Broken Bootstraps

John and Henry broke my bootstraps this week- but it's actually a good thing.

Allow me to explain. I love old idioms, or cliches, or whatever they are technically called. "Pull yourself up by your bootstraps" is a classic. The meaning of this, if you care to know, is to improve your situation by your own efforts.

We all do that in many regards. I think it's one thing that parents teach their kids, and it's a good lesson to learn. In a way, it reminds me of the good ol' American Dream; you can make something of yourself, even if you aren't dealt the best hand of cards.

It's natural for me to feel this way. Last week at work we had a morning team meeting about the strengthsfinders test, and talked about what each of our strength themes mean and how we can use them to benefit the team.

Two of my themes are significance and individualization. In my life, both of them lead me to seek independence from others. I don't generally label myself as independent, but when learning about my natural inclinations via the strengths discussion, I saw them in a new light.

Last Sunday, my pastor mentioned the mission statement of the church, which reminded me of this whole bootstrap concept. New City Covenant seeks to provide an environment for transformation. This often happens with three things: connecting to God personally, connecting to God's people and connecting to God's purposes.

I've heard him say this before, but this week it really sunk in. I don't depend on other people. I've always thought this was a good, acceptable, appropriate, healthy thing.

John Townsend and Henry Cloud write about the very same thing in How People Grow. I've been working through this book as part of my new staff development at work. (Isn't it crazy when God uses many things to teach us the same lesson?)

So, I've been learning all about depending on people from John and Henry. The Body of believers that constitute the Church today has a unique role: to be Christ to people. This involves extending grace, supporting others, accepting them no matter what, but loving them enough not to let them stay that way.

To quote John and Henry exacting, "Biblical growth is designed to include other people as God's instruments. To be truly biblical as well as truly effective, the growth process must include the Body of Christ. Without the Body, the process is neither totally Biblical nor orthodox."

That's what New City is seeking to be when we talk about connecting with God's people in search of transformation. Something beautiful happens when you confess sin aloud to your friends and peers. When you're able to be honest with yourself about your struggles and honest with others, and when they respond with love and grace, you are able to experience it yourself. And that starts to bring about lasting change.

There's a lot more to discuss and think about in the realm of spiritual and personal growth than I'm covering here.

My goal in this is to show you that the picture of pulling yourself up by your bootstraps implies that you're going to lift yourself off the ground by your own effort. It won't work. You can try and try and try, but you probably won't have long-term progress, or grow like you will if you are able to rely on others to walk alongside you.