worship.

I took a test on the badlands summer project that evaluated the different ways I connect with God. The highest score was worship. I've always liked music, and I had just learned how to play guitar that year, but worship being the top on the list was a little surprising to me.

Over the last few years I've had the chance to participate in and lead in many worship bands comprised of different people, with different personalities and leadership styles. I've thought about worship a lot in the last couple weeks, mainly because I purposely didn't bring my guitar down to Florida with me. Aside from all I need to learn about Crusade, theology, the Bible and support raising, I'm expecting to learn a lot about myself while here. I think I'm a pretty self-aware person, but I'd like to know myself better.

So, one of these ways is to consider my heart and passion for worship. Why do I love playing guitar and singing, and music in general? Why do I like to lead others in music? Why is it that I feel closest to God through worship? I haven't been able to connect with God as sincerely during worship here at training. Why is that? I don't want to fall into the habit of critiquing worship bands. (Though it's already a struggle! and I don't even know much at all about music and leading bands!) How can I prepare my heart and mind to connect with God in worship when I don't particularly like the style? It's not my place to judge the singers or musicians (or their hair, or clothes...small glimpse into my shallowness).

A bible study I'm in back home went through a book called "Crazy Love" last fall. It was written by Francis Chan, pastor of Cornerstone Church in Simi Valley, CA. I could tangent into the greatness of the book right now but I won't. His views on life and surrender were so fresh and true to me. I looked him up online and since then I've been listening to some podcasts from him, and his church members, who've preached sermons there. Point of this information: one recent sermon was about worship. The speaker was the church's worship leader, who defined worship as choosing to authentically respond to the person and character of God. His main points were:

• A Choice
  -we have the decision to make: will we connect with God or will we stand in a worship service, with the appearance that we care while our hearts are not engaged?
  -theological understanding and practical application meet here


• Authenticity
  -God knows the heart
  -Raising hands and clapping doesn't necessarily have anything to do with the condition of someone's heart (he was saying this from the perspective of leading worship)


• Response
  -The more we know God, the better we will be able to respond.
  -Worship is always the response of seeing God.
  -We mirror what we worship. If your wedding is all you talk about, is it becoming an idol? If every conversation you are in turns back to your new laptop you just bought, are you possibly worshipping that? (I hope that makes sense; Obviously a new bride or engaged woman is going to talk about her wedding a lot).

[The post about heaven relates to this one - the thought of worship reminded me about worshipping in heaven, hence the post about it. So read that one, too, if you feel like it :]