Well it's been awhile to say the least. Life has been so flippin' hectic these past few weeks. I'm not even going to get into it.

Lately my time in the word has been next to nothing. Here and there I'll get a bit of encouragement from church or Bible study. But I've been realizing hardcore that those things are suppliments to my spiritual growth; If I don't have solid time w/God at least every other day, I won't grow. Actually, I've found myself backslidding into habits that I once thought I could never overcome. I did overcome them after time. And then I fell back into them because I didn't have adequate fellowship this summer, or time in the word or a prayer life at all. I hate that I have to learn the power of God's Word in my life the wrong way- by leaving it out of my life.

Today was a good day, the first in awhile. I have amazing friends who seek after the Lord and are always encouraging and challenging me in my faith. I don't often hang around non-Christians, but when I do, I tend to realize again how lucky I am I've found the source of ultimate joy, love, peace, hope and forgiveness.

Last night was Vespers. Always a highlight of the week; usually it's the best part. Last night was no different. And after a crappy weekend, it was the thing I needed. I went into practice very mad, almost to the point of tears, pretty much wanting to throw a pitty-party for myself. Instead I was able to focus on the words that were sung. I took them to heart. And it made a huge difference.

Tonight I was on the way home, flipping radio channels in search of something good. I often listen to the radio a lot more when I have a MCOM radio class- last semester I had Audio Production, and this semester, Broadcast News, of which radio news is a part. I digress. I settled on LIFE 96.5 FM, a station I would be more inclined to make fun of than listen to.

But they had this guy talking about making Christ the number one thing in your life, and it's something I have been trying to do for the past few weeks. Last week I finally understood that I can't get everything done in a day that I would like to, so I need to just give up my day to the Lord and do what He wants me to.

More on this later, I'm sure, as I forget this and try to put things that I think are 'urgent' ahead of those that are actually important.

day one.

My first day of class today, and it went pretty well. I have some decent prof's that should keep me awake during class, and interesting textbooks that will definitely keep me occupied on weekends. I'm managing a consignment store in downtown vermillion as a part of SIFE with a few other undergrads. I'm excited for the challenege; our advisor called it a make or break year for Charlie's Closet. It's my intention to make it- and hopefully do better than just breaking even, but we'll see. The first Cru meeting is tomorrow and I've got some great help that is ready for another year to begin. More to come this weekend.

Fall.

I'm pretty pumped for beginning another year at USD, especially with Crusade. Just got off two days full of vision casting/logistical planning/time in the word/sweet fellowship with leadership team and much more. I can't wait to see what God's going to do at the U. From 9/1 to 10/10 we are focusing specifically on the college students and campuses of the world. USD has decided to have one leadership team member fast each day of the 40 days. I've never fasted before and I'm pretty excited to trust God with how this all is going to work. Another challenge is how many conversations we are trusting God to initiate over 40 days. The talk is 250 for USD. This is huge. We have 11 student leaders and an even smaller Servant Team, so we are mega-hard-core trusting God to give us opportunities, boldness, and time to do this. Finally, another challenge is funding. We have something like $0 except for what the students pledged to give last year. Lately God has given me a heart for helping others partner with USD Crusade in reaching our college students. This might mean others in Vermillion, at Hillside, even possibly at my home church. That's a post for another day.

Basically, I'm pumped. It's encouraging that He's given me several things over the course of this summer to help me get a lot accomplished this year: 1- a great job in which I can earn enough money to cover my needs without having to work all the time. 2- specific skills in ministry on campus, especially in sharing my faith. 3- a sincere desire to share my faith. first time ever, really. 4- the ability to step away from my projects and train others to lead. 5- probably the biggest thing- the Gospel is central to all I do in ministry and life. Even if I'm hanging up posters or walking to class or assembling driveway alarms, the Gospel is important in each situation.

My biggest concern is having the time I need to get everything done while having a flourishing walk with the Lord. Right away, as I bring this concern to Him, He's showing me that my plans I spend so much time on are sometimes not a part of His plan. That's ok - what He wants me to do, I will do and I can't do much more than that.

18 hours in 4 days.

I went to milwaukee last weekend. It was a pretty great time. Friday night I left from work and stayed the night in Des Moines with Melissa. It was so fun to see her and catch up on life. I almost locked my keys in my car, but I did not.

Saturday I drove to Iowa City and caught up with Trevor (from Brazil) and Nick, his roommate. We got to Milwaukee about 330 and tailgated with about 10 others from both Brazil project this summer and last years' NMB project. It poured basically the whole time. We went to the Brewers/Reds baseball game, which was inside (luckily). Afterward we hung out at Starbucks and talked a little Brazil project 'gossip' (it was more like current news and events happening to those we had talked to and those present). Trevor, Nick and I spent the night at Andy's house north of Milwaukee (Mequon).

Sunday morning we headed to Andy's church after sleeping in, ate lunch with Andy and his g/f Molly at a bagel shop and headed out to Racine to visit Grant & Amy. After a few wrong turns/missed exits and forking over several dollars at the crazy Illinois tollways on the Interstate, we got back to IC at 730. It took me two hours to get back to DM.

Monday morning I visited Melissa's old apt. and then left for home. It was nice to be in the driver's seat for the last 3 hour leg of the journey- I could jam to b.dill and matt wertz, and I don't get motion sick while driving, which is awesome. All in all, it was a pretty great weekend. Fun to catch up with Brazil people! I sometimes forget that I spent 6 whole weeks in Sao Paulo...crazy.

I have decided that this weekend I'm staying put-- two weekends' ago I spent 10 hours in 3 days in the car, and last weekend it was 18 hours in 4 days. I love road trips, but am looking forward to staying around the FH this weekend!

paradise to parking lot

I don't think very much about the power of the word of God - sharper than any two-edged sword, etc. I realize it a bit more after not having it in my life for a short period of time, which is too bad. That's basically how I live my life- I never understand something until it doesn't matter anymore; I never appreciate something until it's gone. It's kind of annoying.

Anyway, it was obvious to me when I started reading my Bible that it is powerful and can actually change lives. It began to change mine. The effects of not spending solid time in the word has been evident these past few weeks especially. Couple that with spending a majority of my time alone and with non-christians and I'm back to where I was in high school. Scary.

work stories.

The following are some (paraphrased) funny telephone calls we've received at work the past week:

"I live in Orlando, uh, Florida (ohh, Florida, not Virginia...) and I need a driveway alert system. I have a very long driveway...uh, 240 feet and I need to know when people are coming up it. Well, I guess it's long for us here in the big city but probably not for you, right?"

-man from Orlando (FL)

"Yeah, I have one of your alert systems and it works real well. It's just great. I have the outside part by the driveway and then the thing inside beeps when a car comes up the drive and I love it. I also have the portable receiver that alerts me when I'm working in my garden. Just great. But I think I need another receiver by the pool. I like to know when someone's coming up the drive when I'm swimming because I don't always have a suit on."

-Tennessee-an woman

"Well I just got an alert system about a month ago and had my handyman install it and it worked fine right away. It picked up the cars coming in and out, but then it started going off at odd times. It went off at 11, 12 at night. I thought it was probably a deer, or most likely a bear, but then I got scared when I realized it could have been a car."

-woman from North Carolina

"Your catalogue says if I need help, all it takes is a phone call, so I called you for help. I got my system in March and it's been working great- until today. I brought everything inside with me and I changed the battery and (man walks past transmitter and chimes go off in background). Huh. Would you look at that. (Man walks back past transmitter and chimes go off again). I guess all it takes is a phone call."

-man from Northeast

quote from Josh McDowell.

"What you are as a single person, you will be as a married person, only to a greater degree. Any negative character trait will be intensified in a marriage relationship, because you will feel free to let your guard down -- that person has committed himself to you and you no longer have to worry about scaring him off."

For awhile now I have been believing this crazy lie that my life is going to all of a sudden be perfect when I meet the man I'm supposed to spend the rest of my life with - that I won't ever struggle with some of the things I struggle with now. Which is pretty crazy because some things- like loneliness for example- I'll still feel that after I'm married for sure, but maybe in different ways. Anyway, this is just a good few sentences to keep in mind.