theology.

The last few days I've really been missing a few people and things in my life- one being involvement in leading worship in a corporate setting. Leading worship is one time when I can always, always count on the presence of God in my life. Without fail, I always feel it, despite my nerves or my focus on the music.

I was getting ready for a social gathering tonight with a few friends when I started thinking about this, and Sunday morning worship at my church. As I combed my hair, I started praying for the Spirit to move through the congregation in a new way. I prayed that hearts would be surrendered before God, and those in attendance would be able to focus on Christ and not the feeling they may get from worship.

I don't usually pray days before I help lead a worship service, but for some reason I started to. I thanked God for worship, and other things in my life that I love. Then I started thinking about His mercy, and His grace, and I found myself thanking Him that I can't earn my way to Him. And I thought, I don't know that ever I've thanked Him for it that out of a theological understanding of it...if that makes any sense. A system in which I would have to earn God's love for me makes no sense- there isn't any way I could ever do enough for Him that would make me worthy of His love.

I've never been very "theological." I don't typically think the way others do, especially in talking about theological concepts. But lately I've thoroughly enjoyed digging into God's Word and truly understanding some tough concepts in Scripture. I love it when theology comes up in a conversation with God. And I love making it a bigger part of my life.