When Pancake People Persevere

I like to dabble. I have a long list of hobbies: photography, songwriting, running, graphic design, crocheting, reading, golfing, playing cards- the list could go on for quite awhile. Recently, I was talking with a friend who used a funny phrase to describe a friend of hers; "all about." She said her friend was "all about quoting Saturday Night Live."

I found this very interesting. What does it look like to be all about something? Is there one thing I'm all about? Is it even a good thing to be all about one thing?

I neglected to include a major hobby in the list above: googling. I love google. I like knowing an instant answer to a question. This is totally normal for the millennial generation (or Net gen, or iY gen, or whatever they call us now). I recently read an article in which my generation was referred to as "pancake people" - due to rapidly advancing technology and instant gratification, we are turning out like pancakes: a mile wide and an inch deep.

This topic continues to run through my head. Last week I received a weekly e-devotional, and the topic was dabbling. The author suggested the opposite of dabbling was a lot less common in our world today: persevering.

If there was one thing I'm "all about," it would probably be strategy. I enjoy using my time wisely. I constantly multitask, which leads me to accomplish a lot in a day. But, I've found that sometimes this leads me to be a little pancake-y. On Sunday I listened to an hour-long podcast while running, but I didn't remember much from the sermon and I couldn't focus very well on my form, so I ended up being pretty sore. I'm not so good at persevering, because I'm more interested in the desired outcome, and getting there as quick as possible.

When I dabble in something, I am satisfied with small results. I've dabbled my training before, and barely been able to finish a 5k. Sometimes, the process of persevering is more important than the goal. This month I started training for a half-marathon. I think I'm about to learn an important lesson; shortcuts in my training now are going to lead to mucho pain later. When I cross that finish line on June 5, I certainly won't be winning any prize money or a trophy. The real reward comes in the health benefits of months of training, along with a deep sense of accomplishment in sticking to a tough training schedule.

I dabble in a lot of things, and I think that's ok. But I should never dabble in my walk with Christ. I may not enjoy the process at times. I may try to take shortcuts so I don't have to walk through tough stuff. But the outcome of persevering, no matter what it is, is in the hands of the God who knows me better than I know myself. It may not be the way I would have chosen...but you said I'll never go alone.

Pushing past incapable

"If you saw me as I was supposed to be, the contrast between me and the rest of the world would be unbearable."

Do you ever feel like you are incapable of being who you know you can be? That somehow, though no one expects anything from you, you still feel vastly important?

We all need a little push. No matter our fears, our struggles or failures, our hopes and plans and dreams. I get pushed every time I watch this video from my friend Marty, and I hope you do, too.

Someday.

My heart is heavy watching the news and reading the stories online about the tragedy in Japan. We had a moment of silence at church today to consider all that's going on in the world. From the aftermath of the tsunami, to difficult situations in our personal lives, there was a lot to think about.

We live in a broken world. Bad things happen to good people. Events occur that don't make sense. Well-meaning people are hurt.

But we know the end of the story. Someday, God's home will be among his people. He will live with them, wiping every tear from their eyes, no more death or sorrow or pain.

I read a book awhile back about living in the now, and the not yet. It was technically about being single in the 21st century, but I found myself relating a lot of the book to other aspects of my life. The difference between life here and life hoped for can be disillusioning. We are stuck in the now, but we hope for the someday when Jesus will make everything new. Knowing the end of the story makes the 'not yet' a little more bearable sometimes. And to be technical, I guess the story never ends :)

What's Really in a Name.

At the end of office prayer yesterday, we spent a few minutes praying about the new name for Campus Crusade for Christ. (If you haven't heard, the name may be changing this summer).

A few people at the table quickly confessed a need to pray for a better attitude about the whole situation. There have been a variety of reactions to both the selection process of the name, and the samples that were included in a recent staff survey.

So, we just spent a few minutes in a small group praying about it. And in those few minutes, I sensed God drawing out some much bigger issues than a lame new name.

Why are we getting so worked up about the name change? I can’t lie; my ears perk up when I hear Campus Crusade for Christ. It’s an organization that God has used to totally change my life. It will always be an important, significant organization to me, and the name evokes a certain response.

But, at the end of the day, it's just a name. Campus Crusade staff labor to make Christ’s reputation known, not ours. No matter our name, the work stays the same: building spiritual movements everywhere.

I do wonder if the core DNA of our organization will change in an attempt to become more relevant through changing the name. I don't think it will happen, but it's a slippery slope sometimes.

Whether the name changes or not, I think there's a deeper issue at hand. Do I work to make my and Campus Crusade's name great, or God's? Who really gets the glory in the work I do?

Transformed.

Two weeks ago we had a women's conference in Minneapolis called "Transformed: Laboring for a Lifetime." (Insert your witty comment here about a women's conference with the word "laboring" in the title).

As far as conferences go, this one was pretty typical- worship, a speaker, breakout sessions, campus time, free time, a dance party, lots of laughing, definitely some crying, etc.

It was a really encouraging experience for me as I wait for the last bit of funding to come in. My calling to ministry was definitely confirmed. I'm a passionate person, but not excites me more than hearing about a student coming to Christ in her dorm and seeking to be used by God to reach her friends and family.

I'd love to be able to solve the economic, political and social problems we face in America and around the world. I can't do much about those problems, but I can help college students discover the truth about Jesus. And someday, maybe they can make a difference in the economic, political and social arenas.

Jesus didn't give up his time in heaven to suffer, die, and then come back to life to give me a peaceful, safe, comfortable existence. One day I will have all those things in Heaven. But He came to earth for redemption. And because of this I can glorify God with my time on this earth, which ends up having a lasting difference in the lives of people I meet.

Here is a photo from the women's conference (I am in the bottom left, in front of a laptop at the sound booth).



This is what it's all about. A sea of college students, learning about Jesus. Some realizing their need for redemption for the first time in their lives. Some considering how God might want to use them to make a difference, for the first time in their lives. So awesome.

Future Strengths

I've blogged about my strengths before, but lately my thoughts have revolved around my future and so I've been thinking about my strengths a lot. Ok, fine- whether I think about my future or not, I'm often thinking of my strengths and how to use them differently, or more efficiently. God's been doing a lot of stuff in my heart/mind and I'm not real sure how that will play out in the coming months/years. At this point, I'm just grateful for where I am.

These thoughts have partially included the field HR and why I love it so much. I enjoy talking about and thinking about my personality and how I can hone my strengths to make me even better at what I am good at. Below are my top five thought patterns:

People strong in the Individualization theme are intrigued with the unique qualities of each person. They have a gift for figuring out how people who are different can work together productively.

People strong in the Input theme have a craving to know more. Often they like to collect and archive all kinds of information.

People strong in the Significance theme want to be very important in the eyes of others. They are independent and want to be recognized.

People strong in the Analytical theme search for reasons and causes. They have the ability to think about all the factors that might affect a situation.

People strong in the Strategic theme create alternative ways to proceed. Faced with any given scenario, they can quickly spot the relevant patterns and issues.

A few thoughts on these patterns:
I'm surprised Connectedness didn't make it into the top 5 (having faith that there are links between all things/events). Maybe it was in the #6 spot. At first I was surprised that Achiever (great deal of stamina and work hard; taking great satisfaction from being busy and productive) was not in my top 5, but I'm kind of glad it's not!

Also, the Arranger theme can organize with a complementing component of flexibility; they like to figure out how all of the pieces and resources can be arranged for maximum productivity. This pattern combined with Individualization would be key for HR.

People to pair up with: Activators. Hard core. I stink at finishing things.

Advice to Seniors

I was digging through some junk the other day in my attempt to pack my stuff, when I happened to find a notebook of loose papers. I almost threw it away without checking to see what it was. Turns out, it was notes from a guest speaker in the Business School from my senior year of college.

As I glanced at the notes, I remembered that he was actually was a good speaker. I didn't write down his name, but I remember he was at that time the CEO of the Americas of HSBC. My notes are pretty basic:

-Love what you do. It’s all that matters.
-If you’re in a game you can’t win, you’ll lose.
-Know the boundaries of the circle of competence. What do I do well?
-What do I do when I don’t have anything to do? How can I make money doing it?

I remember appreciating his honesty; we heard so many people come through the business talking about money, politics, climbing the corporate ladder. But there were small glimmers of something different- "revolutionary" ideas that loving one's day job will bring you more happiness than money. (Shocking, isn't it?)

He also had a top ten list - advice for college grads:

1. Manage your own career (60% me, 20% company, 20% luck).
2. Excessive Job Hopping is detrimental to your career.
3. Maintain a keen sense of curiosity; don’t be too complacent.
4. Gain international experience/exposure; a second language is a plus!
5. DO NOT compromise your values and principles at work.
6. Take pride in all aspects of your work. Be responsible. Take ownership.
7. Be a team champion; don’t be a star.
8. Listening is an art and a hard skill to develop.
9. To be held hostage to your job is not a career.
10. Enjoy what you do and have fun!

Even though I'm in full-time ministry, I still want to have a 'career' of sorts. Maybe that's a bad thing. I've wondered at times whether I'll get (any) skill development on a professional level working for Crusade. Whether I will or not, the spiritual and personal development is a lot more valuable to me (and I think development in these areas would help my professional skills to stand out more, anyway).

Anyway, I know this list is just his opinion, or a rip-off of another person's opinion, but I was intrigued by his very first statement: you need to take change of your own career. I know I will get great opportunities professionally with Campus Crusade (definitely comparable to my fellow USD B-School classmates of 2008); but regardless, I must be responsible for my own career development.

I don't worry as much about other items on the list (#2, #4, #5), but the rest are really important. I definitely want to enjoy my work, fostering creativity and curiosity while being responsible for my contribution to the team.

If I haven't said it enough, I'm so excited for what is in store at the Regional Office!

weirdest weekend ever.

The longer I walk w/the Lord, the greater my desire for my family to come to know Him. I want so badly for them to know the joy and hope and potential for change that Christ can bring to an individual, especially one who thinks none of these things are possible in the great ways that they are. To experience that common bond of belief in something and love for something so much greater than ourselves is a constant prayer. After five years, I'm finally starting to just be myself around my family. But I still feel like an outsider, and that feeling will probably never go away.

So after spending several days with family who are obviously not happy or hopeful, I spent 8 hours today with some of the best people in the world. I am so encouraged by being around families that love the Lord. I can completely be myself around them. I've never felt like an outsider, even when I'm being really ridiculous. I want to have my own family some day and experience that enriching joy, that lasting love, with them. To create that environment in which to raise kids. I've had slices of it here and there. Is it possible to miss something you've never truly experienced?

Waiting.

Waiting doesn't always mean not doing.

We wait for a lot of things in this life. We wait for the tooth fairy, presents at Christmas, the homecoming dance, the first kiss, senior year in high school, college graduation, falling in love, the first real job, the wedding day, the first promotion, the first child. And on and on and on.

I'm not good at waiting. Unless I can watch TV until it happens. And I think watching TV constitutes as doing nothing (productive).

While we wait for things, we cannot let life pass us by. We must work diligently at the tasks at hand. God has put us on this earth to work for his glory. And He enjoys when we take delight in Him, and wants to give us the desires of our heart.

But, as Chad would say, God is God and we are not. He's the Sovereign one, in control of our present and future. And sometimes we must wait for our true desires. We must trust that we will receive them in God's timing, which is always good.

I really want to get married someday. But I have to trust that this will happen in God's timing, if at all. I don't doubt that I can glorify and serve God in marriage. At this point in my life, I think I could, and I'd like to. It is going to be a bigger challenge than I realize right now, that's for sure. But God knows what's best for me, and I trust that. And, I have to trust it may not happen at all. If it doesn't happen, it's for God's glory. It's not because I am flawed or unfit, and it doesn't matter to me what others think about it, only what I think about it. If God decides to be glorified more in my life through my service to Him in singleness than in marriage, then so it will be.

the desk.

I am typing this from my old laptop, which is sitting on allison's desk in the office of our little white house. I thought, now that people have stopped living with us over the summer, maybe I could use the office/guest bedroom as an office. But I gave away my old hand-me-down desk. Allison is allowing me to use hers. She is very nice. So is the desk.

The desk is a key piece of furniture in my eyes. I need a place to focus, peace and prayer- there will be many, many prayers said aloud, and in silent, at this desk. Depends on the day. Depends on the hour of the day, really. Or even the minute. Raising support is such a rollercoaster somedays. Most days. Speaking of frustrations, no word on when the new laptop will be fixed. Hoping soon. And hoping free.

Hm. Well, for now, back to singing along to a burned cd whirring in the background, and back to work. It's a nice desk, and I think it will serve me well while I am here.