Why do I do things I don't want to do?

Do you ever do something you don't want to do only because you know when it's done you'll feel so good it's over?

We all do things that we don't necessarily want to do. We do them because it's good for us. The benefit, over the long-run, will be worth it. I'd love to eat pizza every day, and watch tv instead of going on a run, but I know that eating healthy foods and exercising is good in the long-run.

But I want to take this subject deeper. Do you ever do something that you really, really don't want to do- something you suffer through- because you think you have to?

Growing up, I could only get away with skipping church if I was sick. I'm talking running a fever or throwing up- there had to be some proof you weren't faking it. You maybe had a similar experience as a kid.

I frequently felt a sense of pride after I made it through another Sunday morning. I gave up an hour of my time for Sunday School class, and an hour for the church service. I read the liturgy, sang the hymns, stood up and sat down at appropriate times.

I felt as though I was suffering for good reason - that I needed to do the appropriate religious ritual to make things right with God. I felt as though the only way to do that was to suffer through a Sunday service.

We're all on a journey, to God or away from him. Looking back, I can see that I engaged in religious activity (church) to try to move towards God. I wasn't sure what else to do, it just seemed natural.

It's kind of sad that I thought this "suffering" for two hours a week would be adequate enough to appease the God of the universe. There's a problem with that logic. If doing good things gets you to Heaven, how many good things do you have to do? Do you just do more good than bad, and that's it? How do you ever know how much is enough?

The solution is both simple and deep. To make God happy with me, I'd have to live a perfect life. That's the standard. That's the only way. So we know the solution, but we can't get there. Even on my best days, I'm nowhere near perfect.

Jesus was perfect. Because he came into this world as a human, and lived a perfect life, he's the solution to the problem of not being able to earn my way to God. I don't have to rely on my own religious activities; I can't rely on them, because they won't hold up. I won't be going to heaven because I read my Bible or go to church or tithe. I'm going to heaven because I trust that Jesus' perfect life covers my messed up one, and I believe that it's the only solution.

Reminds me of something Paul wrote in the book of Philippians: "I no longer count on my own righteousness through obeying the law; rather, I become righteous through faith in Christ. God’s way of making us right with himself depends on faith."

Another version states it this way: "I could not make myself acceptable to God by obeying the law. God accepted me simply because of my faith in Christ."

Ruminating

Tonight was my first night back to my Perspectives class after a 3 week hiatus. The topic was poverty. We talked about a variety of things: what's the real problem, what's the real solution, how does eradicating poverty involve the Gospel, how should we involve ourselves?

I really enjoyed the lesson tonight, even though it was a mix of devastating facts and stories, and discussion on how we often hurt more than we help. I found myself very interested in this topic. On the way home I realized I think I was so interested because much of the night was spent talking about strategy and economics, and how they are involved in developing potential solutions to a problem that is at times hard to define and understand.

I want to ruminate (is that the right word?) on some things before I post more- but I do have to mention that one of the examples tonight that the speaker used to showcase helping people help themselves is the concept of micro financing. I thought it was a brilliant concept, one I hadn't really heard of before but want to learn more about. It took me awhile to find some Christian micro financing organizations, but finally I discovered the website for Hope International. We had a guest speaker at church on Sunday, who talked about this organization at length, as his wife is involved in it (also hoping to write a quick post about the sermon a little later this week).

Speaking of quick posts, this is turning out to be rather lengthy. And I have to get up in 7 hours...so I will sign off!

Paperwork.

I'm amazed at how many forms it takes to send a team of missionaries overseas.

For one student, there are 4 forms from Headquarters and 5-8 donation forms sent throughout the spring. Some projects have visa forms, as well, and I'll need multiple copies of the same form.

The Upper Midwest will send around 157 people overseas this summer. Some quick math tells me that I will handle something like:

628 Headquarter forms
798 Donation Forms
170 Visa Forms

That's 1,596 forms. It's a good thing that 'Input' is one of my strengthsfinder themes.

I wonder what I use more: paperclips or forms?

How My Blog Got Its Name

If you've ever wondered how I came up with the title and tagline of this blog, wonder no more! Today's the day you find out.

It's pretty plain story, actually. A college friend, LL and I were talking about my blog, and how I could make it into a more focused ministry blog. I frequently talk about how much I love cubicles, so the title came together pretty quickly. LL is very familiar with Campus Crusade and our mission, so I was not surprised when she combined the admin side of ministry with the end goal to come up with the tagline. Pretty clever, that LL. I think she enjoys hearing about my trifling matters amidst working on her PhD.

The real question is: do I even use paper clips in my day-to-day job?

Little did LL know, the tagline she dreamed up was perhaps foreshadowing my role in ministry. I wasn't ever 100% sure of what I'd be doing at the Regional Office upon finishing my support, (I wasn't too concerned with the actual job, I knew it would be fabulous).

I mainly use paper clips every day when students send in their donation checks. It's pretty systematic (some would say boring, I suppose) - open the envelope, count the money, scan the checks, scan the form, mail the checks, file the form.

But this monotonous procedure represents a monumental faith step: college students trusting God to provide their finances in a way they probably haven't ever experienced. Knowing that each envelope I open has a story attached keeps me focused on what's important when they fill out the form incorrectly, or miscount their money.

So, the name of the blog is pretty accurate, with one clarification: I'm using the paper clips, in hopes that God will use me in the lives of college students, who will change the world by taking the Gospel everywhere. I just had to shorten it since all that wouldn't fit in the little bar at the top. :)

Webinar Wednesday - Woes & Wins

Today, I hosted a live, 45 minute Webinar over the internet for students that are going on US and International summer projects. A coworker of mine covered the strategy of summer projects, and gave a biblical perspective on raising financial support, and I covered the tools and procedures we use to raise support and process the donations once they are given. (Some staff joined in as well - so cool to think we had people from all over the US meeting together for the same goal, via the internet).

I hosted the first of these webinars about 3 weeks ago, which I was initially really nervous for. That one went flawless. Today was another story! The actual webinar went fine, but there were quite a few little things went wrong along the way- starting before I even got to work.

Last night, we got 4 inches of snow on top of an inch of slush, making the morning commute awful. After spending 15 minutes digging out my car, I managed to put my elbow in the middle of my breakfast while attempting to get into the car. (I ate the breakfast anyway...tasted just fine!)

Because of the roads, the coworker who was supposed to help with the first part of the webinar couldn't make it in, so we had to scramble to get him set up on the program at his house. I had neglected to reserve the big computer TV system I wanted to use, so about 30 minutes before the webinar I had to rethink the setup for the broadcast.

Regardless of the little hiccups along the way, the webinar was a success. It was so fun to 'stand' before a group of nervous students and guide them in the support raising process. When I went to Brazil on project in 2007, we didn't have these great tools and processes; even in the last four years there have been major advances in websites, procedures and tools for students and staff to make the process of raising support and tracking donations much easier. I think it's a great example of leveraging technology to enable us to increase our capacity for sending students around the world.

Pushing past incapable

"If you saw me as I was supposed to be, the contrast between me and the rest of the world would be unbearable."

Do you ever feel like you are incapable of being who you know you can be? That somehow, though no one expects anything from you, you still feel vastly important?

We all need a little push. No matter our fears, our struggles or failures, our hopes and plans and dreams. I get pushed every time I watch this video from my friend Marty, and I hope you do, too.

Researching.

Another week has come and gone- along with it much coffee, office chatter about bacon, and some work on our international missions operations. One of the highlights of my week was researching the country of Uruguay, where we hope to send our very first team of staff for the 2011-2012 school year.

We can fly a team down to Montevideo, Uruguay in about 12 hours. Obtaining 9 month visa's may be a bit more difficult, but an obstacle that we can probably get around.

I can't imagine trying to send missionaries overseas without the Internet, cell phones and airplanes. The dedication of missionaries throughout the course of history truly amazes me. I can't even imagine having to take a ship for 6 months just to get to a location. Parents saying good-bye to their sons and daughters and grand kids, knowing they might never see them again. But, that's not to say it's not hard today, especially when you're talking third-world countries and unreached people groups. Just some random thoughts for the night :)