home

yep. i'm home. pretty boring. no offense to the family, tho, they're pretty cool. at least i am catching up on sleep! it kind of bugs me that i take too much on bc right now i am paging through my American Gov't textbook looking for answers to the million questions i have to answer. honestly, tho, if it really bothered me that much i would not have signed up for the class. the list of things i want to accomplish over christmas break is pretty random...

finish the homework for my gov't class
work on my novel
finish Screwtape Letters
start and finish Through Painted Deserts
[i think that's the name...it's by donald miller]
write a few songs

there's probably more but that's all i can think of now.
time to get back to the homework.

change

I did something nice for someone this week, and i can't help but wonder if it's changed them in some way. If it has lifted their spirits, gave them a little more hope in the world, or made their life a little better. It's worth it even if though I'll probably never meet them.


Then, it hits me. I think maybe that person will go help someone else and it will start a random acts of kindness chain. It's a real nice thought. I can dream, right?


But THEN I think about how it affected others around me. Someone that saw the random act of kindness. The person that helped pull it off. My friends that I told what happened. I have no idea if the person I helped will even think anything of it. But I took a chance.

trust

thanks for the quote, lys-

When you come to the edge of all the light you know,
and are about to step off into the darkness of the unknown,
faith is knowing one of two things will happen:
There will be something solid to stand on,
or you will be taught how to fly.

education

While sitting in a boring lecture, have you ever thought "Am I actually learning something that will be useful to you when you graduate and get a job?" Here's a common question I've been asking my whole life: "WHEN am I going to use this stuff I am learning!?" the following paragraphs are two views on education from my micro-econ book. i find the second idea very interesting...probably because I've thought it before!

1- Human Capital Theory of Education
"Education makes workers more productive." according to this view, increasing education levels for all workers would raise all workers' productivity and thereby their wages.

2- Signaling Theory of Education:

"...schooling has no real productivity benefit, but the worker signals his innate productivity to employers by his willingness to spend years at school...action is being taken not for its intrinsic benefit but because the willingness to take that action conveys private information to someone observing it." basically: "Education is correlated with natural ability." according to this view, education does not enhance productivity, so raising all workers' education levels would not affect wages.

Realistically, the answer is between the two. I personally hope for the second one...because then I won't feel bad for not retaining any information from this last semester! haha, just kidding. [sort of!]

more sara groves

yeah....more sara groves. i pretty much love her!

I think we've figured out
this world is bigger than you and I.
We've exhausted our wealth of knowledge
and have no more answers for mankind.

We've had every conversation in the world
about what is right and what has all gone bad,
but have I mentioned to you that this is all I am,
this is all that I have.

I would like to share with you what makes me complete.
I don't claim to have found the Truth,
but I know it has found me.

the only thing that isn't meaningless to
me is Jesus Christ and and way he set me
free. This is all that I have. This is all that I am.

[conversations // sara groves]

sara groves

man alive...i have the most random music phases. currently i cannot get enough of sara groves. i love how her songs are full of lyrics- each song is a story that really makes me think. my all-time favorite is posted below. i love it because God has been showing his faithfulness to me each and every day, it's just amazing! between readin the Purpose-Driven Life and talking things out with friends and what I learn in Bible Study, it's all soooo relevant to where I am at. here's my favorite.

Morning by morning I wake up to find
the power and comfort of God's hand in mine.
Season by season I watch him amazed, in
awe of the mystery of his perfect ways

All I have need of his hand will provide.
He's always been faithful to me

I can't remember a trial or a pain he did
not recycle to bring me gain. I can't
remember one single regret in serving
God only and trusting his hand

This is my anthem, this is my song, the
theme of the stories I've heard for so long.
God has been faithful, he will be again.
His loving compassion, it knows no end.

[he's always been faithful to me // sara groves]

fellowship.

Today I read chapter 18 of the P-D L. Again, it brought a topic that a bunch of us have been talking about right to the surface - fellowship. Most importantly, experiencing authentic fellowship. I LOVE to go deeper than the normal "hey, how are you? how are classes? great, talk to you later." Honestly and humility are so important. A two-way relationship is needed- we must not feel responsible FOR others, but TO others. Share with them and let them share with you. We will also experience sympathy in true fellowship - which hits home for me. I need to be understood and need to have my feelings validated, just like everyone else. When it doesn't happen, I turn to others to validate my feelings, thus bringing me closer to them and farther away from the person I was trying to talk to. Hmm. I have had that feeling a lot in the past and I am finally able to put it into words!

Purpose-Driven Life

haven't had time to write a post in a long time. the other day i was reading another chapter in the purpose driven life. it focused on belonging - basically why being part of a church family is important and necessary to growth and development. Here's a paragraph from chapter 17:

"Biblical fellowship is being committed to each other as we are to Jesus Christ. God expects us to give ouir lives for each other. Many Christians who know John 3:16 are unaware of 1 John 3:16: 'Jesus Christ lais down his life for us. And we ought to lay down our lives for our brothers.' This is the kind of love God expects you to show other believers- a willing ness to love them the same way Jesus loves you."

Pretty cool that I wrote about that the last time on here and I read it a few weeks later in a book. :]

Sacrifice

"For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life." ~John 3:16
"This is how we know what love is: Jesus Christ laid down his life for us. And we ought to lay down our lives for our brothers." ~1 John 3:16

John 3:16. Probably the most popular Bible verse in the world. How cool is it that 1 John 3:16 is like the action, or the second part of that verse. Both books were written (no surprise here) by the apostle John. My Bible commentary says that at the time 1 John was written, Christianity had been around for more than a generation. Their main problem then was declining commitment of believers. I think that's relavant to today's world- a lot of people know that God loves them so much he gave them his Son, so if they believe in Jesus they will find salvation. But that verse is out there so much I think people lose it's meaning. 1 John 3:16 even helps me understand John 3:16 better. Yes, God loved the world- and this love is that Jesus laid down his life. Loving our brothers is sacrifice.

Getting Older

So ... I knew this year I would be gaining more responsibility, but I didn't know it would be this much. the Lord only knows what's in store for me this year. I can't help but think that he's handing out more and more for me to deal w/to prepare me for something big. Semi-scary for me to think that I am growing up! haha.

Good Music

Mmmk this song has been stuck in my head for the past
4 days so maybe posting the lyrics on my blog will help!!

What if the armies of the Lord
Picked up and dusted off their swords
Vowed to set the captives free
And not let Satan have one more

What if the church, for Heaven's sake
Finally stepped up to the plate
Took a stand upon God's promise
And stormed Hell's rusty gates

What if His people prayed
And those who bear His name
Would humbly seek His face
And turn from their own way

And what would happen if we prayed
For those raised up to lead the way
Then maybe kids in school could pray
And unborn children see light of day

What if the life that we pursue
Came from a hunger for the truth
What if the family turned to Jesus
Stopped asking Oprah what to do


[Casting Crowns/What If His People Prayed]

Trust

Fear of rejection...lack of motivation...unsureness of the maturity of the person I'm speaking to...why is it easier for me to write about my faith in Christ than to tell it to others? maybe because I like writing better than talking, haha. No...I like to talk, too. My problem is, I need to stop trying to figure out what to say before I talk to someone, and just trust in the Spirit to lead me.

faithful

I'm reading the purpose-driven life right now, and in it I am finding the motivation that I just didn't have a month ago. Even though I already know a lot of the info in it, it's presented in such a way that is easy to think about throughout the day, long after I read a chapter. I love how God knows everything I need, exactly when I need it.

Brought Back

Usually, one small thing doesn't get to me. A combination of a few bad things does. Lack of sleep, bad news, a stressful week of classes, a weekend of duty and other situations all at once tend to way me down. These past two weeks had been more busy and stressful than any of my college career. Didn't feel like spending time w/God, even though I wanted to WANT to, I just didn't.

I did not like being in a crabby mood for a week, but I was. I did not like not reading my Bible, but I couldn't help it. Little did I know, God used this weekend's events to bring me out of my low point. The three day weekend was about the sweetest part. I thought duty on friday night would be horrible, but- while I stayed up 23 hrs in a row until 7am, I got to spend 10 rockin' hours with my awesome staff. It was seriously really sweet. Sunday I was so tired I didn't wake up for church, especially since my alarm didn't go off. I think that's the first time since attending Hillside in verm-town that I was not upset for missing church. At home I didn't really care, and it was so nice to wake up at 12pm after a good 10 hrs of sleep.

And tonight...I mean, what can top off an afternoon/evening of movies and guitar playing and worship!? Nothing. I am so thankful that I feel I have a purpose once again and that I'm not wandering around aimlessly, concerned with the ways of the world instead of what's really important. Thanks, Jesus.

slacker

SO...I kind of promised I would write in this at LEAST once a week...so here's my post for this week. Yay. I'm tired after being on duty all weekend. We ordered pizza last night at 2am, got to bed at 3, church at 1030am...homework...VIKINGS GAME! :] CA Class...studying for acct quiz...bed. I love my bed.

I AM

I just want to say that TCX 05 is going to be AMAZING. God is going to use it in such a huge way- this is going to change so many lives. I cannot wait for this conference. 95 more days until TCX 05!!! :D

This is my name forever ~Exodus 3:15

ignorance & knowledge

I don't know as much as I should.

When I began the L-O-N-G journey of finding out who God really is and why Jesus seemed to be so important to everyone, I knew nothing. I thought I was such a hotshot in high school- but college immediately humbled me. Even in my faith in high school I thought I was all 'high and mighty...' until I realized I didn't know jack about Jesus. Talk about ignorance.

Every once in awhile I slip into the habit of thinking I am that ignorant again. I am so thankful that God has met me where I am and has opened my eyes to the Truth. When I think back on the past few years and even just the past year at USD, I have grown imMENSEly. But here comes that thought again that I really don't know that much about Jesus and the Bible. I really felt that attending Hillside's rockin' summer Bible Study- but once I got over it and dug into God's Word my eyes were opened even more. I have learned so much from those long Bible studies. But I can never know everything. There will always be a new topic to learn about, a new Bible verse or story or person that I know very little about.

And that's ok.

"Jesus did many other things as well. If every one of them were written down, I suppose that even the whole world would not have room for the books that would be written." -John 21:25

listen

sometimes I catch myself looking for 'signs' that I should or should not do something...clues that will help me make decisions. well, one of the best signs we get is from our own bodies. I hate being sick. I really don't like not feeling 'normal.' But I know this is a warning that I need to spend my time wisely and take more time to relax. sometimes the answer comes to us before we know we need to look for one.

direction

God is sovereign (psalm 68:20 ... one of numerous references). When I pray, I often ask God to reveal His will to me about certain situations. I think it's so ironic that so often I seek to know God's will and I just flat out ask Him. To be honest, many times I don't think about it after I pray it and I seldom think about the answer I hear. why do we pray for His will instead of according to His will? When we pray according to His will, He will honor us and give us what He knows we need right now.

"This is the confidence we have in approaching God: that if we ask anything according to his will, he hears us. And if we know that he hears us—whatever we ask—we know that we have what we asked of him."
-1 John 5:14-15

In Me

How crazy would it have been to be alive when Jesus was? To be able to eat with him, talk with him, listen to him preach the Gospel for all to understand and believe? Imagine being on the boat when Jesus calmed the storm, healed a paralyzed man, fed the 5,000 ... and then the 4,000 ... and then walked on water.

I can picture it in my mind, but I can't really know or remotely feel what it would have been like walking side by side with the living Son of God. It was have been truly awesome to be with Jesus while he was here on earth.

But don't be dismayed. He was physically with Peter when they walked on water. But Jesus is even closer to you- if you have received him, he LIVES in you. You can't get much closer than that.

Where were you last night when the party was on?
Where were you when we all went down to the bar?
It seems you have changed from us all. It seems you have changed.
You want to know, the differences between us-
You want to know, why these things have changed?
You've got to know the One who lives in me-He lives in me, in me.

[kutless - in me]

price already paid

"Imagine that someone purchased an appliance for you and also paid for a warranty to take care of any repairs. Imagine that at some point the appliance breaks down and is in need of repair. You don't know about the warranty, so you forgo the use of your appliance because you can't afford the repair. Then imagine the giver's despair when she discovers that you have not accessed the provision she had already paid for. Think of her sorrow at knowing that you have scraped by when she already paid the price that would guarantee you exactly what you needed."
[excerpt from When You Hurt and When He Heals - thanks melissa :) ]

"He who did not spare his own Son, but gave him up for us all—how will he not also, along with him, graciously give us all things?" -Romans 8:32

"And you also were included in Christ when you heard the word of truth, the gospel of your salvation. Having believed, you were marked in him with a seal, the promised Holy Spirit." -Ephesians 1:13

how blessed are we

I'm sitting here tonight, watching a dateline special on the aftermath of hurricane Katrina and the people that have been affected by it. I'm sure you've seen a lot of news coverage about it, heard the stories, seen the horrible pictures of houses completely under water, people stranded with no home to speak of and no food to eat. A two year old child separated from his mother, and familes who wait hours in line for gas - sometimes having to push their cars to the station. Even college students who moved into their dorms, then were told to go home.

Personally, I will pay $2.75 for a gallon of gas, even 3 bucks if it gets that high. If I have to buy gas, it means I have money to pay for it. It means I have an empty tank because I've driven friends to church and gone home to see family. It means I have friends and family to see and I know where they are. It means I have my own car to drive wherever I want, and that I have somewhere to go.

There is so much to be thankful for, I feel so blessed that I simply have a great family, wonderful friends and a deep faith in a God that I love. A God that I know will stand by those who call on his name. Although this world is so broken, stay rooted in the fact that this world is not what we live for. It my prayer that God will reveal to you all the blessings he has bestowed upon you, and that you may rest in the security he has promised to his children.

here and gone

another year has started, another summer passed. If I have one bad habit worse than the others (besides being obsessive compulsive and an annoying pacer) I am constantly thinking of the future. When I am sitting in class I often plan my afternoon. As far as classes are concerned, I already have as much of my college career planned as I possibly can. And I can't help but wonder what the future will hold after graduation. Mission trip overseas? Grad school at the Udot? There are many more possibilities that I can't wait to discover.

lifetime learning

Isn't it great that you can learn something when you least expect it? It might be just a person's change of actions, a sudden seriousness or kindness that helps you realize this person is not who they appeared to be. I think we need to be aware that something can be learned from every one of our experiences on this earth.

walk the walk

"It gave me great joy to have some brothers come and tell about your faithfulness to the truth and how you continue to walk in the truth. I have no greater joy than to hear that my children are walking in the truth. Dear friend, you are faithful in what you are doing for the brothers, even though they are strangers to you. They have told the church about your love. You will do well to send them on their way in a manner worthy of God."
- 3 John 3-6

How great will it be to see lives being changed by God right before us this year? And I say will, as I know it will happen. After this year, some of the students we are trying to reach will transfer, some may drop out, some may hate us, some may be our best friends. The best thing we can do for them is to teach them who God is, and show them what He has done in our lives. I want to send them on their way, whether it be across campus or someday across the world, in a way that glorifies God in every way possible.

gotta love music

ok here is my list of the songs of the year. (yes, i am this bored)

right here - jeremy camp (Lifelight 04)
all I need - shawn mcdonald (concert in Omaha)
dare you to move - switchfoot (TCX 04)
blessed be your name - (church, cru, the vine, we heard this everywhere) (serveski 04)
as the deer - joy playing on the piano (prayer meetings) :]
take my hand - shawn mcdonald - why not another Shawny Mac song?

a simple plea

holy fire
burn away
my desire
for anything
that is not of you
and is of me-
I want more of you,
and less of me.

jeremy camp - empty me

He is building a palace

"I find I must borrow yet another parable from George MacDonald. Imagine yourself as a living house. God comes to rebuild that house. At first, perhaps, you can understand what He is doing. He is getting the drains right and stopping the leaks in the roof and so on: you knew that those jobs needed doing and so you are not surprised. But presently he starts knocking the house about in a way that hurts abominably and does not seem to make sense. What on earth is He up to? The explanation is that He is building quite a different wing here, putting on an extra floor there, running up towers, making courtyards. You thought you were going to be made into a decent little cootage: but He is building a palace. He intends to come and live in it Himself."

(CS Lewis - Mere Christianity)

From Pakistan to the US

Today melissa and I went to Club 31 at The Living Center in Le Mars. The guest speaker was raised in Pakistan, a 98% Muslim country today. She basically talked about her childhood and some of the persecution she encountered as a Christian in Pakistan. Her grandfather became a Christian from missionaries stationed in their country. How cool is that?? She also talked about the difference in the Koran and the Bible, which was interesting as well. I learned so much- I am definetly interested in learning about the Muslim faith and what they believe. She also stated that Jesus was the only prophet to ever say "Love thine enemies." also very cool.

dragging on

"When I lie down, I think, 'How long before I get up? The night drags on, and I toss till dawn." -Job 7:4

(granted, I'm not going through a trial like Job whatsoever) but sometimes I feel like the days and nights drag on forever. can this summer move any slower? actually, it probably could. i am kind of tired of it. i know, you might think it's weird, but i don't care. i am so excited for the fall, and i feel in a rut right now. i am so close to finishing my classes i just need to pull it together and get them done. hm. i think what i'm really missing is a hectic schedule. working only 20 hrs/week has been nice but it's left me with extra time and barely any cash. i'm definetly ready for a full class load and 5 million other things to do.

I'm an egg.

Don't worry, you're an egg, too. In fact, in the great mind of C.S. Lewis, we are all eggs.

"And, you cannot go on indefinately being just an ordinary, decent egg. We must be hatched or go bad."

"The Christian way is different: harder and easier. Christ says, 'Give Me All. I don't want so much of your time and so much of your money and so much of your work: I Want You. I have not come to torment your natural self, but to kill it.' 'I will give you a new self instead. In fact, I will give you Myself: my own will shall become yours.' "

I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me. The life I live in the body, I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me. -Galations 2:20

Either you are an egg that is going to go bad (or has already gone bad), or you have given yourself up and have become hatched into a new creation in Christ. And that, folks, is a hard decision to make. It is very hard to give it up. But - "The cowardly thing to do is also the most dangerous thing." It's easy to back out of this 'giving everything up' business. But backing out, ignoring Christ, is the most dangerous thing a human being can ever do.

The sad thing is, I didn't realize I was doing it. I have been surrounded by wonderful people for the first 18.5 years of my life, but then I came to college. And I saw a group of people that were different than every one else I had ever met. This group was truly different, and it didn't take me too long to find out why. They were trying to live as Christ calls us to live. At first I wanted so desperately to be a part of that group that I did the same things they did, and acted as they did.

After awhile, I decided I was doing those things for the wrong motives. I took a look at myself. I took a look at my Bible. And I prayed that God would change me into the person he wanted me to be. The person he created me to be. God calls us to live a different life. To live a moral, righteous life. A life that is possible by accepting and having faith in his awesome gift of grace.

I'll say it again: either you are an egg that is going to go bad, or you have given yourself up and have become hatched into a new creation in Christ. There IS no middle ground. I used to think that because I went to church, participated in youth group events and lived a pretty decent life, I was ok. I didn't know that it was all or nothing. I didn't understand that inside I really wanted to give myself up. And this doesn't mean giving up, it means giving up my own selfish desires.

Handing it all over to Christ - it's terrible, almost impossible. "But it is far easier than what we are trying to do instead." We want "to keep personal happiness as our great aim in life and yet at the same time be 'good.' "

We try to keep "personal happiness as our great aim" - this is true. But, a person can be more joyful when they accept Christ and all that he has to offer them than when they are trying to make themself happy. This world is not perfect. Sometimes, it sucks. But even during the bad times, I can still be joyful that the Lord is here with me and wants the best for me. Even when bad things happen, I can have faith that they have happened for a reason that I may not understand.

"'In fact, I will give you Myself: my own will shall become yours.' " Giving up our wants and desires and seeking God's will is so important, I can't stress it enough. By living for Christ on this earth, I know that I can live forever in the kingdom of heaven. "He offers everything for nothing. The whole Christian life consists in accepting that very remarkable offer."


(the quotes in this text are from Mere Christianity by CS Lewis, which I recommend to everyone)

content

Tonight I feel very content.
Some things may not be certain,
Some things may not be known.
But here I sit and thank my Maker,
Whose love He has so greatly shown.
I am by no means rich,
I am not wise or perfect or strong.
But here I am in my Savior's arms-
He will keep me from all harm.
I have never been sure of
anything in my life until
the moment I knew I needed You.
True, I have a lot to love, to see, to do,
but my truest devotion remains to You.

blah

not an interesting enough day for a creative title. ahhh. another day, another dollar at the continuing ed. building on campus. Actually the whole building was out for a staff retreat today so I work a 9 hr day; not too bad but I am tired from getting up at 630am. Only bad thing was that I couldn't go to fast track for campus crusade, but my good ol' roommate melissa stepped in for me. I am getting even more excited for this fall each time I meet new freshmen. Big things are going to happen this year.

look out 2nd burgess

Well, it's (FINALLY) official: I will be a CA on 2nd floor in Burgess Hall for the 05-06 school year (unless they let me go for being too mean to students. ha, yeah right). AND you want to know the best part? of course you do: my dear roommie Joy is my Co! This year is going to be awesome.

Sidenote: this opportunity suddenly arose earlier this summer. Originally, Joy and I thought about being CA's, but decided against it for many reasons...well ok, she couldn't bear the thought of not living with me (ha!) No, seriously, we decided against it, but I guess God has other plans for us. I am excited to see what those are. AND lys will be over on 3rd Norton, just 4 floors and a hallway away. :] This is going to be an awesome experience not found anywhere else.

identity

No, i'm not talking mathematical identities here (not with the grade I earned in calc.) I'm talking about individuality; Who are you? What defines you? What's the number one most important thing in your life?

So how do I find this out? I used to have the standard general answer- "I'm me- I'm who I want to be. I am defined by my knowledge and kindness. The number one most important thing in my life...is me."

What's wrong with these answers? Nothing? First, how many times do I say "I?" I despise that letter (there it is again). There is too much focus on ourselves (this issue has already been attended to.) Second, I have been totally humbled the past year. I am not the most intelligent person i know (by far). I am also not the kindest person i know (i knew that all along). Third, it doesn't matter. Someone will always be more intelligent, more kind. I can't believe that I used to let these things define me. I can't believe I used to let success define me. It's easy to do- until you can't find success. What happens when the most important thing in your life is your career, and suddenly you become blind, or deaf, or paralyzed and you are no longer successful at that?

The answers to these questions are really important. Everyone must have at least one main goal or focus in life. If not, may I ask "what are you doing?!?" Even if the goal is to make it through life with no real goals, at least you have a main goal. (PS, that's a pretty bad goal).

Choose wisely. Keep in mind; this main focus should keep you going. It should be the reason you live and you should be willing to die for it. It should be your source of joy.

I think it's sooo cliche when people talk about "finding themselves," but I just have to force myself to focus on the importance of it. Maybe I think it cliche because I've already found myself. I know there will be hard times. I know there will be struggles in the midst of happiness. I also know I don't have to live this life alone. I've found my identity. I know who I am. I know the one most important thing in my life. I know what I live for and what I cherish. I hope you find it, too.

priority

"The race is not to the swift or the battle to the strong, nor does
food come to the wise or wealth to the brilliant or favor to the learned;
but time and chance happen to them all." -Ecclesiastes 9:11

'...time and chance happen to them all.' In essence, we are all the same. We are all here on this earth for a short time. Some of us are here longer than others. Life is a matter of identity (already hit that topic once) and a matter of priority. As my perspective on life and what I am doing with mine was changed last fall, I find myself slipping into a dull pattern of mediocrity. Work, Eat, Study, Sleep. Actually, my life isn't boring by any means, but this monotony has definitely hindered my perspective. It's even started to effect my priorities.

My priorities have been messed up for a long time. They have changed now, and they probably will change little by little, but the basics will always be there; I have a stronger sense of who I am and why I might possibly be here. They will never be fully changed again, no matter how rough life gets.

doubts erased

When my faith finally became my own, my discouragement would sometimes be strong enough to cause me to desire to quit. I would think about ignoring everything I had recently learned, really heavy stuff like the assurance of my salvation, how Jesus is the only way to God, and the fact that a lot of people that think they are Christians ... are really not. I started to think that maybe this "junk" i was learning wasn't actually true. I thought about my ignorant life before I knew these life-changing "truths," and wondered if I could go back to it. It didn't seem so bad at times, just living my life for myself, answering to no one. That's what everyone told me college was about, it seemed to fit. At times, I was very tempted to take everything I had just learned, give it all back and say "I don't want it."

The worst part was, I personally didn't feel guilty for thinking these things. I knew that if I really wanted to "get out," the quicker I did the faster I would forget everything.

What kept me from throwing this away was the fact that I wouldn't just be discarding something important, I'd be throwing away the only thing I needed. The kicker was that God knew I had learned these truths, and rejected Jesus anyway. I had made the one decision everyone must make; follow Jesus with everything you've got or full-out reject him. I knew turning away from that decision was HUGE. It would be the biggest turning point in my life. I couldn't deal with that. How would God feel if I knew I needed Jesus, if I believed I needed him, if I knew deep inside I wanted him, but discarded him like a banana peel?

That moment was when I knew everything would work out: I wasn't thinking of myself, my family, my old or new friends. I was worried that God would be disappointed in me. And that was something I did not ever want.

i.

First of all, there is too much focus on the self. People are constantly concerned with their own thoughts, their own actions, their own misfortunes and their own tough breaks. How many times during one day do we look in a mirror? How many times do we start a sentence with "I?" We even complain if our friends only talk about themselves and don't want to talk about us.

There is more to the letter "i" than just ourselves. Some very important words start with this mischievous letter. How about the word "ignorance" as an example. It's the 'lack of knowledge or education.' Ignorance of some subjects are worse than others: If someone is ignorant of psychofarmicology, no one worries too much. There are a lot of people out there that are ignorant about a general idea they have grown up with, that claim to know what their talking about. Wrong (and sickening).

Indecisiveness is another bad "I" word. There is one thing that should be clear in this world, and that's the answer to the question "Why are we here?" A very commonly asked questions that probably everyone in the world has asked themself at least once in their life. Many of these people also claim to have found the answer. I (there's that darn letter again) think there's only one answer. There's one way. One truth. And if you don't believe in that way, nuts to you. It's never too late to believe in this one truth.

Part of verse 9 in 1 Chronicles chapter 28 reads "If you seek him, he'll make sure you find him, but if you abandon him, he'll leave you for good." Harsh. But fair. All God is asking is that you seek him. If your motives are clear and you truly desire to find him, you are certain to find him. Everyone has to make a decision to seek him or abandon him.

leaving a legacy

There are a few things that everyone wants in life. Basic needs, like love, attention, etc. I think one popular desire has something to do with the fear of death. More specifically, the feeling of wanting to be remembered after you're gone. here's yet another set of lyrics that i love, that deal with this desire.

Nichole Nordeman - Legacy

I don't mind if you've got something nice to say about me
And I enjoy an accolade like the rest
You could take my picture and hang it in a gallery
Of all who's who and so-n-so's
that used to be the best
At such'n'such ... it wouldn't matter much

I won't lie, it feels alright to see your name in lights
We all need an 'Atta boy' or 'Atta girl'
But in the end I'd like to hang my hat on more besides
The temporary trappings of this world

I want to leave a legacy
How will they remember me?
Did I choose to love?
Did I point to You enough to make a mark on things?
I want to leave an offering
A child of mercy and grace who blessed your name unapologetically
And leave that kind of legacy

Not well traveled, not well read, not well-to-do or well bred
Just want to hear instead, "Well Done" good and faithful one...

arms of love

if you've heard it you know it's amazing- perfect if you're having a bad day

kutless / arms of love

I sing a simple song of love / To my Savior, to my Jesus.
I'm grateful for the things You've done,
My loving Savior, my precious Jesus.

My heart is glad that You've called me Your own.
There's no place I'd rather be than

In Your arms of love, / In Your arms of love.
Holding me still, holding me near, / In Your arms of love.

CRU. at the U. front - kristi, dan, matland, miah. 2nd row - jake, sara, rochelle, lys, me. 3rd row - brandon, barry, laura, wendy, joy, katie, dana, maria. back - megan, amygo, julie.

if all the rain drops were lemon drops and gum drops...

puddling jumping.

I don't generally like running around in the rain, but there was a huge storm tonight that produced some great puddles for jumping!

Rainy Nights

I LOVE RAIN. It's so to jump in HUGE puddles and get all wet, especially with great friends like mine.

katie and sara

JOMY! :D

amy, megan, amber, amy, julie, joy

amy squared!

barry, amy, julie and sara

the view from our tents

Camping Trip!

Maybe some of you think it's crazy to go camping when meteorologists forecast lows of 25* but we Coyotes can survive almost any kind of weather ... especially when we have two sleeping bags :P

here are a few pictures from our camping trip in Yankton, SD at Lewis and Clark Park 4/23-4/24.

Tradition

[Volante Article - Issue 4/27/05]
Opening weekend of pheasant or deer hunting season is practically sacred in our country. Teenage boys and grown men, both of whom often insist on sleeping until noon on Saturdays, arise at the crack of dawn to walk around the woods in a 20-degree drizzle. It is an important tradition. And who can forget the activities around the house at Christmas? Activities like cutting down your very own tree, baking cookies with your mom and all the rest of that mushy family stuff is pretty fun and in the spirit of things.

Our society puts a high value on tradition. We all like to participate in activities that are fun and important to us. Even in Verm-town, USA, we have our own little traditions that everyone gets excited about. Ask a USD student what the best week of the year is, and many will say Dakota Days (not counting spring break, of course). With random weekly activities and the football game, D-Days puts excitement in the air.

Yet, it seems that even this campus activity has lost some of its importance. Though I've only witnessed one D-Days week, which was not my favorite week of the year, I bet it used to be different. Have we forgotten what's behind this week of Coyote pride? I think some of us have. The D-Days committee put in a lot of work months in advance. I think we need to appreciate this work and ask ourselves: Is this week about partying or school spirit?

As I sit and watch the local news, I am reminded of yet another tradition that has turned sour. University officials plan to meet with Strollers' leaders to determine the show's fate. I can see why many students involved are upset. Strollers is an 82-year-old tradition. But what's the point? Another popular activity on campus seems to have lost some of its meaning.

Tradition becomes so important that we often forget what's behind it. I think this could be due to the fact that we like the feeling of comfort it gives us. Tradition gives us security because we know what to expect. How often have people gone to church against their personal wishes because they knew it was "right?" Is this another activity that we are just participating in because of the sense of security involved? Do we attend church because we feel guilty, or because we really, truly want to?

The Strollers competition could be gone, but we shouldn't complain. We should be thankful we still have D-Days. We have to be careful to keep in mind the importance of the activity we are involved in. If we don't, it becomes as routine as any of our normal daily activities. When this happens, we lose more than just another campus activity.

Nature v Nurture

[Volante Article - Issue 4/20/05]
Life is unfair. Are you barely 5 feet 5 inches tall while the rest of your family towers over 6 feet, including your little brother? Do you struggle with scientific terms as your best friend aces every test without cracking their textbook? Some of us were raised in rich families with a pool in the backyard and a beach house in Florida. Others grew up dirt poor, looking forward to a Christmas consisting of a few threadbare socks hanging above a small space heater and a 4 foot tall tree rotting away in a corner.

It's obvious that people are born and raised with families, experiences and traits that are unique to that individual. Some of us are coordinated, athletic and muscular, while others are tall, skinny and accident-prone. Some of us struggle with classes, while others are too smart for their own good. This leads to an interesting question relating to success and skill: Is it what you have, or what you do with what you have?

What you have is obviously important. You can't be a basketball star if you don't have the skills to become one. But, are these talents of agility, speed and coordination hereditary, or learned from early experiences? One factor is the likeliness of a child to be involved in the same activities as his or her sibling(s). While the youngest child will want to define their own status, the chances are that he or she could be a basketball star. We all know families who produce athletically phenomenal children. Most of the credit for this is due to the experiences the children have and their family environment.

Natural talent is essential; it does depend in part on heredity. But how necessary is talent? Take the example of a sense of humor. This is one trait that is more learned than inherited. A son may have a similar sense of humor as his father, which could be due to many things. The son may look up to his father, see him as his hero and want to act like him. The way the son perceived his father when he was younger is very important, and the son commonly ends up copying his father's behavior as he grows up.

I do believe that a gene increases the chances of how you will behave, but the qualities you inherit will not "make" you do one thing over another. The importance lies with what you do with those skills. If you don't practice, these skills can't develop and natural talent ends up being wasted.

I am making the significance of nurturing your skills very evident. In truth, what you have and what you do with what you have is important. But, the latter tips the scale. What you are experiencing today, right now, will affect what you are going to do after you read this article. Whether you roll your eyes, sit and ponder my crazy thoughts or scratch your head in confusion depends on what you've done in the past after you've read an off the wall opinion article. Either way, the experiences you have in early life directly affect the rest of your life, whether you like it or not.

Minnesotans

Hi. I'm from Minnesota, and I can't talk right well. Pronouncing certain words is difficult. About, while, sorry- the list goes on. I think the sentence: "Soarie, I was ouwt and abouwt fer a wall." [aka: "Sorry, I was out and about fer a while."] would cause my friends who are not from MN to roll around on the ground for a long time. Some of them might even die of excessive laughter. Other bad sentences:

"Can you git me some melk?"
"I tripped on a rutt on my way to the crik."
"What's yer ruff doin' on fire?"
"Where's my pellow?"

Still, I am proud to be a Minnesooootan...
even if i get made fun of fer the rest of my life.*

who's your audience?

Big Daddy Weave - Audience of One

[chorus]
And I lift these songs / To you and you alone / As I sing to you / In my praises make your home

To my audience of one / You are Father, and you are Son / As your spirit flows free / Let it find within me / A heart that beats to praise you / And now just to know you more / Has become my great reward / To see your kingdom come
And your will be done / I only desire to be yours, Lord

[verse2]
So what could I bring / To honor your majesty / What song could I sing / That would move the heart of royalty / And all that I have / Is the life that you’ve given me / So Lord let me live for you / My song with humility

serveski 2005 - pine ridge

serveski 2005 - pine ridge
Originally uploaded by awellner.

Flickr

This is a test post from , a fancy photo sharing thing.

The Simpsons

[the following is my first Volante article - 3/23/05]
“How is education supposed to make me feel smarter? Besides, every time I learn something new, it pushes some old stuff out of my brain. Remember when I took that home winemaking course, and I forgot how to drive?”
Leave it to Homer Simpson to express the feeling of every college student on campus. Every time I try to cram another Epoch of the Geologic Time Scale into my overloaded brain, I forget really simple information, like my phone number.
It seems that the long running hit ‘The Simpson’s’ doesn’t just have a lot insults from various characters-it has a lot of valid lessons. Sometimes, Homer’s off the wall view on something so ordinary pinpoints exactly what is wrong with our lives. And Homer isn’t the only one trying to teach us a lesson. One of Marge’s comments could help us in our search for what we’re trying to find in life.
“You should listen to your heart and not the voices in your head.” These voices in our heads could be figments of our imagination, or they could be views of friends or family that hinder our own thoughts (or some of us could be schizophrenics). Most commonly, these negative voices are society, saying ‘you have to be more pretty, skinny, smart, rich, popular than you already are. And you have to do anything to get this way.’ Hard work pays off, but I wouldn’t suggest ignoring ethics to gain success.
“If you really want something in life, you have to work for it.” Homer advises this as he is hopefully watching for the night’s winning lottery numbers. He’s on the right track. Why slide through college on a 2.6 GPA, hoping that you might finally pass that science class on the third try? I am surprised at how many college students are really lazy. I’m not talking about the laziness that sets in around 11pm when your favorite episode of Fresh Prince of Bel-Air comes on. I’m talking laziness that overtakes a person’s complete motivation.
Homer has some more good advice: “Well crying isn't going to help. Now, you can sit there feeling sorry for yourself or you can eat can after can of dog food until your tears smell enough like dog food until your dog comes back, or you can go out there and find your dog.” A confusing take on the ‘no use crying over spilt milk’ advice. Failed another science test? Suck it up and actually study for the next one. Hearing people complain constantly about classes they are failing gets old when they don’t make attempts to succeed.
The lessons that these yellow-skinned, four fingered people continute to teach us really can be applied to our lives. Even though many of the characters continue to make the wrong choices episode after episode, we can see that they really do have good intentions at heart. Except the mean-spirited C. Montogmery Burns, a character you probably shouldn’t take advice from. “What good is money if it can't inspire terror in your fellow man?” After sixteen years, (and hopefully many more) it’s evident that the Simpson family loves each other in their own warped way.

wow I haven't blogged in a while

...I know. I KNOW. It's been almost 2 months since my last post. I'm sure you're over it. I know being busy is no excuse but...

I've been busy.

it seems you have changed

how cool are these lyrics?

Where were you last night when the party was on? / Where were you when we all went down to the bar? / It seems you have changed from us all / It seems you have changed / You want to know, the differences between us / You want to know, why these things have changed / You've got to know the One who lives in me / He lives in me, in me

-Kutless, In Me

Time

why do we feel we are running late when we have so many clocks around us?
right at this moment...

computer clock - 4:28
cell phone next to computer - 4:28
joy's screensaver - 4:29
microwave - 4:24
alarm clock - 4:38 (to get me out of bed in the morning)
watch - 4:29 (surprising i even have one on)

*6* reminders of the time of day and i still will feel rushed on my way to class.

ski picture

me, maria, julie, sara, joy ... we had a
reason for dressing this way. i swear.

another random picture

joy, alyssa and i ...

opposite day picture

opposite day :]

random picture #2

joy, lys, and i

track meet picture

lys and i - track meet @ the dome!! :]

stress picture

are classes stressing you out, Joy?? :]

Randomness

I realize this is probably a sickening topic if you know me at all: randomness. We focus on it a lot, and we're all subject to it, whether we are tired or just being our "normal" self. But how much that goes on in the world really is random? Does everything really happen for a reason?

I have a science class that deals with the origin and evolution of the universe and earth. Surprisingly, it's interesting at times. Despite what my prof. says about all of it, I still believe that our Creater left nothing to chance. In The Ragamuffin Gospel, Brennan Manning makes it a point that the earth was created carefully: "Had the oceans been a few feet deeper, carbon dioxide and oxygen would have absorbed and no vegetable life would exist." Or, if the moon were closer to the earth, the "tides might be so enormous that all continents would be submerged in water." Is it just fortunate that the oceans are exactly the right depth? the moon exaclty the right distance away from the earth?

"When I consider your heavens, the work of your fingers, the moon and the stars which you have set in place, what is the man that you are mindful of him, the son of man that you care for him?" ~Psalm 8:3-4

TCX 04

TCX was an awesome time - check out my pics

www.geocities.com/adolfleuterpe/tcx