Deep Roots.

Earlier this summer I finished one of the best books I've ever read about being single. Interesting fact: the author was actually involved in Campus Crusade in college but didn't have a real great experience. Which made me even more intrigued by her story.

Anyway, I didn't love the book because of it's writing style (unique and witty) or all of her dramatic stories (there were plenty!). The author consistently shared encouraging insights into the character of God and living the Christian life that she drew from her experiences in relationships (and her lack of relationships, at times).

Below is an example of what I mean- a short excerpt from the book in which the author compares living the Christian life to being a tree:

And you have to sink your roots into Him, after all. You have to find His water underground…only when your roots are drinking from that stream can you grow tall enough and strong enough to reach out into the world and maybe even make a little shade for others. To grow up tall and strong so as to bless the soil of others’ plots of ground – that’s what we’re meant to do. The branch or plant, after all, doesn’t worry so much about “growing” hard or stretching up strong, but sinking the roots down deep into the waters of life. And then, because of how God’s made us, the life and springing upward is a mostly natural consequence of that drinking, sinking, rooting.

If I had a favorite verse, this one from Colossians would be near the top of the list: "Therefore, as you received Christ Jesus the Lord, so walk in him, rooted and built up in him and established in the faith, just as you were taught, abounding in thanksgiving."

That verse felt like the theme of my upperclassmen years in college. Looking back, meditating on this verse propelled me into a search for a deeper relationship with God. I had been feeling distant from God for several months, grown weary of ministry on campus and wasn't growing much emotionally even though I was growing spiritually.

I remember sitting at yet another fall leadership training my senior year (or maybe even super-senior year), and hearing from a speaker that the Gospel was not just for unbelievers, but for believers, too. We needed the Gospel every day. I was floored!! God had been bringing this up in my life for the last year but I didn't really understand until that day. Right away I thought about that verse, about being rooted in Christ each and every day.

While masquerading as a book on singleness, this book taught me a lot about living the life God intends: not striving to grow and do and be externally- but seeking Him wholeheartedly. The Christian life is about letting the growth and good works and character traits we seek come from the love and life we can draw in with roots that grow deep.

Growing up.

My younger brother came to town this week to visit for a few days this week. We took in a bunch of typical Minneapolis sites (Mall of America, the Minneapolis Sculpture Garden, a Twins' game, etc), and also just spent time hanging out by the lake and watching movies.

Aside from the couple years we had to share a bedroom during elementary school, we've always gotten along well. We had some good times as kids, but hanging out now as adults is even more fun. Sometimes growing up is not so bad!

Dreaming life away.

In the first book of the Harry Potter series, Harry is sneaking around his boarding school very late one evening. He stumbles into a deserted corridor, and ends up finding a tall, full-body length mirror in an empty room.

He is immediately intrigued. When he peers into the mirror, he sees his parents (who, if you're unfamiliar with the story, died when he was a young boy). Harry runs back to his dormitory to wake his friend Ron. When Ron peers into the mirror, he sees a very handsome version of himself as Captain of the Quiditch team and head 'boy' at the school.

Later that week, Harry sneaks back into the room. The school's headmaster, Dumbledore, finds Harry gazing the mirror, at a scene that will never come to pass. Dumbledore explains:

As you've figured out by now, this mirror shows the deepest, truest desires of one's heart. The mirror does not give knowledge or truth. Men have wasted away in front of it, even gone mad. Tomorrow it will be moved, and I must ask you not to go looking for it again. It does not do to dwell on dreams and forget to live.

I was so struck by this scene. While I don't have a mirror like Harry, there are influences like family, society and pursuit of the American dream that lure me to dream wistfully about things I don't have, but desperately need. A bigger savings account. A new car. A significant other in my life.

Sometimes it's hard to ignore these things. They certainly aren't bad. But wanting them more than I want anything else isn't good. When I sit down and honestly reflect about my life, I find myself wondering why I waste time like Harry did, staring into that mirror. There's a life to live!

Unlikely Friends

I just finished a great book, Same Kind of Different As Me. The short novel (a true story) links the lives of two people who could not be more different; one is a wealthy art dealer (Ron), one is an uneducated homeless man (Denver). They meet unexpectedly, and neither likes each other, at first.

Ron begins to befriend Denver. About halfway through the book, Denver questions his motives with a very interesting analogy:

"I heard that when white folks go fishing, they do something called 'catch and release.' That really bothers me...when colored folks go fishing, we really proud of what we catch and we take it and show it off to everybody that'll look. Then we eat what we catch...we use it to sustain us. So, it really bothers me that white folks would go to all that trouble to catch a fish, then when they done caught it, just throw it back in the water."

He finishes his monologue with a challenge: "If you is fishin for a friend you just gon catch and release, then I ain't got no desire to be your friend."

Denver isn't afraid to tell it like it is. He doesn't want to be some project that Ron works on to completion and then forgets. He is skeptical that Ron's in it for the long haul, and I can't say that I blame him. Denver doesn't need Ron to give him money or new clothes or any material possessions. He doesn't need Ron to tell him how to live his life. Denver wants someone to love and trust him, a true friend.

Writing that makes this book sound sappy; but this story will give you a real glimpse into how redemption is possible in a broken world.

Cracked.

At the beginning of May we had some pretty bad weather in my neighborhood; funnel clouds and strong winds and several minutes’ worth of golf-ball sized hail. I sat in my living room, watching the weather develop, the lightning crack across the sky; the hail stones pound the trees, the ground...and my car, (which I recently named Sawyer. Props to ES for the idea to name it!).

After the storm passed, I went outside to check out the damage. There were some nice dents on the hood, roof and trunk. I was a bit annoyed, but grateful the damage wasn't worse.

When I got into my car to leave for work the next morning, I noticed a large chip at the top of the windshield and several cracks that had developed. I almost didn't believe my eyes! I had checked it last night and didn't see anything. When I got to work I checked it again, just to be sure.

I have had some bad luck with windshields. In just over 2 years, I've gone through 3 of them. I've never been in an accident, major or minor, never been ticketed, never even been pulled over in my car. But for whatever reason, cracked windshields are my thing.

The weirdest thing is that the glass looks fine on the outside, but on the inside it's very obvious there's a crack.

A few months ago I heard a sermon from a guest speaker at my church about the seven woes in Matthew 23. The first three woes in this passage deal with proper teaching (the Pharisees were pushing people away from Jesus). There’s enough in these first three woes to warrant their own post, which maybe I’ll write someday.

It was the next 3 woes really hit me; those dealing with justice, faith and mercy (throwback to Micah 6:8 - "do justice, love mercy, walk humbly with your God"). These woes deal with our desire to fill our restless hearts with things that don't satisfy. We do a lot, we're busy, but we neglect the most important things in life.

"Woe to you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites! For you tithe...and have neglected the weightier matters of the law: justice and mercy and faithfulness. These you ought to have done, without neglecting the others..." (verse 23)

"Woe to you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites! For you clean the outside of the cup and the plate, but inside they are full of greed and self-indulgence." (verse 25)

"Woe to you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites! For you are like whitewashed tombs, which outwardly appear beautiful, but within are full of dead people’s bones and all uncleanness... outwardly appearing righteous, but within you are full of hypocrisy and lawlessness." (verse 27-28)

After every "woe" in this passage, my heart follows with it's own quiet "whoa."

The Pharisees were fantastic at keeping their windshields polished (but neglected the cracks on the inside). They were passionate and devoted (concerning the wrong things). They did good things (and ignored what was best).

At different times in my life, I've felt similar to the way my windshield looks. As I pondered this analogy on my drive home from work the other day, I was struck by the irony present when considering my windshield history.

The cracks I've experiences in my windshield have occurred during very stressful situations in my life. Last summer, a tree branch cracked my windshield during a storm while I was living at home. I was preparing to move to Minneapolis, even though I wasn't at full financial support, which was stressful, to say the least. The week before my college graduation, amidst finals, adjusting to a new roommate, and deciding whether or not I would join staff, a rock chip turned into a major crack in my windshield on a snowy winter day.

Every time I get in or out of my car, I see that crack. It's been taunting me the last few weeks of work, the most stressful so far this year.

What Jesus is talking about here in Matthew 23 describes exactly how I’ve felt at these moments in my life. I immerse myself in tasks and to-do lists, doing good things, but ignore what’s really going on in my heart.

I could write more about that, the source of my stress, but right now my focus is on the tendency I have to ignore it, push through it, and pretend like things are fine.

We're all cracked in ways that aren't visible on the outside. These imperfections are present no matter how hard we try to hide them. They occur for different reasons. Not dealing with them in healthy ways is like not dealing with a cracked windshield. The longer we wait, the situation becomes worse.

As I think about being cracked, I'm grateful for the Body of Christ. God uses His people to point out the cracks, yes, but God also uses them in significant ways to move me brokenness to redemption.

Minneapolis Half-Marathon

This morning I finished my first half-marathon!! I include 'first' in that sentence because I will definitely be running more. My goals for the race were pretty simple: have fun, do my best and cross that finish line. My final time was 3:04:11...SO close to under 3 hours!)

Besides jogging across the finish line, my favorite moment came at mile 5. After crossing the stone arch bridge, I crested a small hill, and suddenly saw a TON of people, cheering loudly and waving and clapping for the runners ahead of me. The energy in the crowd was so electrifying...I felt like a celebrity! I hadn't stopped at all at that point, and was feeling great, so I blazed through that part of the course.

After the crowd thinned out, we climbed a big hill, and I realized at the top that I wasn't sure what mile we were on. I had been keeping track of my time in my head after hitting each mile mark, so it was pretty odd that I missed one. After climbing another hill, I was pleasantly surprised to see a huge blue mile marker up ahead - mile 7!

Amidst the craziness of the crows, I had totally missed mile marker 6. True confessions: I'd never ran more than 6 miles in my training, so I had unknowingly crossed into uncharted territory. I'm so glad I missed the mark for mile 6, because I probably would have psyched myself out and slowed down. It was a good lesson for me - sometimes you don't have to be so focused on the next milestone and what's up ahead...enjoy your journey!

Throughout the race there were people lounging on the sidelines, cheering on their friends- and strangers, too. I didn't have anyone coming to watch so I wasn't expecting many rousing cheers. But right after mile 8, while climbing another hill, I caught the eye of a middle-aged woman standing near a street light. She started clapping as I neared her, then pointed at me and shouted "YOU are an inspiration. KEEP GOING." After I passed her, I glanced around to see if she was really pointing at me, and there was no one around, so I took that as a random act of support. It was another of my favorite moments. Encouragement can come from the strangest places, where you least expect it.

Around mile 9, my right hip flexor started to hurt. I had been having a lot of problems with my right knee during the last two weeks, and it was also starting to get sore. At mile 10 we hit a turnaround, and I slowed considerably due to my hip. At mile 11 I got a packet of hammer gel, which I could barely get open with my teeth (PS - it was disgusting!). By that time my hip flexor was really starting to hurt, and I had slowed to a brisk walk.

In the first 5 miles of the race today I had several bad side aches, but I pushed through them and kept running. It's not a natural thing for me to enter into pain, but I'm glad I did. Another good life lesson. On the flip side, my hip hurt so much that I had to walk most of the final 2 miles. I'm really glad I didn't push myself to run them and risk a more severe injury. It's hard to know sometimes how far to push yourself.

I was more worried about the mental aspect of the race than the physical, especially because I knew I'm be running the race alone. My friend Kerry signed up with me, but she's a speed demon (finished in 2.25 hours!) so we split after the first half mile. I am surprised at how driven I was throughout the race, and how I didn't psych myself out. I love doing things with other people, but it was actually kind of fun to try this on my own. (Though I wasn't truly alone - I had a very random mix of music artists on iphone to keep me company: Zac Brown, TobyMac, Chris Tomlin, Jason Derulo, B.Dill, the Vespers band, Matt Wertz, Sara Bareilles, Linkin Park, Switchfoot, Josh Turner ... and many others!)

Crossing that finish line felt so, so good. Even amidst the sore muscles and tiredness, I felt so good at the end of the race. There's something about entering into something painful, when you usually shy away from it. You come out on the other side and realize you're ok. You might find out you're stronger than you thought, or you might realize you're weaker. But you make it through.