for all my single ladies

Just friends. Oh, what a great label ((sarcasm)). I don't know any woman who hasn't had at least one friendship in which either she or the guy was hoping for more than just friends. I'll be honest. When this happens to me, I tend to blame it on the guy.

Boundless.org, a ministry of Focus on the Family, has tons of articles on dating, relationships and marriage, among many other topics like college, singleness, time, money and sex. I've been ready a series on biblical dating and happened upon an article about being 'just friends.'

Author Scott Croft has this to say about deep emotional commitments between Christians (or non-Christians) of the opposite sex:

"By offering a taste of the companionship and interactions that make marriage so satisfying, with none of the accompanying commitments or responsibilities entailed in marriage, intimate friendships discourage the pursuit of the grown-up, God-intended outlet for marital desires — marriage."

Just a quick shout-out to my single friends here. Regardless of whose 'fault' it is when two people are too emotionally invested, both sides are called to be responsible for appropriate levels of emotional and physical involvement.

How would your future husband feel if he knew you were emotionally invested in one of your guy friends? Croft goes on to encourage women who want to get married to think about the way their actions might affect their brothers in Christ. Are we single women satisfying the intermediate needs of our guy friends so they see or feel no particular compulsion to pursue marriage?

But that's not to say single Christian men and women can't be friends at all, and Croft makes that very clear in his article. Claiming biblical backing from I Timothy 5, Croft gives a laundry list of appropriate advice. (Finally! Some practical words for the single segment of the Body of Christ!)

Croft says "Single men and women can and should serve in ministry together, study the word together, and hang out together socially. They should go out together, gather around meals, watch movies. In my view, however, these activities should be done, for the most part, in groups rather than one-on-one. Men can initiate group get-togethers, and so can women. In fact, single brothers and sisters in Christ, like the rest of Christ's body, are positively called to care for one another. Men can (and should) give women rides home rather than have them walk alone at night. Men can come over and move couches. Women can cook a meal for a group of guys in danger of developing scurvy from a near total lack of vegetables. Knock yourselves out."

So, all my single ladies, the body of Christ is a natural place to make friends with Christian men and can often result in two people becoming more than friends down the road. It's not uncommon (or a bad thing!) for a guy to express interest in a girl before they spend a significant amount of time alone...and we certainly don't need to create situations that have a high level of intimacy with a Christian man to lead him to that point.