Cracked.

At the beginning of May we had some pretty bad weather in my neighborhood; funnel clouds and strong winds and several minutes’ worth of golf-ball sized hail. I sat in my living room, watching the weather develop, the lightning crack across the sky; the hail stones pound the trees, the ground...and my car, (which I recently named Sawyer. Props to ES for the idea to name it!).

After the storm passed, I went outside to check out the damage. There were some nice dents on the hood, roof and trunk. I was a bit annoyed, but grateful the damage wasn't worse.

When I got into my car to leave for work the next morning, I noticed a large chip at the top of the windshield and several cracks that had developed. I almost didn't believe my eyes! I had checked it last night and didn't see anything. When I got to work I checked it again, just to be sure.

I have had some bad luck with windshields. In just over 2 years, I've gone through 3 of them. I've never been in an accident, major or minor, never been ticketed, never even been pulled over in my car. But for whatever reason, cracked windshields are my thing.

The weirdest thing is that the glass looks fine on the outside, but on the inside it's very obvious there's a crack.

A few months ago I heard a sermon from a guest speaker at my church about the seven woes in Matthew 23. The first three woes in this passage deal with proper teaching (the Pharisees were pushing people away from Jesus). There’s enough in these first three woes to warrant their own post, which maybe I’ll write someday.

It was the next 3 woes really hit me; those dealing with justice, faith and mercy (throwback to Micah 6:8 - "do justice, love mercy, walk humbly with your God"). These woes deal with our desire to fill our restless hearts with things that don't satisfy. We do a lot, we're busy, but we neglect the most important things in life.

"Woe to you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites! For you tithe...and have neglected the weightier matters of the law: justice and mercy and faithfulness. These you ought to have done, without neglecting the others..." (verse 23)

"Woe to you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites! For you clean the outside of the cup and the plate, but inside they are full of greed and self-indulgence." (verse 25)

"Woe to you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites! For you are like whitewashed tombs, which outwardly appear beautiful, but within are full of dead people’s bones and all uncleanness... outwardly appearing righteous, but within you are full of hypocrisy and lawlessness." (verse 27-28)

After every "woe" in this passage, my heart follows with it's own quiet "whoa."

The Pharisees were fantastic at keeping their windshields polished (but neglected the cracks on the inside). They were passionate and devoted (concerning the wrong things). They did good things (and ignored what was best).

At different times in my life, I've felt similar to the way my windshield looks. As I pondered this analogy on my drive home from work the other day, I was struck by the irony present when considering my windshield history.

The cracks I've experiences in my windshield have occurred during very stressful situations in my life. Last summer, a tree branch cracked my windshield during a storm while I was living at home. I was preparing to move to Minneapolis, even though I wasn't at full financial support, which was stressful, to say the least. The week before my college graduation, amidst finals, adjusting to a new roommate, and deciding whether or not I would join staff, a rock chip turned into a major crack in my windshield on a snowy winter day.

Every time I get in or out of my car, I see that crack. It's been taunting me the last few weeks of work, the most stressful so far this year.

What Jesus is talking about here in Matthew 23 describes exactly how I’ve felt at these moments in my life. I immerse myself in tasks and to-do lists, doing good things, but ignore what’s really going on in my heart.

I could write more about that, the source of my stress, but right now my focus is on the tendency I have to ignore it, push through it, and pretend like things are fine.

We're all cracked in ways that aren't visible on the outside. These imperfections are present no matter how hard we try to hide them. They occur for different reasons. Not dealing with them in healthy ways is like not dealing with a cracked windshield. The longer we wait, the situation becomes worse.

As I think about being cracked, I'm grateful for the Body of Christ. God uses His people to point out the cracks, yes, but God also uses them in significant ways to move me brokenness to redemption.