church

I had an interesting converstation with my mom today about church. I guess a few weeks ago at our church council which consists of my mom, our pastor, and a few others that are distantly related to my dad. they were off topic and were talking about fighting w/their spouses. one of them commented that she fought w/her husband and he only has a little 'wellner' in him, she couldn't imagine what it would be like to be married to a full-blooded wellner. the other council member agreed. my mom was so mad, and i felt horrible that people would even say that about her. what kind of a church is this? not one where people are supported or built up. the sad thing is, they are right but couldn't keep it to themselves or offer support. so much more to write that i won't get into. the congregation wonders why their attendance is so low- they have no idea why, because they think we are so friendly! falsehood. they might think they're 'minnesota nice,' and you don't even have to be on the 'inside' to notice. I think it's time the family switches churches. there's a Baptist one about 20 minutes away ... or CM&A within a 1/2 hr. so i dare suggest we try one of them? or do we stay and try to turn things around? that would put a huge burden on my mom, one i know she can't handle alone. only God can truly turn this church around. if He doesn't, it will probably close down. maybe I'm just bitter, but i can't help thinking it would be the best for everyone.

Through Painted Deserts

I started this book by Donald Miller about 2 months ago but got too busy to read it, so I thought I'd pick it up again before I go on my own short road-trip in two weeks. Every once in awhile I find a little paragraph in there that totally describes what I'm feeling:

"It occurs to me, as it sometimes does, that this day is over and will never be lived again, that we are only the sum of days, and when those are spent, we will not come back to this place, to this time, to these people and these colors, and I wonder whether to be sad about this or to be happy..."

"It's interesting how you sometimes have to leave home before you can ask difficult questions, how the questions never come up in the room you grew up in, in the town in which you were born. It's funny how you can't ask difficult questions in a familiar place, how you have to stand back a few feet and see things in a new way before you realize nothing that is happening to you is normal."

medora! wahhoo!!

I love the midwest. LOVE IT. I don't know if I can live anywhere else. In particular, i love minnesota, but really anywhere in the midwest is good with me. I mean, i could go anywhere on project and the only places i ever seriously considered where Traverse City, MI (which i would LOVE to visit someday) and Medora. My mom gets the magazine "midwest living" and of course they had a spread in there about the Theodore Roosevelt National Park (yep that's right). It was about roughing it while camping and the pics that accompanied the article were amazing!!

Ahh Medora. A friend recently commented something like "it's crazy that your friends get placed in far, beachy locations like mississippi and south carolina, while you are going to North Dakota." nope, nick, i picked medora. yep, seriously, i picked it. and i'm glad i did bc i wouldn't wanna be anywhere else. I know that this summer is pretty much going to be the most amazing and eventful one of my life, yes even tho i am 35 miles away from a wal-mart...and, come to think of it, a hospital. Honestly tho, it's not so much the location but the fact that I'm going on project. the general atmosphere created by the staff and students will be so unique to anything i've been a part of. add that to the amazing scenery and chances to serve the Lord & tell others about how he has changed my life so much, and that has potential for a pretty awesome summer right there!

I will stop rambling, tho, and leave you with a few wise words from my newest hero (lol) teddy roosevelt:

"Speak softly and carry a big stick; you will go far."
"Do what you can, with what you have, where you are."
"Keep your eyes on the stars and your feet on the ground."

leaving town!

well it's been a weird past few days. didn't think packing up my stuff and leaving the dorm would be as strange as it was. don't worry, it was a good strange. on the upside, being a CA and leaving the bureaucracy that housing is was wonderful - one of the major upsides of leaving verm-town and coming home. i mean, i know i'll miss it, but in the moment of leaving my best friends who i've spent the past 9 months with, (and one friend, over a year) i was glad to have something to be happy about! ok now that sounds bad, like i wasnt happy about moving home. well, i wasn't estatic, but going on project also helped brighten the mood. But, being this sad about leaving my friends means that the Lord has blessed me soo much that these people are a part of my life!! And leaving them was the worst part of my week, which is still pretty good compared to the bad things that could happen.

Melancholy

I had a great night- ice cream, campfire, hanging with friends. But my disposition is sooo crappy right at this second. There are so many adjectives I can think of to describe how I am feeling ... pensive ... wistful ... nostalgic ... bittersweet ... basically just wishing I had more time. I am sick of finals, studying, CA stuff, and i know i will miss everyone soo much but i really want to leave. like i can't wait one more day to get out of here. i want out so bad. BUT i am going to miss everyone so much. ahhh. bittersweet fo' sho'.

100% (+)

As of today, I have reached, and exceeded, my support goal for project: $2006 dollars! sweet. God is so faithful!! so appreciate the checks and especially the encouraging notes from everyone. yay! T-minus 3 weeks to Medora!!

"What can I do, but thank you- what can I do but give my life to you"
what can I do // paul baloche
"I just want to thank you, Lord, I just want to thank you Lord."
thank you Lord // paul baloche

ahhhhh

This has been the weirdest semester...maybe even the weirdest year. Ahhh. bleh. weird. tough. odd. crazy. good. crazy. rough. up down twisted mess. ok. that's a lot of adjectives. I think it's bc I have had mixed feelings on like everything. I could REALLY delve into it all but if I started, I wouldn't stop, and I need to go on a round eventually. So I'll just skim over the top of it all by saying WEIRD. just weird.