irony?

this is how i am. i think all the time about everything, (which makes doing any type of activitiy in which i need to think--like studying--very hard to do). i was in fact thinking today about my future (go figure). we had presentations in two of my business classes this morning about internships at daktronics. i wasn't really interested, but they sure drilled into my head the importance of gaining experience in your work field. and it is a real catch-22: you need experience to get a job, but you need a job to get experience. enter internships.

so after sitting thru the same two presentations in a span of an hour and a half, i think "yeah...ok. ok fine! fine. i should get an internship."

then i think about my summer. and brazil. and i want to go to brazil. but i do kinda want an internship, a little bit at least. so i decide-- crusade, no. brazil, you might have to wait this summer if i find an internship that i actually would be excited about and might get in to. and i waver back and forth a lot, but this thought was very strong in my mind today.

and then i check my e-mail.

"We have received your summer project application and will begin the reviewing process." --Crusade. AHHHHH. didn't i just tell you i wanted to wait, God? come on. when i finally decide i should maybe get a 'real' job this summer, i am again reminded of my other option. [if you're still reading this, i commend you.]

so i begin to look online-- because, i need a job right now, and i am also thinking about summer internships. ohh internet, how i love you. after 40 minutes of thinking and reading and hoping, i actually, seriously, find an option. sweet! a human resources spring internship (aka right now) at an insurance company in south sioux city -- good pay, no more than 20 hrs a week. PERFECT. awesome. i am pretty excited about this opportunity. a little nervous because it is my potential first 'real' job in the 'real' world where i might 'real' -ly end up some day. yeah.

so if i could do this, i could get good HR experience and save up money to pay rent while i'm in brazil this summer. :D

//sometimes i believe all the lies so i can do the things i should despise. and every day i am swayed by whatever is on my mind. i hear it all depends on my faith so i'm feeling precarious. the only problem i have with these mysterious is they're so mysterious. and like a consumer i've been thinking if i could just get a bit more, more than my 15 minutes of faith, then i'd be secure.
my faith is like shifting sand--changed by every wave.
my faith is like shifting sand, so i'll stand on grace.//
//shifting sand, Caedmon's Call//