Minneapolis Half-Marathon

This morning I finished my first half-marathon!! I include 'first' in that sentence because I will definitely be running more. My goals for the race were pretty simple: have fun, do my best and cross that finish line. My final time was 3:04:11...SO close to under 3 hours!)

Besides jogging across the finish line, my favorite moment came at mile 5. After crossing the stone arch bridge, I crested a small hill, and suddenly saw a TON of people, cheering loudly and waving and clapping for the runners ahead of me. The energy in the crowd was so electrifying...I felt like a celebrity! I hadn't stopped at all at that point, and was feeling great, so I blazed through that part of the course.

After the crowd thinned out, we climbed a big hill, and I realized at the top that I wasn't sure what mile we were on. I had been keeping track of my time in my head after hitting each mile mark, so it was pretty odd that I missed one. After climbing another hill, I was pleasantly surprised to see a huge blue mile marker up ahead - mile 7!

Amidst the craziness of the crows, I had totally missed mile marker 6. True confessions: I'd never ran more than 6 miles in my training, so I had unknowingly crossed into uncharted territory. I'm so glad I missed the mark for mile 6, because I probably would have psyched myself out and slowed down. It was a good lesson for me - sometimes you don't have to be so focused on the next milestone and what's up ahead...enjoy your journey!

Throughout the race there were people lounging on the sidelines, cheering on their friends- and strangers, too. I didn't have anyone coming to watch so I wasn't expecting many rousing cheers. But right after mile 8, while climbing another hill, I caught the eye of a middle-aged woman standing near a street light. She started clapping as I neared her, then pointed at me and shouted "YOU are an inspiration. KEEP GOING." After I passed her, I glanced around to see if she was really pointing at me, and there was no one around, so I took that as a random act of support. It was another of my favorite moments. Encouragement can come from the strangest places, where you least expect it.

Around mile 9, my right hip flexor started to hurt. I had been having a lot of problems with my right knee during the last two weeks, and it was also starting to get sore. At mile 10 we hit a turnaround, and I slowed considerably due to my hip. At mile 11 I got a packet of hammer gel, which I could barely get open with my teeth (PS - it was disgusting!). By that time my hip flexor was really starting to hurt, and I had slowed to a brisk walk.

In the first 5 miles of the race today I had several bad side aches, but I pushed through them and kept running. It's not a natural thing for me to enter into pain, but I'm glad I did. Another good life lesson. On the flip side, my hip hurt so much that I had to walk most of the final 2 miles. I'm really glad I didn't push myself to run them and risk a more severe injury. It's hard to know sometimes how far to push yourself.

I was more worried about the mental aspect of the race than the physical, especially because I knew I'm be running the race alone. My friend Kerry signed up with me, but she's a speed demon (finished in 2.25 hours!) so we split after the first half mile. I am surprised at how driven I was throughout the race, and how I didn't psych myself out. I love doing things with other people, but it was actually kind of fun to try this on my own. (Though I wasn't truly alone - I had a very random mix of music artists on iphone to keep me company: Zac Brown, TobyMac, Chris Tomlin, Jason Derulo, B.Dill, the Vespers band, Matt Wertz, Sara Bareilles, Linkin Park, Switchfoot, Josh Turner ... and many others!)

Crossing that finish line felt so, so good. Even amidst the sore muscles and tiredness, I felt so good at the end of the race. There's something about entering into something painful, when you usually shy away from it. You come out on the other side and realize you're ok. You might find out you're stronger than you thought, or you might realize you're weaker. But you make it through.

Pushing past incapable

"If you saw me as I was supposed to be, the contrast between me and the rest of the world would be unbearable."

Do you ever feel like you are incapable of being who you know you can be? That somehow, though no one expects anything from you, you still feel vastly important?

We all need a little push. No matter our fears, our struggles or failures, our hopes and plans and dreams. I get pushed every time I watch this video from my friend Marty, and I hope you do, too.

Someday.

My heart is heavy watching the news and reading the stories online about the tragedy in Japan. We had a moment of silence at church today to consider all that's going on in the world. From the aftermath of the tsunami, to difficult situations in our personal lives, there was a lot to think about.

We live in a broken world. Bad things happen to good people. Events occur that don't make sense. Well-meaning people are hurt.

But we know the end of the story. Someday, God's home will be among his people. He will live with them, wiping every tear from their eyes, no more death or sorrow or pain.

I read a book awhile back about living in the now, and the not yet. It was technically about being single in the 21st century, but I found myself relating a lot of the book to other aspects of my life. The difference between life here and life hoped for can be disillusioning. We are stuck in the now, but we hope for the someday when Jesus will make everything new. Knowing the end of the story makes the 'not yet' a little more bearable sometimes. And to be technical, I guess the story never ends :)

Cubicle Confessions: Prayer

Three days a week, the CCC regional office gets together to pray for a half hour. We take turns leading and most often pray for our staff and movements on campuses around the region and the world. It's really interesting to hear about what God's doing all around our five states.

Last week I found myself typing out an e-mail at 1129am, thinking I wish we didn't have prayer today, I have so much to do!

As soon as I thought it, I realized my pride. I don't have time to pray? Seriously! Needless to say, I had a moment of prayer to get my head on straight before I went to the office prayer time.

Why don't I pray more than I do? I talk about my problems a lot more than I pray about them. I surely pray when faced with a something too tough for me to deal with on my own. But even then, I find myself pleading with God to just take away the situation and make things easier. I noticed during MPD that I give up easily when faced with challenge; as soon as I heard I "no," I would give up for the day.

Too often, I accept life for what it is. If I don't believe things can really change, why would I pray?

I could just become more disciplined in my personal prayer life. I could set times throughout the day, like office prayer, when I stop what I'm doing and spend some time before the Lord. I could probably call someone and ask them to keep me accountable in this area. I could read more books about prayer, different methods of praying, etc.

All those things are great, but I think I should just learn more about prayer by praying. I think the issue is that I'd pray more if I truly believed that praying did any good. Prayer changes things, including us. Maybe praying more is a good place to start.

A Solid Rock

We got no food, we got no jobs, our pets HEADS ARE FALLING OFF!

One of my favorite childhood memories is hanging out with my older brothers, watching Dumb & Dumber. They thought the movie was hilarious, and I idolized them, so I'd join in whenever they watched it. (I thought it was funny too, but I was only 8 when the movie came out, so it took awhile for me to get all the jokes). I even remember watching Jim Carrey back when he was on "In Living Color" on Fox (...or maybe I remember the syndication). He was hilarious then, and still is.

Early on in my life, I realized that humor could be an effective tool for obtaining and keeping friends. Everybody likes the funny kid. Laughing is better than fighting.

But you can't build a life on humor. Eventually you might take it too far, hurt someone's feelings, maybe even lose a friendship. Your sarcasm that was once hilarious can turn bitter and sickening. Humor is fine, but a continually pessimistic, perpetually sarcastic disposition? Not so fun.

This has been ruminating in my mind for weeks now, mainly as part of a deeper issue: Around/on what do we build our lives?

A few years back, Jim Carrey was quoted in the San Bernardino Sun (Feb 17, 2007):
"I used to think that the parts I did or the fame would define me and someday complete me. After a while, I understood that those things could be crossed off the list of things that will do that. I wish everybody fame and fortune so they can cross it off the list and move on to something else."

Carrey is so close, and yet so far. He's also quoted as saying this about his spirituality: "When it comes to Jesus, you know, he said a lot of incredibly impactful, wonderful things that were amazing and completely misunderstood for the most part. Somebody might not understand “nobody gets to heaven but through me.” They might take it literally. I believe it means “by loving like I love and forgiving like I forgive.”

This topic also reminds me of some song lyrics by the Dixie Chicks: "I've been afraid of changing 'cause I built my life around you." You can't build a life around a person, either.

The tricky thing is, even after we realize Jesus is the one true, perfect, consistent being on which to build our lives, we are still tempted to rely on other things to fill this void or be our rock. We see our value and worth in other things. Whether it's being the most popular, or the most merciful, having tons of money, or tons of faith, we put our trust in other things.

If you're going to build your life on something, Christ is the very best thing.

When every earthly prop gives way,
He then is all my Hope and Stay.
On Christ, the solid Rock, I stand;
All other ground is sinking sand.