leaving town!

well it's been a weird past few days. didn't think packing up my stuff and leaving the dorm would be as strange as it was. don't worry, it was a good strange. on the upside, being a CA and leaving the bureaucracy that housing is was wonderful - one of the major upsides of leaving verm-town and coming home. i mean, i know i'll miss it, but in the moment of leaving my best friends who i've spent the past 9 months with, (and one friend, over a year) i was glad to have something to be happy about! ok now that sounds bad, like i wasnt happy about moving home. well, i wasn't estatic, but going on project also helped brighten the mood. But, being this sad about leaving my friends means that the Lord has blessed me soo much that these people are a part of my life!! And leaving them was the worst part of my week, which is still pretty good compared to the bad things that could happen.

Melancholy

I had a great night- ice cream, campfire, hanging with friends. But my disposition is sooo crappy right at this second. There are so many adjectives I can think of to describe how I am feeling ... pensive ... wistful ... nostalgic ... bittersweet ... basically just wishing I had more time. I am sick of finals, studying, CA stuff, and i know i will miss everyone soo much but i really want to leave. like i can't wait one more day to get out of here. i want out so bad. BUT i am going to miss everyone so much. ahhh. bittersweet fo' sho'.

100% (+)

As of today, I have reached, and exceeded, my support goal for project: $2006 dollars! sweet. God is so faithful!! so appreciate the checks and especially the encouraging notes from everyone. yay! T-minus 3 weeks to Medora!!

"What can I do, but thank you- what can I do but give my life to you"
what can I do // paul baloche
"I just want to thank you, Lord, I just want to thank you Lord."
thank you Lord // paul baloche

ahhhhh

This has been the weirdest semester...maybe even the weirdest year. Ahhh. bleh. weird. tough. odd. crazy. good. crazy. rough. up down twisted mess. ok. that's a lot of adjectives. I think it's bc I have had mixed feelings on like everything. I could REALLY delve into it all but if I started, I wouldn't stop, and I need to go on a round eventually. So I'll just skim over the top of it all by saying WEIRD. just weird.

song

I asked for strength that I might achieve;
I was made weak that I might learn humbly to obey.

I asked for health that I might do greater things;
I was given infirmity that I might do better things.

I asked for riches that I might be happy;
I was given poverty that I might be wise.

I asked for power that I might have the praise of men;
I was given weakness that I might feel the need of God.

I asked for all things that I might enjoy life;
I was given life that I might enjoy all things.

I got nothing that I had asked for;
But everything I had hoped for.

Almost despite myself my unspoken prayers were answered;
I am, among all men, most richly blessed.

Our church choir sang this old song on easter. I love it. It does a perfect job of describing me and the changes I have been through and am continually going through. And just when I think I've learned my lesson, sometimes I need to relearn it- so thankful for the grace of God!

A and B

[disclaimer: this is a REALLY random thought that I am just beginning to formulate in my mind, so I'm sure once I read it I will probably think "HUH!?" or change my mind, so just keep that in mind, haha.]

I want to believe in the romantic idea that there is one perfect person out there for everyone, but I just don't think it's true for everyone- in some cases people stay single their whole lives, and in others people are happily married to several people [...at different times...but not after divorcing...like the example I'm thinking of is Elisabeth Elliot]. Once, I heard a wise person say that God's will might not be as direct and to the point as we might sometimes think- like there could be several majors one could pick in college, each resulting in different careers, but no matter what is chosen they are all God's will [i have now entered the point of no return, so i really hope that I understood this person correctly! lol]. so, there could be several people that one could marry and all would be an ok choice. question- man A could basically marry woman A or woman B. He decides to be adventurous and pick B, which means he doesn't pick A. what if man A was the only one that woman A would ever marry and man A went and picked woman B,leaving A single the rest of her life, when possibly woman B could have married man B?

I just re-read all that. wow. now i have proof i'm crazy! :P but i'll leave this post up here [why not?] in hopes of spurring some awesomely random comments from one or all three of the people that read this. [that would be mike, alyssa and kristine]

love

I am doing a book study on philippians now [FINALLY finished up james!] and i read through the following verses and i just love them:

So this is my prayer: that your love will flourish and that you will not only love much but well. Learn to love appropriately. You need to use your head and test your feelings so that your love is sincere and intelligent, not sentimental gush. Live a lover's life, circumspect and exemplary, a life Jesus will be proud of: bountiful in fruits from the soul, making Jesus Christ attractive to all, getting everyone involved in the glory and praise of God. -Philippians 1:9-11 [the message]

Love is a tricky thing. It should never be false, fake or foul. We are to love others so Jesus will be proud of us - glad that we are making him known, and making him appear fascinating- which he is. This passage tells us to be careful with our love- which sounds contradictory since we are to love everyone. But may be it's saying that you need to be careful in not just who you love, but how you love. anyway, 1 corinthians 13 isn't the only awesome chapter on love! i think this passage is awesome, too. :]