two days of complacency

my weekend was pretty great. friday i finished my fall semester with [hopefully] the best finals i have ever taken [academically. they were still pretty tough]. got up around 8am and had breakfast with the farmhouse girlies [with presents afterward] before they took off for MN and finals. i lounged around all day, spent some time in the Word, played many a game of spider solitaire, messed around, played my guitar, good stuff like that. all that was topped off with a brownie for supper. don't worry, the brownie had caramel on top. and the caramel had vanilla ice cream on top of that.

Saturday i slept in, went to rochelle's grad party, then stopped by hillside for maria's party. good times! her family is so nice. and free pizza is good, too. got home mid-afternoon, played more guitar, packed for rapid [!], played more spider solitaire [think i'm addicted], rescued the pregnant cat from behind the dryer, watched a few movies [the end of LOTR, part of a german film about the Holocaust, Finding Nemo, Save the Last Dance] and ate a lot of unhealthy foods.

a whole month!

the semester is pretty much over. pretty crazy. i have a bit more to work on with my SIFE news story but I'm basically done. what to do now? man i need a job. hopefully i will be able to get one after christmas is over. tomorrow is gonna be nice....hang out all day, do nothing [hopefully!] Jules and Jordan are going on a date tomorrow night and Joy and Lys will be out of town. what to do? we'll see. maybe date night w/Jesus or something. I could use some time in the Word! can't wait to spend almost all next week in rapid. gonna be a good time! then a week at home, a few days in the cities + maria's wedding and then back to verm-town.

The Love of God

Could we with ink the ocean fill,
And were the skies of parchment made,
Were every stalk on earth a quill,
And every man a scribe by trade,
To write the love of God above,
Would drain the ocean dry.
Nor could the scroll contain the whole,
Though stretched from sky to sky.

Awesome.

Wolves & Mountains

I feel the need to document this in case it needs referring to later. Tonight Jordan was hanging out w/us and Jules, Lys and I were talking in the kitchen with him about random stuff. I had been thinking about how hard it is for some guys to ask a girl out, so I asked Jordan this question:

"How much more likely is a guy to go up to a girl if she's alone, say, in a coffee shop, than when she's with a group of her friends?"

He proceeded to reply "It's like the difference between a deer and a pack of wolves." Lys, Jules and I proceeded to say "Yep, you're probably right!" It was pretty hilarious.

Also from Jordan- the Everest example. Asking a girl out in front of her friends is like climbing Mt. Everest - few make it, many die along the way, but for those that do make it, come great rewards.

perspective

what's important in life? really? i am sitting here playing spider solitaire, ignore my org behavior book and feeling bad for amusing myself with a card game when i could be doing something more useful [like blogging i guess...ha! what irony]. i just think it's horrible that people can go their whole life and not know what is really important. they climb the corporate ladder and go home at night to their house in the 'burbs w/a spouse and 2.3 kids. and that's cool, more power to em for being success, acheiving their goals, etc. but material things don't matter. even i put so much faith in and receive worth from my posessions. i know what is important in life- i am so thankful for having found the thing for which i will live my life and give everything back to, as He gave it all for me. i think a change in perspective could be awesome for me, tho. i sorely need to be hit with eternal perspective. yay tcx. 18 days.

freak-out

it happened. even after my careful planning of the rest of my life [ok, the next two years] I find myself wanting to do the unthinkable: change my major. technically, this is what I am: Business Admin degree with a Management Major and Human Resource Specialization + a degree in Contemporary Media & Journalism with an emphasis in Print Journalism. YUCK. If I could start over, I think I'd switch to a Finance + English major. The business part...I can do numbers, but I cannot figure out people. what was I thinking with an HR Management major? Ugh. And Journalism...well, I don't see myself writing for a newspaper in college- OR EVER. Maybe a magazine. But (I think) I would love to get into publishing, for which an English major would be sweet. I mean, a journalism degree will probably be 'good enough' but English would be the practical thing I suppose.

Oh who am I kidding? Why change majors now? It's not like switching will magically solve all my problems. And THEN there's Campus Crusade. I could just forget this college junk and work for them. Sweetness. Except I need a 4yr degree. Ok. I guess college will have to do no matter what the major.

Fame.

I had to write a few obituaries for my newswriting class today- just finished writing Madeleine Albright's obit, which is tough since she isn't dead yet. Man, she has had a pretty interesting life. It was fun to learn about it, and if I had some extra time on my hands I would like to read up on her a bit more. Maybe over Christmas break. She has a new book out, entitled "The Mighty and the Almighty". Sounds interesting, and probably a decent read. I can't get over famous people. They have so much power sometimes- depending on the person, I guess. I can't help but think what would happen if people like Madeleine Albright or, say, Oprah, were Christian? I'd say there's probably a good chance that neither of them are, but then again I don't know for sure. Today in his sermon, PT talked about God's wisdom- basically He knows everything about us - and He loves us anyway, which is pretty cool. PT talked about successes, and, even when no one sees the good we do and we don't get credit for it, God sees it. Comforting, since sometimes I feel that the work I (and the rest of us in crusade) do goes unnoticed and unthanked. It's pathetic how self-centered I can be, and how much I do with the wrong motives. Ever since I was little I always wanted to be famous. I mean, not like movie star famous (but if it happened, it'd be ok :] ) but just famous- I wanted people to know me. I want to be known. And it's really awesome that someone CAN know me so well, probably even better than myself (that'd be God). Even my roommies...I mean, we spend a lot of time together and are close friends, but I will never know everything about Joy Lys or Jules. And they'll never know everything about me. But God will, which is actually kind of scary. These thoughts were running through my mind today during the rest of the service and afterwards. I haven't really given up my insane desire to be famous. It sounds funny, but still at times I slip into the mood that my worth comes from how many people know me and like me. Even something little like seeing a vaguely familiar face on campus, and that person says "hey amy" and I have no idea how I know them, or better, how they know me. And then I realize they know me from CRU since I'm up on stage and I think, man, maybe I'm more popular than I think (because I'm not popular). So you see, it's tricky. Let's bring this full circle. I want to be famous. I can't deny it. I want to be known by a lot of people and have someone write my biography and name a building after me and build me a monument. I want to be famous like Madeleine Albright. And I know it probably will never happen, but it's something I've wanted all my life, so it's a bit hard dealing with those feelings. Because those have changed. I want to be a servant- I don't have a servant's heart, but I want one because I know it's what I should do. I guess it comes down to the fact that I'm a walking contradiction.