a sad observation.

why do I continually put my trust in things that never prove faithful? well, first, God is obviously the only thing that is going to be faithful to me no matter what. [of which i am so very thankful for!] good thing there is grace, because i never give him the trust he deserves to get from me.

and yet, there are so many things in my life that i trust in every day to be there for me, to make me happy, to give me unconditional love and happiness and security. and they always fail me in the end. it's human nature to trust in things seen and not unseen, even tho we should do the opposite (kind of talked about in matthew 6:28).

i have been trying something new- trying to climb outside of my life, and look at it from another perspective. and i've been successful. and what i see scares me. i put so much trust in so many things. family and money and grades and myself and my own plans. and my friends, wow. i have such amazing friends and am thankful for them every day. this week at discipleship we talked about stewardship and while my friends are not mine to own, the relationships i have with them need to be handled in a way that honors God.

and i have not been doing that.

this semester/year i feel like God has been grabbing onto them and pulling them away from me. there have been a few things that have developed, probably unnoticed to my friends but i see them, and i suppose it could be God's way of taking away the things i am loving more than him. a sad observation indeed. at least i have realized this and have the desire to change.

i am again finding comfort in the song 'faithful to me' by jennifer knapp ... 'i have searched endlessly for a faith to be faithful to me ... another day, another trial, another chance to reconcile ... and reaching out my weary hand i pray that you'd understand - you're the only one who's faithful to me. you're the only one who's faithful to me.'