer to a question. This is totally normal for the millennial generation (or Net gen, or iY gen, or whatever they call us now). I recently read an article in which my generation was referred to as "pancake people" - due to rapidly advancing technology and instant gratification, we are turning out like pancakes: a mile wide and an inch deep.
This topic continues to run through my head. Last week I received a weekly e-devotional, and the topic was dabbling. The author suggested the opposite of dabbling was a lot less common in our world today: persevering.
If there was one thing I'm "all about," it would probably be strategy. I enjoy using my time wisely. I constantly multitask, which leads me to accomplish a lot in a day. But, I've found that sometimes this leads me to be a little pancake-y. On Sunday I listened to an hour-long podcast while running, but I didn't remember much from the sermon and I couldn't focus very well on my form, so I ended up being pretty sore. I'm not so good at persevering, because I'm more interested in the desired outcome, and getting there as quick as possible.
When I dabble in something, I am satisfied with small results. I've dabbled my training before, and barely been able to finish a 5k. Sometimes, the process of persevering is more important than the goal. This month I started training for a half-marathon. I think I'm about to learn an important lesson; shortcuts in my training now are going to lead to mucho pain later. When I cross that finish line on June 5, I certainly won't be winning any prize money or a trophy. The real reward comes in the health benefits of months of training, along with a deep sense of accomplishment in sticking to a tough training schedule.
I dabble in a lot of things, and I think that's ok. But I should never dabble in my walk with Christ. I may not enjoy the process at times. I may try to take shortcuts so I don't have to walk through tough stuff. But the outcome of persevering, no matter what it is, is in the hands of the God who knows me better than I know myself. It may not be the way I would have chosen...but you said I'll never go alone.
I found this very interesting. What does it look like to be all about something? Is there one thing I'm all about? Is it even a good thing to be all about one thing?
I neglected to include a major hobby in the list above: googling. I love google. I like knowing an instant answer to a question. This is totally normal for the millennial generation (or Net gen, or iY gen, or whatever they call us now). I recently read an article in which my generation was referred to as "pancake people" - due to rapidly advancing technology and instant gratification, we are turning out like pancakes: a mile wide and an inch deep.
This topic continues to run through my head. Last week I received a weekly e-devotional, and the topic was dabbling. The author suggested the opposite of dabbling was a lot less common in our world today: persevering.
If there was one thing I'm "all about," it would probably be strategy. I enjoy using my time wisely. I constantly multitask, which leads me to accomplish a lot in a day. But, I've found that sometimes this leads me to be a little pancake-y. On Sunday I listened to an hour-long podcast while running, but I didn't remember much from the sermon and I couldn't focus very well on my form, so I ended up being pretty sore. I'm not so good at persevering, because I'm more interested in the desired outcome, and getting there as quick as possible.
When I dabble in something, I am satisfied with small results. I've dabbled my training before, and barely been able to finish a 5k. Sometimes, the process of persevering is more important than the goal. This month I started training for a half-marathon. I think I'm about to learn an important lesson; shortcuts in my training now are going to lead to mucho pain later. When I cross that finish line on June 5, I certainly won't be winning any prize money or a trophy. The real reward comes in the health benefits of months of training, along with a deep sense of accomplishment in sticking to a tough training schedule.
I dabble in a lot of things, and I think that's ok. But I should never dabble in my walk with Christ. I may not enjoy the process at times. I may try to take shortcuts so I don't have to walk through tough stuff. But the outcome of persevering, no matter what it is, is in the hands of the God who knows me better than I know myself. It may not be the way I would have chosen...but you said I'll never go alone.
Tuesday, February 01, 2011
Cubicle Confessions: Prayer
Three days a week, the CCC regional office gets together to pray for a half hour. We take turns leading and most often pray for our staff and movements on campuses around the region and the world. It's really interesting to hear about what God's doing all around our five states.
Last week I found myself typing out an e-mail at 1129am, thinking I wish we didn't have prayer today, I have so much to do!
As soon as I thought it, I realized my pride. I don't have time to pray? Seriously! Needless to say, I had a moment of prayer to get my head on straight before I went to the office prayer time.
Why don't I pray more than I do? I talk about my problems a lot more than I pray about them. I surely pray when faced with a something too tough for me to deal with on my own. But even then, I find myself pleading with God to just take away the situation and make things easier. I noticed during MPD that I give up easily when faced with challenge; as soon as I heard I "no," I would give up for the day.
Too often, I accept life for what it is. If I don't believe things can really change, why would I pray?
I could just become more disciplined in my personal prayer life. I could set times throughout the day, like office prayer, when I stop what I'm doing and spend some time before the Lord. I could probably call someone and ask them to keep me accountable in this area. I could read more books about prayer, different methods of praying, etc.
All those things are great, but I think I should just learn more about prayer by praying. I think the issue is that I'd pray more if I truly believed that praying did any good. Prayer changes things, including us. Maybe praying more is a good place to start.
Last week I found myself typing out an e-mail at 1129am, thinking I wish we didn't have prayer today, I have so much to do!
As soon as I thought it, I realized my pride. I don't have time to pray? Seriously! Needless to say, I had a moment of prayer to get my head on straight before I went to the office prayer time.
Why don't I pray more than I do? I talk about my problems a lot more than I pray about them. I surely pray when faced with a something too tough for me to deal with on my own. But even then, I find myself pleading with God to just take away the situation and make things easier. I noticed during MPD that I give up easily when faced with challenge; as soon as I heard I "no," I would give up for the day.
Too often, I accept life for what it is. If I don't believe things can really change, why would I pray?
I could just become more disciplined in my personal prayer life. I could set times throughout the day, like office prayer, when I stop what I'm doing and spend some time before the Lord. I could probably call someone and ask them to keep me accountable in this area. I could read more books about prayer, different methods of praying, etc.
All those things are great, but I think I should just learn more about prayer by praying. I think the issue is that I'd pray more if I truly believed that praying did any good. Prayer changes things, including us. Maybe praying more is a good place to start.
Monday, January 24, 2011
Broken Bootstraps
John and Henry broke my bootstraps this week- but it's actually a good thing.
Allow me to explain. I love old idioms, or cliches, or whatever they are technically called. "Pull yourself up by your bootstraps" is a classic. The meaning of this, if you care to know, is to improve your situation by your own efforts.
We all do that in many regards. I think it's one thing that parents teach their kids, and it's a good lesson to learn. In a way, it reminds me of the good ol' American Dream; you can make something of yourself, even if you aren't dealt the best hand of cards.
It's natural for me to feel this way. Last week at work we had a morning team meeting about the strengthsfinders test, and talked about what each of our strength themes mean and how we can use them to benefit the team.
Two of my themes are significance and individualization. In my life, both of them lead me to seek independence from others. I don't generally label myself as independent, but when learning about my natural inclinations via the strengths discussion, I saw them in a new light.
Last Sunday, my pastor mentioned the mission statement of the church, which reminded me of this whole bootstrap concept. New City Covenant seeks to provide an environment for transformation. This often happens with three things: connecting to God personally, connecting to God's people and connecting to God's purposes.
I've heard him say this before, but this week it really sunk in. I don't depend on other people. I've always thought this was a good, acceptable, appropriate, healthy thing.
John Townsend and Henry Cloud write about the very same thing in How People Grow. I've been working through this book as part of my new staff development at work. (Isn't it crazy when God uses many things to teach us the same lesson?)
So, I've been learning all about depending on people from John and Henry. The Body of believers that constitute the Church today has a unique role: to be Christ to people. This involves extending grace, supporting others, accepting them no matter what, but loving them enough not to let them stay that way.
To quote John and Henry exacting, "Biblical growth is designed to include other people as God's instruments. To be truly biblical as well as truly effective, the growth process must include the Body of Christ. Without the Body, the process is neither totally Biblical nor orthodox."
That's what New City is seeking to be when we talk about connecting with God's people in search of transformation. Something beautiful happens when you confess sin aloud to your friends and peers. When you're able to be honest with yourself about your struggles and honest with others, and when they respond with love and grace, you are able to experience it yourself. And that starts to bring about lasting change.
There's a lot more to discuss and think about in the realm of spiritual and personal growth than I'm covering here.
My goal in this is to show you that the picture of pulling yourself up by your bootstraps implies that you're going to lift yourself off the ground by your own effort. It won't work. You can try and try and try, but you probably won't have long-term progress, or grow like you will if you are able to rely on others to walk alongside you.
Allow me to explain. I love old idioms, or cliches, or whatever they are technically called. "Pull yourself up by your bootstraps" is a classic. The meaning of this, if you care to know, is to improve your situation by your own efforts.
We all do that in many regards. I think it's one thing that parents teach their kids, and it's a good lesson to learn. In a way, it reminds me of the good ol' American Dream; you can make something of yourself, even if you aren't dealt the best hand of cards.
It's natural for me to feel this way. Last week at work we had a morning team meeting about the strengthsfinders test, and talked about what each of our strength themes mean and how we can use them to benefit the team.
Two of my themes are significance and individualization. In my life, both of them lead me to seek independence from others. I don't generally label myself as independent, but when learning about my natural inclinations via the strengths discussion, I saw them in a new light.
Last Sunday, my pastor mentioned the mission statement of the church, which reminded me of this whole bootstrap concept. New City Covenant seeks to provide an environment for transformation. This often happens with three things: connecting to God personally, connecting to God's people and connecting to God's purposes.
I've heard him say this before, but this week it really sunk in. I don't depend on other people. I've always thought this was a good, acceptable, appropriate, healthy thing.
John Townsend and Henry Cloud write about the very same thing in How People Grow. I've been working through this book as part of my new staff development at work. (Isn't it crazy when God uses many things to teach us the same lesson?)
So, I've been learning all about depending on people from John and Henry. The Body of believers that constitute the Church today has a unique role: to be Christ to people. This involves extending grace, supporting others, accepting them no matter what, but loving them enough not to let them stay that way.
To quote John and Henry exacting, "Biblical growth is designed to include other people as God's instruments. To be truly biblical as well as truly effective, the growth process must include the Body of Christ. Without the Body, the process is neither totally Biblical nor orthodox."
That's what New City is seeking to be when we talk about connecting with God's people in search of transformation. Something beautiful happens when you confess sin aloud to your friends and peers. When you're able to be honest with yourself about your struggles and honest with others, and when they respond with love and grace, you are able to experience it yourself. And that starts to bring about lasting change.
There's a lot more to discuss and think about in the realm of spiritual and personal growth than I'm covering here.
My goal in this is to show you that the picture of pulling yourself up by your bootstraps implies that you're going to lift yourself off the ground by your own effort. It won't work. You can try and try and try, but you probably won't have long-term progress, or grow like you will if you are able to rely on others to walk alongside you.
Thursday, December 17, 2009
Vespers.
For the last three years, I've played acoustic guitar/sang for Vespers, an hour of contemporary information worship at my church every Sunday night during the school year. Mainly college students attend, but we do pull in a few adults from the working world once in awhile.
As long as I can remember, I've wanted to be part of a band. Thus far, the dreams that actually have come to fruition in my life, whether small or large, haven't played out like I originally thought they would. The 'band' dream is no different.
This week God showed me how much I've grown in the last few years by being part of the Vespers band- both in my musical ability and my attitude towards leading worship. There were weeks in college that I'd play my guitar for 10+ hours, including church, Cru and Vespers worship times, and practicing for all of those things. My junior year I probably logged over 200 hours playing my guitar, most of which was during group practices. I'm quick to admit I'm not real great, but I'm a whole lot better than when I started, that's for sure.
But even more than my growing ability, my attitude toward musical worship has greatly changed. While originally I wanted to join the Vespers Band just to make music and be apart of the band with some cool people (and also to worship God, but that reason was smaller than the others), I find myself now not really caring about my personal enjoyment or any type of gain from the time of worship. It's about God, and providing an opportunity for others to worship God. Sometimes I just pick up my guitar and worship God in the privacy of my own home, but not everyone can do that. It's my hope that Vespers is a blessing for those who connect with God through musical worship (which is way above another other option on my chart, so typically I do really enjoy it!)
I had a weird ear issue last week in which I couldn't really hear the band at all, but I sang and played anyway, with the hope that people would be able to connect with God, even if I couldn't feel His presence like I usually do. But despite being able to hear well, I felt His presence there without a doubt. Sometimes it seems the only constant thing in life is that God will work unexpectedly!
As long as I can remember, I've wanted to be part of a band. Thus far, the dreams that actually have come to fruition in my life, whether small or large, haven't played out like I originally thought they would. The 'band' dream is no different.
This week God showed me how much I've grown in the last few years by being part of the Vespers band- both in my musical ability and my attitude towards leading worship. There were weeks in college that I'd play my guitar for 10+ hours, including church, Cru and Vespers worship times, and practicing for all of those things. My junior year I probably logged over 200 hours playing my guitar, most of which was during group practices. I'm quick to admit I'm not real great, but I'm a whole lot better than when I started, that's for sure.
But even more than my growing ability, my attitude toward musical worship has greatly changed. While originally I wanted to join the Vespers Band just to make music and be apart of the band with some cool people (and also to worship God, but that reason was smaller than the others), I find myself now not really caring about my personal enjoyment or any type of gain from the time of worship. It's about God, and providing an opportunity for others to worship God. Sometimes I just pick up my guitar and worship God in the privacy of my own home, but not everyone can do that. It's my hope that Vespers is a blessing for those who connect with God through musical worship (which is way above another other option on my chart, so typically I do really enjoy it!)
I had a weird ear issue last week in which I couldn't really hear the band at all, but I sang and played anyway, with the hope that people would be able to connect with God, even if I couldn't feel His presence like I usually do. But despite being able to hear well, I felt His presence there without a doubt. Sometimes it seems the only constant thing in life is that God will work unexpectedly!
Sunday, October 18, 2009
pick up.
I am intrigued by people's unique individual qualities. I enjoy learning about their passions and talents. Lately I've been thinking a lot about my strengths and how to use them to best glorify God. I think knowing them and how to use them effectively is super important. Someday down the road I'd maybe like to help others figure this out for themselves. I like that it's strategic (a strong thought pattern of mine) because harnessing your potential will increase your effectiveness and efficiency.
I feel like I've been on the fast track to a mature walk w/the Lord. The last five years have been a wild ride, but I think it has been good all around. I've always been surrounded by people who were more mature, some very much so, which helped me grow immensely.
For the first few years of my walk with the Lord, I ate everything up. My faith became very real and personal to me. In hearing many sermons and reading many books, I focused mainly heard the "should nots"- things I should not do, should not say, should not think. But somewhere along the way there was a disconnect with what I SHOULD do, say, think. If people were telling me, I was not listening.
In his book The Irresistible Revolution, Shane Clairborne writes about this feeling. "There must be more to Christianity, more than just laying your life and sins at the foot of the cross. I came to realize that preachers were telling me to lay my life at the foot of the cross and weren't giving me anything to pick up. A lot of us (his youth group/friends) were hearing 'don't drink, don't smoke, don't sleep around' and naturally started asking, 'okay well that was pretty much my life, so what do I do now?' Where were the do's? And nobody seemed to have much to offer us."
Do you ever feel this way? I think all of us probably at some point in some way. A college grad might lay his future down at the foot of the cross. But what does he do while he waits for God's direction? My relation to this is my identity. I'm at a loss. I know that I should not find my identity in what I do. My resume, my planner and my list of goals in life do not define me, but it's ingrained in me in many ways. And even when I can figure out how to lay it down, I don't really know what to pick up.
I feel like I've been on the fast track to a mature walk w/the Lord. The last five years have been a wild ride, but I think it has been good all around. I've always been surrounded by people who were more mature, some very much so, which helped me grow immensely.
For the first few years of my walk with the Lord, I ate everything up. My faith became very real and personal to me. In hearing many sermons and reading many books, I focused mainly heard the "should nots"- things I should not do, should not say, should not think. But somewhere along the way there was a disconnect with what I SHOULD do, say, think. If people were telling me, I was not listening.
In his book The Irresistible Revolution, Shane Clairborne writes about this feeling. "There must be more to Christianity, more than just laying your life and sins at the foot of the cross. I came to realize that preachers were telling me to lay my life at the foot of the cross and weren't giving me anything to pick up. A lot of us (his youth group/friends) were hearing 'don't drink, don't smoke, don't sleep around' and naturally started asking, 'okay well that was pretty much my life, so what do I do now?' Where were the do's? And nobody seemed to have much to offer us."
Do you ever feel this way? I think all of us probably at some point in some way. A college grad might lay his future down at the foot of the cross. But what does he do while he waits for God's direction? My relation to this is my identity. I'm at a loss. I know that I should not find my identity in what I do. My resume, my planner and my list of goals in life do not define me, but it's ingrained in me in many ways. And even when I can figure out how to lay it down, I don't really know what to pick up.
Tuesday, October 06, 2009
Church.
Last Sunday, during a sermon at a church in Des Moines, I had several really good thoughts that I will attempt to share. I honestly don't remember much about the sermon but I wrote down several statements that were in my head. One statement (paraphrased) that came from the Pastor was "The church is not the end - 'this is as good as it gets, there is nothing more to hope for.' "
I don't even remember why he brought this up, but the statement, and idea, stuck out to me. As a new Christian, it was so easy for me to get wrapped up in the weekly church service. It was a joy to experience true fellowship, sincere sermons and meaningful music. As I've continued to go to church each week and grow immensely in my faith, I see that even Hillside, which I idolized for several years, has flaws. Any church will. And maybe in every church there are people that need to be reminded that church is not the end.
I don't think we should expect the church to provide a person a weekly, consistent spiritual high. This expectation puts too much pressure on the pastor, worship team, even on the congregation. Time for the cliche 'If the church was perfect you couldn't be a part of it.' It's our responsibility to bring ourselves into the presence of God in times outside of the church service.
Every Sunday in church, the scales threaten to tip towards complacency. The movement is often so subtle we cannot notice. We start to feel that church is the end, the crown, the goal. We walk through the doors of familiarity, surrounded by kindness and warmth, and we rest in the comfort. We strive as a church to be familiar, comfortable and kind- which we could be to outsiders, yes, and fellow Christians, too. But we can't let that comfortableness distract us from the goal of serving and glorifying Christ in whatever capacity he wants. Sometimes that is getting involved in and serving our local church. Sometimes it is serving our community in addition to or instead of. I think the trouble is when we consider serving in our church the end-all-be-all. We must be conscious of the community in which we live, and consider how God might be calling us to reach out to them.
I don't even remember why he brought this up, but the statement, and idea, stuck out to me. As a new Christian, it was so easy for me to get wrapped up in the weekly church service. It was a joy to experience true fellowship, sincere sermons and meaningful music. As I've continued to go to church each week and grow immensely in my faith, I see that even Hillside, which I idolized for several years, has flaws. Any church will. And maybe in every church there are people that need to be reminded that church is not the end.
I don't think we should expect the church to provide a person a weekly, consistent spiritual high. This expectation puts too much pressure on the pastor, worship team, even on the congregation. Time for the cliche 'If the church was perfect you couldn't be a part of it.' It's our responsibility to bring ourselves into the presence of God in times outside of the church service.
Every Sunday in church, the scales threaten to tip towards complacency. The movement is often so subtle we cannot notice. We start to feel that church is the end, the crown, the goal. We walk through the doors of familiarity, surrounded by kindness and warmth, and we rest in the comfort. We strive as a church to be familiar, comfortable and kind- which we could be to outsiders, yes, and fellow Christians, too. But we can't let that comfortableness distract us from the goal of serving and glorifying Christ in whatever capacity he wants. Sometimes that is getting involved in and serving our local church. Sometimes it is serving our community in addition to or instead of. I think the trouble is when we consider serving in our church the end-all-be-all. We must be conscious of the community in which we live, and consider how God might be calling us to reach out to them.