Thursday, July 14, 2005

identity

No, i'm not talking mathematical identities here (not with the grade I earned in calc.) I'm talking about individuality; Who are you? What defines you? What's the number one most important thing in your life?

So how do I find this out? I used to have the standard general answer- "I'm me- I'm who I want to be. I am defined by my knowledge and kindness. The number one most important thing in my life...is me."

What's wrong with these answers? Nothing? First, how many times do I say "I?" I despise that letter (there it is again). There is too much focus on ourselves (this issue has already been attended to.) Second, I have been totally humbled the past year. I am not the most intelligent person i know (by far). I am also not the kindest person i know (i knew that all along). Third, it doesn't matter. Someone will always be more intelligent, more kind. I can't believe that I used to let these things define me. I can't believe I used to let success define me. It's easy to do- until you can't find success. What happens when the most important thing in your life is your career, and suddenly you become blind, or deaf, or paralyzed and you are no longer successful at that?

The answers to these questions are really important. Everyone must have at least one main goal or focus in life. If not, may I ask "what are you doing?!?" Even if the goal is to make it through life with no real goals, at least you have a main goal. (PS, that's a pretty bad goal).

Choose wisely. Keep in mind; this main focus should keep you going. It should be the reason you live and you should be willing to die for it. It should be your source of joy.

I think it's sooo cliche when people talk about "finding themselves," but I just have to force myself to focus on the importance of it. Maybe I think it cliche because I've already found myself. I know there will be hard times. I know there will be struggles in the midst of happiness. I also know I don't have to live this life alone. I've found my identity. I know who I am. I know the one most important thing in my life. I know what I live for and what I cherish. I hope you find it, too.

1 comments:

Anonymous said...

already did! lol

hmm, sometimes people tend to say "find yourself" as somewhat of a saying to "inspire" someone very quickly. no one want's to be the teacher anymore.

i had a hard time growing up in south dakota, in the pine ridge reservation, because no one would teach me the finer things in life. all my parents would do is take care of me, that's it. i had to do something before i snapped and turned insane. i had to "find myself" before i was an adult, and i did. i now live a very spiritual life. i meditate and contemplate on the positive outlooks in life.

i think nobody else found their inner peace here because everybody is so judgemental around here. no respect at all. everyone wants instant gratification, and that's bad for the younger kids because the language we speak, which is the lakota language, is literally dying on us, and the people around here don't realize that? no one want's to take time and teach these younger lakota kids who they really are. why is that?

for some reason, the stress level is so high after years passed in the reservation. i think i'm the only one who is optimistic about life, and most of all, humble.

but anyways

HI, my name is james, as you can see. i was searching for people who lived in south dakota and i found your blog to be very interesting. you see, i've recently made a blog for myself. come check out my blog if you have time.

PEACE AND LOVE