Imperfections & First Impressions.

Over the last couple months my church has been doing renovations on our new building. It's been really fun to see the building transform into the home of New City Covenant Church. A ton of work has gone into our multiple kids' ministry rooms, our main welcome area that we call the "gathering place," and the kitchen/fellowship hall where we have a meal after every single Sunday service. Things are looking great! There are still some structural things to fix, but really the only main cosmetic thing left to do is the sanctuary.

The thing is, updating the sanctuary was the first item on the to do list, in my mind. I thought it would be the priority because it seems like it's the most important room in our building, and the place where people spend the most time.

A couple weeks ago I had invited a friend to check out New City, and she came today. And if I'm being honest, I felt a little bummed that the sanctuary didn't look nicer. Sure, we just put up new drywall and a gave the place a fresh coat of paint - and it looks really good! - but we still have scuffed floors and beat up pews and hobnail milk glass chandeliers that are so old they're likely worth a few bucks.

Yet, it didn't seem like the imperfections in our worship space mattered to my friend. After the service, she commented on how real we all were. We weren't putting on a show.

Cue the light bulb.

Why do I care so much about the faded carpet and well-worn pews? Three years ago when I started attending my small church plant, we met in a banquet room in a rec center (which also happened to host hockey games each week during our church service). The room was not very aesthetically pleasing, to say the least.

What kept my interest in the church was the people, the preaching and the praise (see what I did there, with the alliteration?) I was able to connect with others in a meaningful way, grow deeper in my faith through sound, biblical preaching, and worship God in a way that made my musical heart very happy.

I didn't care about the cold fluorescent lighting or having to navigate a noisy hockey crowd every week. The community kept me coming back.

Now that we have a building to update and keep up, why should it be any different? I hope we as a church don't buy the lie that we need to appear to have everything together in order for new people to like us. We're so much more than the color we paint our walls or the type of pews we have.

And I hope I don't buy this lie. I almost didn't invite my friend to come check out New City, because I wanted to wait until the church was completely finished. Then I could impress her by showing off our new digs. What's important is not the light fixtures above us or the carpet below us- but the people around us. I hope we continue to be a community of grace and truth, who seeks to love and serve Jesus and those around them.

When we want to know what's next.

In the last month, three friends of mine have gotten married. As much as I joke about going to/standing up in so many wedding...I love seeing my friends wed their amazing fiances. I'm so excited for each of them as they embark on a new chapter in their lives together. I can't wait to see where God leads each couple in the years to come.

I was thinking about one of these wonderful couples the other day, and a thought popped into my head: I wonder when they will have a baby?? I bet they'll get pregnant really quick. In fact I should actually make a bet with a few other people... I think I would win.

I dismissed these thoughts and went about my business. But later that night as I was settling in to sleep, I realized that my flippant thought was actually pretty similar to another flippant thought I often hear others voice, out loud, to my face:

Do you think you'll ever get married?

When I hear this from people, the hair on the back of my neck stands up. I get a little flushed in the face. I start to sweat. Before the person (usually a total stranger, but also sometimes a close friend) can even complete their question, I know where they are heading.
 What I was doing to this friend (in my head) is pretty much exactly what others do to me.

For better or worse, we are always looking for the next big thing. Waiting in anticipation for what's to come. What is it about us that compels us to be constantly thinking of what we don't have, or what might be next, even if it's uncertain? Whether it's pressure from family or the people around us, or society in general- we must always be looking for what's next.

I refuse to treat my married friends this way, bugging them about when they will achieve the "next thing" - whether it's purchasing a house, having a baby or some other major life event.

Sometimes we do this without thinking. Maybe we're trying to fill an awkward silence or just trying to ask someone a more deep question than "How are you?" or "What do you think about this weather we're having?"

Whatever the intent, I refuse to "go there" with my newly married friends.

Excersing (the tiny) part of my right brain.

I'll never forget the day my Mass Comm advisor dropped a semi-huge bomb on me: I accidentally took the wrong class during my Sophomore year of college. Because of this, I would not graduate on time.

I was shocked. Because I was earning two separate bachelor's degrees (a BBA and a BS) I always had to be super on top of my schedule. Fitting in my 160+ credits was a nightmare. It was already going to take me 4.5 years to earn these 2 degrees (which actually isn't bad at all).

But now...a mistake? My adviser showed me the handbook. I had been using an old one to determine my graduation requirements, and I quickly realized that I took Digital Imaging instead of Photo Journalism. Probably not that big of a deal. But, I was stunned. I was always so on top of everything - how did I miss this?

My fabulous adviser ended up pulling some strings and got the Dean to sign off on the Digital Imaging class as a substitute for PhotoJ. Hallelujah. I could graduate on time and not have to stay a whole extra semester for one class.

Looking back on this situation now, I'm SO grateful I took the wrong class. Our professor for Imaging was a legit graphic designer with her own established company and decades of experience. She taught me so much about working with the Adobe Creative Suite- PhotoShop, InDesign, etc. She saw potential in me and really helped me push myself to tap into a creativity I didn't know I had.

I'm no graphic designer, but I would not have the design skills I have now if it wasn't for that scheduling screw up. It's funny how God worked that one out. Now, I love getting to flex my (small) creative muscle, especially in designing some materials for my church. Thought I'd show you a few things here that I've done. I also get to tap into my creativity when writing my monthly newsletter, and I've been known to do a project or two for friends. Enjoy!

Introverts and Extroverts.

I basically know nothing about Susan Cain, but I love her.

Her book "Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can't Stop Talking," now holds a place in my top 5 favorite non-fiction books of all time. 

Several chapters in "Quiet" are devoted to introducing (and then debunking) the myth in our society of an "extrovert ideal" - that in order to be well-liked, successful, or a leader, you must be an extrovert. She defines this ideal as: "the omnipresent belief that the ideal self is gregarious, alpha and comfortable in the spotlight...Introversion, along with its cousins sensitivity, seriousness and shyness- is now a second-class personality trait.

Cain introduces an incredible amount of psychological and medical research in many of her chapters, especially those on the idea of personality and temperament. She closes, appropriately so, with a few chapters about living as an introvert in an extrovert world (and succeeding at it).

At the end of the day, I won't remember the intriguing stories, insightful comments or surprising statistics about anything Cain discusses in her book. But weeks after finishing the book I think about it daily, because it has greatly encouraged me to just be myself. It's given me insight into who I am, and helped me see that I need to be honest with myself about how God has made me. I have to live out who I am, regardless of what the world may think or expect of me. Dare I say, neither introvert nor extrovert is the true ideal - God made them both, made people to be one or the other or a mix of both. And that's good.

If you're an introvert, or dating/married to one, or you have one in your immediate family, or if you don't understand them, (...or even if you think you do)... I suggest checking out "Quiet."

For, or From? [continued]

For the last several days, I've continued to mull over this idea of living life from God, and not just for God (see previous post for more info). A key aspect of this concept is the realization, the fact, the truth, that we are able to live life from God. We, while living imperfect and sinful lives, have access to God, through Jesus. Because of this, He can be present with us. Throughout the last week, as I've been pondering this, I've seen it show up in my daily life small (but meaningful) ways:

First, in a photo that hangs near my bed. I took this in college, and had underlined that famous verse the first time I read it on my own. 
















 
I remember the imprint it left in my brain. But glancing at that photo one night before bed, I read the very last line, which is also the very last line in the book of Matthew:


And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age.


Jesus has just commissioned his disciples to go forth and multiply, but does not leave them until he gives a promise of his presence with them. Forever.

Last Wednesday I was walking downtown and happened to pass someone on the sidewalk talking about Christmas. Lord... NO. I thought to myself. It's not even the end of summer, must we talk about Christmas already?? But I started thinking about why I love the Advent season- not for the gifts or festive Starbucks drinks or even being with family (though all of those are awesome).

I love Advent because it reminds me that God is here, and presence with me. He came to earth, in the form of a tiny little human, and walked among us. He is called "Emmanuel: God with us." I love that advent reminds us of this.

A final reminder of seeking God's presence in daily life happened today- New City Covenant Church marked our first official service in our permanent building today! It is a huge answer to prayer, and over the last few weeks the community has been putting in countless hours sanding, painting, throwing, organizing and building.

My pastor, John, was quick to remind the congregation about our history; for the first four years of our existence, we've built something intangible: a transformational community. While we have enjoyed working on the tangible aspects of our building, the intangible is still most important: God's presence in our community. John told a brief story about a church plant that split up soon after they had purchased a permanent building. The first sign of trouble was an argument over the color and type of color to purchase for the building. Heartbreaking, really. I so appreciate John bringing us back to what's important:  "what really matters is not the glory of our space, but the presence of God in our midst."

For, or From?

CSU has come and gone, and a busy fall is looming ahead. I took some time last week to reflect on the US Cru national staff conference (which is held on the beautiful CSU campus in Ft. Collins, CO (hence the conference nickname)). It was an awesome week, full of things like fun coffee dates with old friends, and challenging seminars from a wide variety of people.

One of my favorite talks was from Skye Jethani, who talked about the pendulum swing from consumerism Christianity to activism Christianity (which I wrote about in my most recent newsletter).

Jethani started out right away citing research that, more than ever before, the current generation treats God like someone we can go to get what we want, and can then discard or ignore when we have what we want. I've heard others describe this as treating God like a cosmic vending machine, taking verses like Jeremiah 29:11 way out of context. We go to God with our lists of requests, pray for blessing, and wait expectantly.

We eventually, hopefully, come to realize this isn't true Christianity. But somehow, the pendulum swings too far other way- into Christian activism. Life becomes about service. The more we serve God, the better our life is, even if it may not seem like it on the outside. But it is, because we sacrifice for others, and God is happy with us and all this good we're doing. We are supposed to wear our "I live for God" attitude on our sleeve- unfortunately, too many wear it literally.

We get involved in missions and service groups and human rights events. These are all great. There's nothing wrong with them. More than ever before, this generation wants to change the world, me included. I grew up on a farm, miles outside our tiny town - yet even as a kid I had this desire to grow up and change the world somehow.

But somehow, life becomes all about service. About "doing" for God. We base our worth on what we produce. How big is your new church plant that you spend lots of time volunteering in? What about your ministry, how is God using you there? What are you investing your time in that will make an impact in eternity??

Over the weekend, one of my facebook friends shared a wonderful post from Proverbs 31 Ministries:

"Sometimes I wonder…what makes my child feel loved? One morning last week I was driving my son, Andrew, to school and asked him, “What makes you feel loved?”
He thought for a minute and the he said, “THIS.”

“This?” I asked him.

“Yea. This. You being with me mom. When you drive me to school and talk to me about my day. And when you tell me that you’re gonna be there when I get home. That makes me feel loved and secure. Thanks mom, bye!” And, he hopped out of the car. As I drove away, I kept thinking – This is love?

You mean I don’t have to go out and buy his favorite toy or take him to a movie? Just being there is love."

Precious. Don't you think that's what God wants, too? He loves when you do nice things for him and for other people, when you seek to invest your life in something that matters and make a difference in this world. But I don't think he wants those things to happen at the expense of your relationship with Him.

I say "you" and "we" a lot in this point, but I actually mean me. As Jethani said in his seminar, "It's possible to be on mission for God, yet never really know Him."

I can so easily structure my day around tangible tasks that are important or significant in ministry... and also easily forget the purpose behind them. I often don't live my life from God, as Jethani says. I live it for God...and even then, it's a struggle. 

What do you think? What does it look like to live life from God, instead of for God?

Summer Friendships.

This week was a big one. I completed my Old Testament Survey class, finished the 5 week church discipleship group I helped lead, and saw all of my summer project students and staff return, (and took 3 trips to the airport in the process).

I feel like I've accomplished quite a bit so far, and summer is only half over! I've been pleasantly surprised with the way things are turning out. Two years ago I was still new to the metro, new to my job, and didn't have many friends yet, so summer was really hard. I was a little apprehensive about being in Minneapolis again: nearly all of my coworkers leave town, non-work friends travel or are more busy than usually. This city of more than a million people can get pretty lonely. Plus, I thrive on having a set routine, so summer just throws me off my game.

One surprising element of my summer has been the great friendships I've made and continued to develop. A major lesson I've been learning this year is to take advantage of the opportunities God puts in front of me, even if they seem a bit scary or are hard to do. This has definitely been playing out in my friendships this year, especially in the last few weeks.

It takes time and effort to build new friendships. It's risky. You have to put yourself out there and you don't know how the other person will respond. You don't know them well enough to know what their likes/dislikes are, or where they draw boundaries on certain things, but learning them is part of the process. You can't go in pushing your own agenda, and you can't have crazy expectations. You are not in control.

Looking back, the timing could not have been more perfect in the development of my relationships this year, and this summer. Very rewarding to take continual steps of faith in this area and see what God will do with my willingness to say yes to the opportunities he puts in my path (disclaimer: this doesn't always go well! I have many of those stories, too!).

You never know how an opportunity will play out until you just jump in and see.