throw your responsibilities.

the last chapter in battlefield of the mind was about worry -- super good chapter. on a sidenote, i've been reminding myself i need to take the things joyce meyer has to say w/a grain of salt. her most charismatic moments do a good job of reminding me.

the last part of that chapter talked about the popular verse in 1 peter that deals with worry; "cast all your anxiety on him, because he cares for you." i've got a photo in my room of that verse underlined in my bible. 1 peter is one of my favorite books of the Bible, and 5:7 is a solid verse. at vespers, we always close with a quiet song that gives everyone a chance to refocus for the upcoming week. last sunday's song was turn your eyes upon jesus. good stuff. often we do the song 'cares chorus'

I cast all my cares upon you.
I lay all of my burdens down at your feet.
And, anytime that I don't know what to do,
I will cast all my cares upon you.

I used the handy website blueletterbible.org (thanks wendy) to check out the Greek words in the verse from 1 peter. the meaning of care is similar to the word anxiety. the meaning of cast is similar to throw or place.


Don't just cast -- THROW. Hm. Interesting word usage. Joyce had the same idea. I think of walking thru the front door at the end of the day. The first thing I do is throw my bag on the floor, counter, chair, etc. Someplace except my weary shoulder. (Ok, actually the first thing I do is take off my shoes (especially in the winter) because I hate walking around on the wood/carpet with dirty/wet shoes, and then later when you just have socks on, your socks then get dirty/wet).

I like the idea of throwing my cares on God. It sounds sort of wreckless, which probably isn't a good thing. But moreso, it just sounds like the perfect way to releave the things I've been caring.

To make the point, another word choice of Joyce (hehe that rhymes) was to use reponsibilities to describe cares. In my mind, cares and anxieties are pretty much the same thing. But responsibilities ... that's great. There are a lot of things I worry about in my life that I wouldn't think of as cares/anxieties. Thinking of this verse in terms of responsibilities helps me realize that even those things I HAVE to do, my obligations, the things I really don't want to do along with the things I do, can also be cast on God. I'm happy that I can also cast on God the things I really don't want to do, the things I don't care about. Maybe it's not fair or right to say but it's how I feel.

worry/peace

I've been reading Battlefield of the Mind for the past few weeks. Great book, I like it a lot. There's a lot that goes on in my mind, which you probably know if you've read my blog for awhile now. The current chapter I'm on is about worrying. Pretty good chapter for me to read at this point in my life- with graduation comes big decisions, many of which I've already started worrying about. I won't get in to much of the actual advice Joyce Meyer provides to live a life free from worry. One thing she comments on is finding rest in God. I know it's easier for me to be at peace when things are a bit quiter in my life. That's probably true for many people. But the fact that I can have rest even in trying times is very promising. Loosly paraphrased, Meyer writes:

His rest is one that operates in the midst of the storm, not in the absence of one. Jesus did not come to remove all opposition from our lives.

There is no guarentee that life is easy, especially not the Christian life. Two quick thoughts on this: 1-a lot of non-christians don't get that, 2-a lot of new christians don't know yet (or don't understand). I think it's a fundamental principle for a new believer to learn. Probably one they will have to learn on their own.

I forget this- that Jesus isn't just going to take away all my cares and worries. I can cast them on Him, and I should, but how I handle the oppositions in my life is really important. It's a chance for me to have faith that God is working in the situation, no matter the current problems or potential outcomes. it's a chance to give Him glory.

jonnie mic

i like making up nick names for singers, like they're my friends or something-

bethany dillon = b.dill
shawn mcdonald = shawny mac

and now
jon mclaughlin = jonnie mic

here are lyrics to one of his songs-

I can't find my watch
I can't find my wallet
So how in the hell am I supposed to find
The one that I love
The one that I need
Hidden so high
Buried so deep

Somewhere to run
Somewhere to go
And if I ever find her,
How will I know? How will I know?

it's good to know a guy out there is looking for the love of his life. i guess john mayer writes a few good ones, too- love song for no one is a decent one. i'm sure a lot of guys out there are looking, but you just don't hear about it. maybe because there's probably always a woman talking about it.

a call.

The last night of tcx they played some music and flashed some quotes on screen before the speaker. They were the typical inspirational, go-to-the-ends-of-the-earth-with-the-gospel quotes.

And they are great. I could try to expound on them, give you my opinions about them, or arguments supporting them, but i'll just leave you with wise words that cannot be said any better way:

• "And people who do not know the Lord ask why in the world we waste our lives as missionaries. They forget that they too are expending their lives… and when the bubble has burst they will have nothing of eternal significance to show for the years they have wasted." - Nate Saint
• "Had I cared for the comments of people, I should never have been a missionary." - C.T. Studd
• "You can do something other than working with God in His purpose, but it will always be something lesser, and you couldn't come up with something better." - Steve Hawthorne
• "If Jesus Christ be God and died for me, then no sacrifice can be too great for me to make for Him." - C.T. Studd
• "The more obstacles you have, the more opportunities there are for God to do something." - Clarence W. Jones
• "Missions is not the ultimate goal of the church. Worship is. Missions exists because worship doesn't." - John Piper
• "It will not do to say that you have no special call to go to China. With these facts before you and with the command of the Lord Jesus to go and preach the gospel to every creature, you need rather to ascertain whether you have a special call to stay at home." - J. Hudson Taylor

Ok I lied. After reading them again, I do want to highlight this final quote by J. Hudson Taylor. This summer on project, a staff intern challenged the way we think about missions. I honestly didn't know the guy very well at the time, and don't remember everything he said that night. Whether they were his words or he borrowed them from a famous writer, he said this: Don't do missions when God tells you 'yes.' Go until he says 'No.'

Immediately, my paranoid mind says, there's no way I can apply that to my life. If I tell God I'll go until He says No, He will end up calling me to missions for the rest of my life. Paranoid.

But the guy had a point. While this has been in the back of my mind since Brasil, I've actually begun to think about it recently and consider the ways I could 'go' until God says no. I'm expecting that God has a specific plan for me after graduation. I don't know what it is yet. I'm ok with not knowing, probably only because graduation is still 11 months away. So I don't feel this special call on my life right now to do any specific thing after graduation. Will I let that get in the way of being involved in Christian ministry?

a lot

quite a few thoughts flying around in my head right now. i learned a lot of good stuff last week at tcx. God is so faithful in showing me things i need to know about myself. And providing the strength i need to just get through life. it's funny how much last semester sucked, and while this one doesn't look much different on the outside, i know that it will be a lot better. i'm stronger, more determined, and ready to tackle anything that comes my way. even if a lot comes my way.

ironic...

yesterday i blogged about purpose in life.
i was on my way to work today and i almost got hit by a train.
how's that for weird!? it was a pretty scary moment. i've done some stupid things in my life, but lately i've had a lot of those experiences --
mid june- brasil, almost got hit by semi-type-truck
end of sept- home, near car accident with huge tractor
mid dec -near hit by train

i don't know what god's keeping me alive for, but it's gotta be pretty cool.

purpose.

If you looked at my life now now and compared it to what it was in high school, it's 100% more purposeful now. Mostly everyone who knows me really well now didn't know me then, so it's hard for them to see the change that has occured in my life - but, nonetheless, making Christ part of my life, and slowly learning what it means to make my life his, has greatly changed my perspective on a lot of things. And I'll forever be grateful to God for that.

As I look to starting next semester, my final year of college, I can't help but think about the scary crazy adventure that awaits after graduation. The 'Real World!' Who knew one existed? I caught a glimpse this summer after project. And I liked what I saw.

There's a lot I think about concerning my future - lately I've been wondering if I'll be able to keep my mind on that purpose. You can't serve both God and Money, which might be one of my biggest struggles. I like to compare and compete with others. I care about material things. I always want the best, newest thing out there. I don't ever get it because I realize (luckily before I actually get to the point of buying it) that I don't need it, and really don't want it. Anyway - I just don't want to get corrupted. The business world isn't normally one for befriending others. People in it aren't there to help each other or their fellow man. Am I ready for this?